“No, she didn’t. She didn’t go through anyone.” Elena got up off the bed. “She had a gun to Roksana and Danika’s head. I loved them enough to destroy myself for them. It hurt like hell, but we all survived. We all lived. And now the moment I have returned, she has also. Thousands of men? Please. She rang Danika at the fucking breakfast table.”
I worked my jaw. “So, your solution was to live on the run, in near poverty and raise a child by yourself? Elena, that never should’ve happened.”
“I did what I had to do to protect the ones I love. I won’t apologize for that.”
“You tore this family down the middle,” I murmured. “You ripped me in half.”
Elena spread her arms. “But you had air in your lungs. You woke up and went back to sleep every day. You were alive, Konstantin.”
“Some things are worse than death.”
“I would’ve torn my heart out of my chest myself and cracked it open like a nut to keep you safe. Hell, I would’ve let Tatiana choose which pieces to eat if it meant letting you stay alive. If it meant letting Artyom, Roksana, Danika, Roman and Dmitri have another day. If it meant Anton and Evva having another day.” She pointed to the tattoo on my arm, the list of names of people I loved. “Wouldn’t you have done the same?”
I would’ve. I would’ve done horrible things to keep my loved ones safe. I had done horrible things to keep them safe. There was no greater devotion in my life than the one I had for my family.
I had not considered Elena felt the same.
“Your time of sacrificing has come to an end,” I told her. “You’re no longer alone, Elena. You have people who love you and care for you, people who have your back. The next time someone threatens you, you come let us know.”
“And what?”
“We’ll unleashed Babushka on them.”
Her lips twitched at the attempt at humor.
“No.” I lowered my voice. “They will be dealt with. There will be no more secrets, no more lies.”
Elena laughed sadly. “My priorities have shifted from three years ago...I have Nikolai now. I need to keep him safe and happy.”
“I can keep him safe, as well.”
“You don’t understand what it’s like,” she said. “Being a mother.”
My eyes dropped to her lower stomach, spotting the caesarean scar that lined her skin. Her body had changed in motherhood, no less beautiful or breathtaking; just different.
“Explain it to me.”
Elena met my eyes.
I expanded, “I want to know what it’s like.”
“I built Nikolai from nothing.” Her voice broke, emotion clouding her features. She laid a hand on her heart, clutching her chest like she was trying to stop the feelings from escaping. “There was nothing passive about his creation. I broke and ached as I formed his heart and lungs, my bones shifted and my muscles stretched to hold him. Every cell inside of me answered the call and worked tediously to create my son."
I stared at her. Her words had reached into my chest and wrenched out my heart.
In that moment, there wasn’t a single part of me that wasn’t desperately in love with the woman who stood before me. She was a warrior, stronger than anyone I had ever met. No one else could compare; no one else was worthy to stand at my side.
“My Elena,” I breathed. “Don’t leave me again.”
She met my eyes, tears lining her own. The green in them shimmered like jade. Nikolai’s eyes, some faraway part of my brain noted. My son has his mother’s eyes.
Then she said the words I had dreamed of hearing her say.
“I won’t,” she whispered. “I won’t ever leave again.”
21
Konstantin Tarkhanov
The crowd shouted as the colts crossed the finish line, their jockeys either stretching from their saddles to shout in joy or curl themselves inwards to hide their shame. Money exchanged hands as bets were lost and won, large ostentatious hats were judged, and liquor flowed. Our private box was suddenly filled with greedy owners, whose eyes all went to Elena.
Elena stood off to the side, champagne in hand and expression warning everyone off.
I had trouble tearing my gaze off her, as well.
She wore an emerald green cocktail dress that stopped above the knee, revealing the long expanse of torturous leg. An arrogant hat was pinned into her hair, the feathers and artificial leaves curling upwards. She had kept the hat on in exchange for one compromise; she got to remove her shoes.
The heels were beside her feet, ready to be toed back on at a moment’s notice. Or at gun point.
I had been surprised when she had said she wanted to join me at the races. Our relationship had entered a tender purgatory, neither of us acknowledging the fact that now that Elena’s secrets had been revealed, the obstacles that had kept us apart were know null and void.
My hands came up to my suit, summoning the memory to the forefront of my mind.
Boris's hands had shaken as he’d fitted me for my suit. Once upon a time, he had felt comfortable enough to engage me in a conversation and accidentally prick me with a needle, but now he stayed hauntingly quiet, too afraid to utter a single word.
I assessed him as he fitted me for a new suit. Sweat beaded on his forehead when he noticed my attention.
I went to say something when the door opened, and my son came darting into the room. His grin was wild and eyes alight with mischief as he spotted Boris.
"Boris, this is my son, Nikolai. Nikolai, this is Boris."
Boris's lips parted in shock.
"I told you to wait for me," came Elena's voice. She followed her son into the room, irritation warping her features. "I told you Konstantin was busy. Why would you do something I told you not to?"
Niko shrugged. "Wanted to."
I smothered my laugh with a cough. He looked to me, face brightening when he realized I was amused by his antics.
Elena turned to me, probably to snap at me for encouraging the toddler, but her eyes fell onto my half-clothed form. She went pink in the cheeks.
This time I made no effort to smother my amusement.
"Why are you getting a new suit?" she asked, missing nothing.
"For the upcoming race. Hilarion is being introduced as a stud." I adjusted the loose cuffs. "Meaning I am in need of a new colt."
Elena's eyes flickered. "What do I wear?"
"What do you wear? You're not coming."
Her lips pressed together in tight line. "Why ever not?"
"It's not safe."
Both Boris and Niko suddenly found the floor very interesting.
"I'm not staying locked away forever, Kon," she reminded me sharply. "I'll borrow one of Roksana's hats."
I sent her a meaningful look. She knew I wouldn't argue about my security worries in front of Boris–or Nikolai.
Elena shrugged. "I'm curious–put that down now!–" Niko hastily put down the vase he had been holding "And want to leave." She finished her sentence like there had been no interruption.
"If you truly have your heart set on it, fine. But you listen to me, Elena,” I told her. “There is no wandering off, no leaving my sight.”