So this would be it. A heart-stopping memory. And nothing more.
“So I guess I’ll see you around then,” she said. “I’m sure there will be another wedding soon.”
He smiled and stood up. There was a flicker of something bittersweet in his expression before it disappeared behind his typical cool composure. “Absolutely. There’s always another wedding.”
“For people who aren’t us.”
“Exactly.”
She nodded. She felt kind of strange but basically good. She could do this. It didn’t have to be a big mistake. “Okay. Well, drive safe going home.”
He gave one of those soft huffs of laughter that he did a lot around her. “I always do.”
“Okay. Bye then.” She thought about getting up and walking him to the door. Maybe that was the normal thing to do. But it felt awkward. She felt better staying right where she was.
“I’ll lock the front door behind me,” he said before he walked out of the room.
Then he was gone. She listened and heard the front door close. Then his SUV start up and drive away.
He’d left. Her one-night stand was over.
It was too late (or early) to message any of her friends and tell them about it. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to spill. So instead she lay back down on the bed, hugged her knees to her chest, and giggled privately.
The night definitely hadn’t turned out the way she’d expected.
five
ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON, Amanda was trying on another bridesmaid dress.
Weddings—like babies—seemed to happen in clusters. Her good friends were mostly those she’d made at school, so they were all around her same age. Most of them had gone to college and/or grad school and started careers for themselves. But they were all approaching thirty now, and it seemed to be the year when they were deciding it was time to get married.
Not her. She hadn’t had a date since her one-night stand with Robert five weeks ago. Her dry period wasn’t because of him. Of course not. She knew exactly what their night together meant, and she wasn’t foolish enough to expect or hope for anything different. It was only because she hadn’t been asked out by a guy she had any interest in.
She wasn’t holding out for Robert. He’d sent her a text the day after that night, saying he’d had a good time and he appreciated everything she’d given him. She’d been surprised and touched by the note and had worked on her response for a ridiculously long time, making sure she sounded sincere but also not too clingy or naive. But she hadn’t heard from him since.
It was fine.
It was all good.
It was just as well.
She didn’t want Robert for anything but sex anyway.
Currently she was a bridesmaid for another of her school friends, and they were out in Azalea at Ri’s bridal shop for the final fitting before the wedding.
This wedding was more casual. Outside in a garden. The dresses were fun and flirty in a lovely dusky pink with a wide, twirly skirt. Maybe they were over-the-top girly, but Amanda didn’t care. It was the best dress she’d ever had as a bridesmaid.
She gave a silent, happy squeal as she spun around in front of a multipaned mirror. The dress made her look lush and curvy, and the color was great with her skin and hair.
“I love it!” she said, turning around to face Ri, who had on a duplicate of the same dress.
“I do too. I think they’re gorgeous.” Ri came over to stand beside her, spinning in front of the mirrors the way Amanda had. “Yours looks perfect. Is it too tight in the boobs?”
“No. I don’t think so. It feels right. Is it pulling weird?”
“No.” Ri gave the fabric a few tugs and nodded in satisfaction. “It’s great. What I’d do for boobs like yours.”
Amanda laughed. “Oh please. I wished all my life for perfect legs and long slim bones like yours so I’d look as good in clothes as you. We all see our own imperfections. I don’t know why we do that to ourselves.”
“Me either. But we definitely do.” Ri turned around as Serena came out of the second dressing room, wearing her own version of the dress. “Gorgeous, Serena!”
“It’s so pretty.” Serena flounced the skirt around. “It’s not terrible with my red hair, is it?”
Amanda replied, “No. It’s stunning. People who say redheads can’t wear pink don’t know what they’re talking about.”
“Okay. Good. I know we already tested it out when Shelly was choosing the dresses, but I kept visualizing the wrong shade of pink and getting worried. Keith said I was being stupid, that Shelly wouldn’t have picked the color if it was horrible for me, but of course I didn’t believe him.”
“Well, Keith was right. Shelly isn’t petty or selfish, and the color looks great.”
The three of them preened and twirled in the mirror for a little while, and Ri made a couple of adjustments to Serena’s bodice. Then they went to take off the dresses and change into their regular clothes.
When Amanda came out, Ri had poured them all glasses of prosecco, so they sat down in the store’s fancy rose-colored chairs to chat.
Serena told them a story about a guy she’d met at the gym who kept asking her out until she finally told him she’d committed to five years of celibacy just to get him to stop.
“It’s not even entirely untrue,” she said. “I haven’t had sex since my divorce. It’s been almost two years. The truth is I don’t miss it that much.”
Ri giggled. “I don’t blame you for not missing sex with your ex-husband. But a few orgasms occasionally are nice.”
Serena rolled her eyes. “I can give those to myself. I’m far happier that way. I’m really not at all interested in getting stuck with another man.” In an obvious attempt to change the subject, she asked, “What about you, Amanda?”
“What about me?”
“Are you going the celibate route too?”
“No, I’m not.” Amanda frowned. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because you’ve mentioned three different guys in the past month who asked you out, and you said no to all three. I thought that lawyer was cute, and he seemed pretty nice.”
“He was. I just wasn’t very interested.” Amanda felt a little uncomfortable. Put on the spot. Which was ridiculous because the questioning was friendly and natural. “I don’t know. I haven’t been in the mood for dates lately.”
“Why not? It’s not still Dave, is it? Because I really thought you were getting over that.”
“I am over it! Totally over it. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”
“That’s what I thought. So what is it that’s holding you back?” Serena’s green eyes were wide and innocent. She clearly had no underlying suspicions about the answer to her question.
Ri, however, did. “Is there maybe someone else who keeps distracting you from other men?”
Serena straightened up. “What? Is there? Who is it? And why didn’t you tell me before?”
“There’s nothing to tell! Seriously. There’s no other guy.” Amanda’s cheeks were flushing, and she hated that. She only seemed to blush with or about Robert, and it was the most infuriating thing.