“I decided to take a shower. I remember wanting her to wake up and see how capable I was, how I was clean and fed. It was a glass shower door, and a piece of shit one at that. I must’ve closed it too hard when I was climbing out, because the glass fell from the door and broke all around me. I called for her, but she didn’t answer. I took a step, but there was water on the floor, and I slipped. The glass cut me in a few different places, very shallow. Except my back. It wasn’t horribly deep, but long and jagged, like it had been dragged across me. I’d watched a medical drama on TV a few weeks before, so I knew it needed pressure. I made my way to the wall, where I pressed my back against a towel, and pushed myself against the wall as hard as I could. I called for her, over and over. Eventually I fell asleep, and when I woke up, the bleeding had stopped. I put on my clothes and went back out to the room. My mother hadn’t moved, and I checked for her pulse the way I’d seen on the TV show. I didn’t really know what I was looking for, but I understood that I didn’t feel anything. No heart beating, no breath coming in and out of her mouth. I ran to the front desk, and they made two phone calls. First to the police, and one I couldn’t hear, because they’d walked away after they dialed. Child Protective Services came and took me, and I spent twenty-nine days in foster care. A couple who didn’t think they could get pregnant wanted to adopt, and they didn’t care that I wasn’t a cute, sweet cooing baby. The day I met the people who I consider my mom and dad was the best day of my life. The day they brought my sister home from the hospital was the second best day.” Finally, I roll over so I can look him in the face. “Very few people in my life know that story.”
The sadness in Warner’s eyes is profound. “I’m sorry your life started out that way.”
The small smile that curves my lips contains grief and pain. “Me too. But I’m incredibly grateful it didn’t keep going that way.”
The pad of Warner’s thumb grazes my jaw. “I understand the trust you’re putting in me by telling me all that. I will not break it.” He kisses me. Sweetly. Gently. He says, “I like you more than I should.” His tone is melancholy. So is mine when I say, “Same.”
His brown eyes pour into me, searching. “What are we supposed to do?”
The timing is wrong. The circumstances are heavy. A Greek tragedy, star-crossed lovers doomed from the beginning. I’ve never considered myself a martyr, but maybe that’s because I’ve never been in a position like this.
The thought of not having Warner, not touching him or seeing him, is too painful to bear. Whatever agony is in my future, I’ll gladly take it if it means I can have Warner while I’m in Sierra Grande.
I kiss him, just as sweetly as he kissed me, and whisper my answer. “We ride the ride.”
25
Warner
“I’m surprised you showed.” I pull over a chair from an empty table near us. Wyatt rolls his eyes as he takes his seat. I knew when I invited him out on our double date with Wes and Dakota tonight there wasn’t a huge chance he’d join us.
“Surprise,” he grumbles, giving me a half-ass version of jazz hands. “Where are the girls?”
“Bathroom,” I answer, shrugging because I know his next question is why they had to go together. I asked the same thing when Dakota stood up and grabbed Tenley’s hand. She’d told me it was girl code. Whatever that means.
A hand slides across the top of my back. Tenley drops down, kissing my cheek as she sits back down in her seat.
“Did you make it okay?” My tone is sarcastic and playful.
Tenley nods, grasping her beer bottle. “Power in numbers, you know?”
I press a kiss to her temple and push away the impulse to end our double date early and drive her straight back to my place. Every moment with her now feels quantifiable. She’d said we’re on a ride, and I know it will eventually be over. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to stop myself from feeling too much for her. There’s no way I can care this deeply about someone so soon. It’s irrational and crazy as hell.
Tenley leans into me. Wes pushes Dakota’s sparkling water with lime closer to her. I stop short of telling him to chill with the overprotectiveness. Dakota’s not going to get dehydrated and harm the baby.
“Did Jessie try to come with you?” Wes asks Wyatt.
Wyatt nods. “I told her she had some turning twenty-one to do before she was allowed in a bar with her brothers, and she told me where I could stick my lecture.” The corners of Wyatt’s mouth turn up as he talks. Sometimes I forget that Wyatt had the most time around Jessie while she was growing up, so he knows her the best.
“She’s feisty,” Dakota says with affection, wrapping her lips around her straw. She makes a face at the straw and plucks it from her drink. “I wish they’d use paper straws.”
Wyatt takes the straw from her and ties a knot in it. “Where do you think you are, The Orchard? This is the Chute. No earth-friendly paper, and not a damn thing is local except the beef.”
Over the loudspeaker they announce it’s time for the bull riding. Tenley squeezes my arm. She’s been excited about it since I asked if this is what she wanted to do for our date this weekend. “Seriously?” she’d asked, eyes wide. “That’s some real cowboy shit.”
Now she’s the first one out of her chair. She bounces on her toes. Her excitement amuses Wes, who does this half grunt, half laugh.
We go outside and find seats on the metal bleachers. It’s not packed, but there are plenty of spectators. The emcee is a middle-aged man in a tan suede blazer, and he stands off to the side of the arena, one forearm propped against the metal fence. He brings the microphone to his lips.
“Hello there all you fine folks! The Chute is happy to welcome you to tonight’s bull riding competition. Remember to cheer on the participants in a friendly manner only, and for those of you who’ve already had your fill of alcohol, no hopping in the ring. The term ‘mad as a bull’ didn’t appear out of thin air.” He pauses to let the crowd laugh at his joke. Tenley chuckles, and even though I’ve heard his spiel twenty times by now, I can’t help but smile at Tenley. She’s into it, and I like that. I like that my beloved little town can bring her a piece of magic.
“And with that, let’s get this party started!” He backs off the post with a flourish.
The first guy comes out. Tenley grabs my hand, squeezing it. Her eyes are fastened to the rider. My eyes never leave her.
“Six seconds,” she breathes when the rider is bucked and the clock stops. She looks at me. The excitement on her face dulls. Her breath turns shallow, she swallows. Leans in. Our lips touch. It’s short, it’s sweet. It’s perfect.
Tenley watches as they pull the next gate. My gaze wanders around the crowd. Right into the eyes of my ex-mother-in-law.
Susan’s mouth forms a sad smile. She nods at me slowly. I return the gesture. We look away.
Tenley never notices the exchange, and I don’t tell her. Rider after rider goes, and I can tell Tenley is worried about them. “It looks so painful,” she whispers.