She’s better now. She’s come so far, but I don’t know how fragile it all is. Will the road she’s traveled turn to dust under her feet when I tell her about the article? She sees herself as a weakling. To me, she’s a warrior.
“Warner, what’s wrong?” Anna glances back into the house, then steps outside. She’s close to me, and reflexively I take a step away to give her space. There was a time when space was the last thing I’d give her. When I’d hover over her, watchful, worried sick about what she might do.
My teeth grind together as I try to put everything into words. I was so certain I had to be the one to tell her she’s been outed, that the news should come from me, but now that I’m here, I’m at a loss for words. How do you tell someone you care about that the secret they’ve worked so hard to keep is now public knowledge, and it’s your fault?
Anna speaks. “Did something happen with Tenley?” Her tone holds care, but also reluctance. She’s mistakenly assuming I’m coming to her with relationship woes.
“Sort of,” I start. “There was a situation with a photographer. Tenley told him to stop taking pictures and he didn’t listen.”
A small dimple forms in Anna’s left cheek as she laughs. “Let me guess… you puffed up your chest and took care of business?”
Despite the heaviness in my heart, I chuckle. “Something like that.”
Anna’s head tips to the side. “Then what happened?”
I rub the pad of a thumb across my eye, stalling for time. “I think it piqued a whole lot of curiosity. One of the gossip sites must’ve started digging.”
All traces of humor disappear from Anna’s face. She crosses her arm in front of herself, like she can defend against whatever it is I’ve come to tell her. Instinctively, she knows this is about her.
“They were looking at me, I’m sure, trying to find something bad or interesting.” A disgusted grunt tickles the back of my throat. “I’m sure they figured out I’m a single dad, which begs the question about the mom.”
“Spit it out, Warner.”
“They published an article saying you went to a treatment facility and I abandoned you.”
A short, terse breath. A vacant gaze across the front yard. Anna’s initial reaction is smaller in scale than I thought it would be.
I reach for her shoulder, wanting to comfort her, but I can’t tell if she needs it. She’s not retreating into herself, like I watched her do repeatedly. If anything, she is drawing strength from somewhere deep inside, filling in the chasms where sadness and uncertainty used to flow.
“We need to talk to the kids. Especially Peyton.” Anna looks back to the house when she says our daughter’s name. “All her friends have phones. They’ll tell her the second they see her on Monday morning at school.”
“And the town?” It was Sierra Grande that Anna had worried about. All the people who’d watched her grow up. Everyone who’d attended our wedding, celebrated the birth of our children. She’d thought she was letting them all down. She was supposed to be the perfect mother and wife. Anna could barely tell herself she wasn’t perfect; she couldn’t stomach other people knowing it too.
Anna places a hand on my forearm. Her touch used to feel warm on my skin. Right now, it feels like nothing. Like a touch from Dakota, or Jessie, or my mother.
Unlike Tenley, whose touch creates an odd buoyancy in my limbs, and a searing desire through the rest of me.
“Warner, do you remember when we were getting ready to drive to Harmony? Do you remember what you said to me?”
I shake my head. I said a lot of things. I exhausted all my words trying to make sure Anna knew I loved her, that I was there for her.
“You told me this would not define me.” Anna smiles gently. “And you were right. It won’t. But only if I don’t let it. So now, we’re going to call Peyton and Charlie into the living room, and we’re going to tell them why I had to go away. And then, my mom will tell the town gossips. One person will tell another, until they all know. I won’t hide, and I won’t duck my head.” She smiles again, and I see the old Anna, the one who was happy a long time ago. “Normalize. Destigmatize. Those are also your words.”
I’m fucking blown away by her bravery. “Anna, I’m sorry. I brought this on you. You’re forced to do this because of me.”
She pauses in the door she’s just opened. “The day was coming. You just… expedited it.”
I follow her into the house, and she calls for the kids. In the living room, as a family of four, with Brock and Susan looking on, Anna explains her departure to Peyton and Charlie. Tears prick the backs of my eyes as I watch my kids learn about what was happening under their noses, but I don’t allow them to fall. They need me to be strong for them. The same way Anna is being strong for them now.
We may no longer be married, or in love, but we are partners in parenting. And our kids come first.
“I didn’t know it was like that.” Barb presses a palm to her chest, Scarlett O’Hara style.
“To think”—Shirley shakes her head—“we all believed the worst.”
“We should pray for Anna.”
“And for us. Gossip is the devil’s work.”
Barb eyes Shirley. “Hold your horses. The Lord knows our hearts were in the right place.”
29
Tenley
It’s for the best.
I shouldn’t be here any longer. Wyatt’s cabin. Hayden property.
What am I even doing? The last thing I want to do is make life more complicated for Warner and his kids.
In a few weeks’ time I’ll be back in LA. Figuring out what’s next for me. Maybe I’ll take a long vacation, bounce around for a little while. Maybe I’ll hole up in my place with Morgan and eat an ungodly amount of ice cream.
The sound of the dryer’s notification that it’s done makes me jump. I place the last of my toiletries in a bag and go grab the sheets. Every step is wooden, every heartbeat hollow.
I’m almost done here. Fresh sheets on the bed. Bag packed. One more pass through the small cabin to make certain everything is in its place, and I’ll be ready to go.
Not true.
I won’t be ready to go.
I’ll just go. One foot in front of the other, until there’s enough distance to be considered gone.
30
Warner
After our family talk, Peyton and Charlie elected to finish out their weekend visit with their mom. Despite the strength Anna showed just now, I saw the way the kids wanted to protect her. They are Haydens, after all.
I pass the homestead and Cowboy House, then continue on the dirt road until I veer off for Wyatt’s cabin. In the distance, through the pine trees, I see Pearl.
Automatically, a smile curves my lips. It remains in place when I let myself in the front door, and stride all the way into the kitchen, where I can see a wash of golden hair.
Tenley turns to face me, and my smile slides away.
“What’s wrong?” I step toward her, but halt when she shakes her head back and forth quickly.