“How do you know I have options.”
“The staff talks, Mia. There’s been a pool with your name on it for at least two years now.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” she says with a small smile on her face. “You might want to visit your English lit teacher before you leave.”
Ah yes, Mrs. Henry. The woman who literally pushed me to apply to all the colleges and because of that today, I’m able to do this. Leave high school and go where Nancy always wanted me to go because she believed—like Mrs. Henry—that I was wasting my time with high school.
A sharper pang goes through my chest. For a split second, I feel like someone just plunged a sharp spiral knife in my side and now the look she’s giving me is the hand that twists the damn thing inside.
“You know what, I will do pass and see her.” And I don’t care who sees me.
When I walked through the doors of Clintwood Academy just now, I knew what to expect.
I was prepared for the judgment, for the way the everyone was going to stare and point.
I knew they would whisper about me, their eyes bright with mirth, everyone hungry for gossip, desperate for bits of overexaggerated news about me and Julian and how I might have singlehandedly destroyed his future.
“Well, while you’re here, Mia, I have to say, I’m sorry high school wasn’t so great for you in the end.”
My head snaps up to look at her, but she’s looking dead straight at her computer, not looking at me.
“What do you mean?” I mutter.
“I’m sure you already know that I walk the hallways every third period. I hear what students say and well, your recent publicity was too extreme, even for me. It wasn’t fair on you.”
What do I say to that? High school was… a trip for me. It had good times but looking back now, all I remember were the times Roxy pointed out, the times I was looking forward to seeing Julian.
Everything that involved Julian excited me. It gave me a rush. It gave me something to look forward to besides feeding Nancy, rushing to the drug store to get her meds and helping her dress up, move around and everything else that happened.
I don’t even really remember the shitty stuff. I can’t recall anything else I cared about in high school besides Julian Fitzgerald.
That guy stormed through my life and held it tight in his clenched fist that nothing else mattered. And now, he hasn’t reached out to me or called since leaving me all but shivering with those last words.
“Well, Principal Bailey, it’s just high school. You just have to hang on.”
“You did more than hang on, Mia. You ruled,” she says, finally looking at me again. “But I have to ask Mia, isn’t it a bit too late to commit to a college now?”
“That’s where that second favor comes in, where you call one of the many schools on my list and ask them ever so nicely to take me.”
“I’m just a high school principal, Mia, I don’t have that much power.”
“Oh, but you do, Principal Bailey,” I say, tilting my head to the left. “You’re a powerful woman. You sit on the board of many companies and even organizations that help girls get an education all over the world. You have buck in your bank.”
Though I doubt we’d need that.
“You did your homework.”
“I’ve been thinking of this for a long time.”
“I can see that,” she says silently, still studying me. “Just tell me why now. I mean you could have just come back to high school and completed your senior year.”
Yeah, I could’ve done that but then what?
There’s nothing for me here anymore. It’s a truth I’ve been dodging for a while, but it’s finally caught up with me now.
“I need a fresh start,” I say, holding her gaze. “So will you help me or not?”
After passing through Mrs. Henry’s class and giving her a big hug in front of a gasping, shocked class of juniors, I open the passenger door and get in with a small smile on my face.
“I’m guessing from the look on your face, everything worked out?” Nicky says softly, starting the car.
“Everything is going to work out just fine,” I say instead, looking out at the beautiful school grounds of Clintwood Academy, this time for the last time. I took the view for granted over the years, but now, I can see how beautiful it is. How grand Palos Verdes is and how the people here are well, shitty.
I don’t need that anymore.
“Are you sure about this?” Nicky asks for the millionth time. I leave over and give her a tight hug, feeling the pressure in my chest squeeze just a little bit. I don’t know why I hurt all over, but I know, this is the right decision.
“I’m sure, Mom,” I whisper. She looka devastated and that cracks my heart.
“Hey, don’t be sad, Mom,”
“Well, I’m trying my best not to be, baby girl,” she says. “I mean, I just got you back and now…”
“I know it’s unfair, but I just…”
“Need some fresh air,” she mutters. “I understand sweetheart.”
She pulls out of the parking lot and soon, Clintwood Academy is in the rearview mirror. I don’t even bother looking back. There’s nothing back there for me.
“You know what,” Mom starts. “Why don’t we go grab some stuff that you might need.”
“You mean a shopping spree?”
“I’m employed baby, so why the hell not?” she says. The thing about her is when she’s excited about something, she has a childish joy about her that radiates on her beautiful face. I loved that about my aunt when I was younger and now that I know who she really is to me, I appreciate it more.
“How does it feel?” I ask.
“What?”
“Being part of the labor force?”
She throws her head back and laughs.
“Oh Mia, I had my first job in an ice-cream parlor when I was fifteen. Nancy was dancing twenty-four seven. Our father was gone and Mom, well, she had taste for the finer things in life but would rather die than earn her keep. She found all work demeaning.”
I listen to her voice, realizing that I don’t really know much about her.
“Yeah, let’s go shopping and tell me more about your crazy childhood with Aunt Nancy,” I say, looking at my beautiful mother. She glances at me, her hair blowing with the slight breeze wafting in the car from my open window.
“Sweet Nancy,” she whispers. “She was my rock. She protected me and never once complained. I knew you were in good hands with her.”
We’re silent for the rest of drive, cruising downtown. Before I know it, we’re in L.A. She navigates her way to my favorite mall and the next thing I know, we’re in Nordstrom.
It’s then that I see where I get my fashion sense. We almost have the same taste and the same opinions on everything. We move from one store to the other, trying on sunglasses too big for our faces and fancy church lady’s hats. In one store, we come across these impossibly high stilettos. Out of nowhere, all the times I’ve spent talking to Cole jumps up and I make a bet with her. If she can walk the entire floor and back with the heels on, I’d let her help me move in my new place.