After Odessa ate a few carrots, Duchess gained enough courage and danced over. She stuck close to her mother, but Niko stretched out a carrot to her. I grabbed Odessa’s head so she didn’t rip it from his hand.
“Here you go, horsey.” His voice was soft and inviting.
The foal took the carrot between her teeth, pulling away. She trotted a few paces away from us to mouth the carrot but she didn’t know what to do with it.
Niko looked at me, expression as bright as the rising sun. “She’s too fast.”
“Maybe you can pet her another time. When she’s used to you.”
He climbed down off the fence, nodding. “Feed Baz?”
“I’m sure Basil would like that very much. Do you want to ride him?”
“Ride?” Niko began to bounce from foot to foot. “Yes, please.”
“Come on, then. Let me show you how to saddle him up.”
I was surprised how much Nikolai paid attention as I readied Basil. He sat still on the crate, hands in lap and eyes glued to the horse. I showed him how to tighten the girth and measure the stirrups, and even held him up at to let him test if the saddle was on properly. For a child overflowing with energy and restlessness, he was calm and watchful around the horses.
Pride clutched my heart. This is something he got from me, I thought. My son and I share a hobby, an interest.
Basil was relaxed, even if he did bloat his stomach when I tried to tighten the saddle. He was the only horse I would let Niko ride; Odessa and Hilarion were too volatile for my child to learn to ride with.
I found the best helmet we owned and helped Nikolai put it on. He fidgeted in annoyance when I tightened the straps, but I warned him that there would be no horse riding if his mother found out I let his brains get scrambled. He relented with a miserable sigh.
The Vory and the dogs all seemed to step into view. Curious eyes followed Niko and me as I brought Basil into the arena, toddler in tow. I knew the thoughts that were racing through their minds; with Elena’s and my wedding set, Nikolai was officially my heir and the next Pakhan. Their protective instincts had doubled–even the dogs seemed to sense it.
I ignored them all as I tied Basil up and turned to Niko.
“What’s rule number one?” I asked.
Niko’s eyes were on Basil not me. “Hold on.”
“That’s rule number two,” I mused. “What’s rule number one?”
He shrugged.
“Listen to me. Riding horses is dangerous, okay? If I tell you to do something, you do it.”
I wasn’t used to being disobeyed; most people were too afraid to even consider it. My son didn’t share their fear.
His nose scrunched up. “Noo.”
“No?” I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, so you have to listen to me to stay safe. Or else you might get hurt. I don’t want that. Do you?”
Green eyes looked to me before back to Basil. He sighed. “I listen to you.”
“Good boy.”
I lifted Nikolai up into the saddle. He was a natural, grabbing the reins and settling himself into the correct position immediately. Sunlight caught loose strands of his hair and I knew my matching locks would also be glimmering. What a pair we must’ve make, I laughed to myself. The king and the prince.
My son showed an affinity for horsemanship and it became clear just minutes after he got into the saddle that he was going to be a skilled rider when he grew up. It didn’t take long for Niko not to need me leading Basil, and though I didn’t leave his side–who would leave a three-year old unattended on a horse?–I watched with pride as he picked up every lesson I taught him.
Basil was naturally slow and lazy, but he did walk a little faster at my urging. Niko’s laughter rose into the air like a bird soaring towards the sky.
“It will be breakfast soon,” I said. “Do you want to head back to the house?”
Niko looked horrified. “No!”
I couldn’t help my laugh. “Your mother will miss us.”
“No, she won’t.” He shook his head vigorously. Basil knickered. “Can we stay?”
“What do you say?”
“Can we stay pleeease, Dad?”
My laughter stopped abruptly.
Nikolai didn’t notice my sudden shock. He just peered at me with big green eyes, expression pleading. “Pleaseeee, Dad.”
Dad. A single word, a title I had never used.
I had imagined my son countless of times.
When I thought of my empire, I built my son in my mind, a king to replace me. One who would be afraid to kill me.
I hadn't considered his youthful years, how he would come into the world defenseless and soft. I hadn’t considered that he might have Elena's eyes or my hair color. How when he looked at me, only devotion and love shone through, not a single cunning thought to be found.
It was in this moment I felt the past few weeks boil down to their raw ingredients.
I was a father. I had a son.
I had someone who would need me and look to me for guidance, someone who relied on my advice and expertise. I was his teacher, guide and protector.
My relationship with my father had never been positive. The only thing I ever owed to that man was my genes. How would I be as a father when the one I had had never been anything but cruel? Was my niece right when she said Nikolai would be lucky to have me? Had those years of taking care of Danika and Roman prepared me enough?
I was not an anxious man; I was not one to stress and become irrational with emotion. It was what made me such a good Pakhan; I was a decision-maker, a leader and king. There was no room in my psyche for nervousness and hesitation.
Yet in this moment, for the first time in my life, I felt a jolt of fear.
Would I ruin Nikolai’s life? Would he be waiting for the moment to kill me?
Should I have left him and Elena alone?
It was his voice that cut my thoughts short. “Five more minutes?”
“Take as long as you want,” I said.
His grin was brighter than the sun.
I walked alongside as he ‘steered’ Basil in circles. Each loop, Niko grew more and more confident, and though I would’ve thought he would grow bored from the repetitiveness, he showed no signs of stopping.
It was well-past breakfast when Elena arrived at the mouth of the woods. In her hand, she carried two plates. From the sharpening of the dogs’ ears, it was clear she had brought breakfast to us.
“Hi Mama!” Niko called, waving.
“Both hands on the reins,” I reminded him.
He quickly corrected himself.
Elena looked besotted with the toddler. “You look like a natural, baby. Are you nearly done? I brought your breakfast.”
“No, not done,” he said quickly.
I caught her gaze, sending her a warm smile. “He is going to be a superb rider.”
“You sound awfully proud.”
“I am. I’ve never seen anyone pick up horse-riding as fast as Niko has.” Elena gave me a humoring look. I added, “We should get him a pony of his own.”
She arched a single eyebrow. “Is that so?”
I caught her tone. “With your blessing, of course.”
“I know nothing about horse-riding,” she mused. “He must get this from you. This and that hair of his.”