Silence falls over us. Cole and Dad are silent, watching us. I think they just decided to let it happen. God knows the truth needs to finally be laid out, all cards on the fucking table.
“I never planned on marrying the Bishops,” I mutter, tugging at my fucking pathetic hospital pajama pants they gave me. “Anyone of them.”
“Julian,” Dad starts but I ignore him, looking at my brother.
Liam stares broodingly down at the floor but looks up when I say the last part.
“What does that mean?” he demands.
“It means it’s been Mia since the day I fucking met her,” I state, the meaning of my words going beyond me, becoming heavy in the room. I dare anyone to say otherwise. I dare anyone to tell me that she isn’t mine, including Mia herself.
I hear Dad blow out a frustrated breath. “It’s not that easy.”
“I didn’t sign anything.”
He’s silent, looking between Liam and me. I’ve never seen him this out of sorts and so alert before. “Listen boys, the contracts, especially these kind, where there’s the union of two families, they are binding in more ways than you realize.”
“Like you and Courtney binding?” Cole asks for the first time.
“Well, that woman and I are still married.”
“Wait, what?” Liam demands, and I realize he didn’t know that either. “Am I the only one shocked with this?” No one says a word. “Well what else did I fucking miss? And how is it possible?”
“Years ago, before either of you… I wasn’t from a family as wealthy or as respectable as the Fitzgerald name is now. I came from a struggling house, with a father who… well, he doesn’t fucking deserve to be mentioned since he broke my mother like a fucking twig and thought it smart to deal with another fucking family that later on bled him fucking dry. It was your great-grandfather who made the deal with the Mason family.”
“When you say he broke your mother…” Cole trails off, but the question is loud and clear.
“He broke her mind, Cole,” Dad snaps, and for the first time I see the rage in his eyes, but it doesn’t take me long to realize he’s been holding it in so tightly over the years, it passed as unnoticeable. “He broke her heart years before but her mind… it happened slowly, over a period of time.”
Holy shit.
I have the answer before I even ask. When he looks at me, I see the confirmation glinting in his anger fueled eyes.
“And Aiden?”
“He was not your brother.”
And there it is.
“Wait, what?” Liam demands, staring wide-eyed at Dad. “What do you mean? If he wasn’t our brother, who was he?”
Dad looks choked up, like he can’t even breathe so I answer for him.
“Our uncle.”
Liam snaps his head in my direction, disbelief radiating from each of his pores. “Dude what?”
Cole is silently bristling beside me, but he calmly answers. “Research shows that sometimes, not all the time, older mothers are more likely to have a baby affected by down syndrome than younger mothers, Liam.”
“But, but…” he trails off, at a loss for words. “Your mother? Our grandmother?”
Dad walks over to the floor-length windows and stares out into, well, his past.
“I took him in as my son because I thought it was just simpler that way than to have to explain to anyone that my fifty-six-year-old mother who was chronically depressed and showing early signs of Schizophrenia, gave birth to him and died in labor.”
Jesus.
We don’t say anything. I know better than to prod him to get to the Courtney part, so we just let him have a moment. To me, it makes no difference, Aiden was my blood and I’ll always love him. Hell, I miss him. But Liam… resentment is his best game.
“Why did you stay away from him, then? Were you angry that he took away your mom? Or that he reminds you of what your father did?”
“It’s been almost seven months since he’s been gone, Liam and I’m still asking myself the same question. He was so full of love, kindness, forgiveness. All the things I didn’t have.”
“How could you let Courtney in though, Dad? How could you marry someone who went on to terrorize Aiden?” Liam demands, not appeased at all.
“I didn’t know.”
“What do you mean you didn’t know?” I ask now.
“You see, the house Courtney came from was a wealthy and well to do family, but their morals were….” Dad trails off, a faraway look in his eyes. “Anyway, you saw what she can do and the lengths she’ll go through when threatened.”
Yes, side with Nathan just to take Mia out of my fucking life!
“Long story short, partnerships were made. Contracts were drawn and signed. It was years later. I wasn’t even thinking clearly, all I knew was ambition, gritting my damn teeth and getting the fucking work done, because in signing that contract, I knew I could never be with the love of my life. Hell, she sent me fucking letter telling me she found someone else and now has a daughter.” Nancy and Mia. “So, I signed it and then met your mother weeks later.
“I knew I made a grave error. I knew I wasn’t going to love her. I tried contesting the marriage, knew she hated Aiden but well, the terms of these kind of contracts are clear and I fear one such contract was already signed.”
I look at my brother. He’s silently fuming and panicked. Again, I want to ask if he loves one of them, but I know better.
“So, in other fucking words, J is a fucking married man, huh?” Dad doesn’t say anything. Liam looks at me. I hold his angry gaze. “Well, congratulations.”
“Liam,” I sigh but he opens the door in a rush and bangs it shut behind him, leaving nothing but silence in the room.
“I’m not marrying some Bishop girl,” I state, staring at my father meaningfully.
“I knew you’d say that.”
“And I also didn’t kill anyone,” I mutter after a while of tense silence.
“We know,” Dad says with a sigh. “But now, the situation is fucked. We need a solution, and we need it before they come after my son and bring out the fucking worst in me.”
I stare at my father, holding his gaze. Then I glance at Cole. He nods once, then excuses himself, leaving Dad and me in the room.
“We need to talk,” I say after a moment of silence. “About the future.”
And here it goes.
Chapter Twenty
Mia
When I come to again, I can hear someone crying. My hand feels warm and wet. I’m pretty sure someone is holding my hand while crying…
“Oh, my baby.”
Nicky!
I hear her sniffle, her grip on my hand becoming tighter as she holds it. I want to open my eyes. I want to see her, but… I can’t seem to be able to open my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” she whispers, her tears falling faster on my hand now.
I feel my hair being swept back in a smooth, soft gesture that melts my heart. It’s so loving and so heartbreakingly familiar that I start to realize Nicky has always been there for me.
I’ve spent so much time being bitter and angry with her for seemingly lying to me about her status as my mother when I should’ve been grateful. Suddenly I want to tell her all that, I want her to know that I forgive her and that I’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass but, I can’t make a sound.