It was the wrong thing to say, reminding me of his connection to Val, of how he failed her like I’d failed her so far. Even knowing that he was gay, the thought of him kissing Val, of touching her sent a spear of jealous rage through me. I smiled and he began shaking. “Val won’t ever find out, now will she?”
Antonio swallowed, his eyes darting to my Enforcer. If he hoped for help, he was very mistaken.
“You will tell me everything I want to know, every little detail, about this coup, about your fellow conspirators. But first… about Val.”
Antonio’s eyes widened.
I had Raffaele to torture for information on the conspiracy, but Antonio was the only one who could help me understand my wife, the very essence of her being, and maybe my conflicting emotions for her.
* * *
I changed clothes before I returned home. The house was eerily silent when I stepped inside. Taft was in his guardhouse and Zita and Gabby must already have gone home. I headed up the staircase in search for Valentina. After the picture Antonio had painted about my wife, my guilt set even heavier on my shoulders. Val was a good woman, trying to help the people she loved with everything she had.
The sound of running water drew me into the bathroom and the sight before me broke through the dark clouds the torture had plastered over my soul. Val cowered in the shower, her legs pulled tightly to her chest as water rained down on her. Her hair was plastered to her shivering body. I stalked toward her and turned off the water, surprised to find it hot when Valentina’s goosebumps suggested she was cold.
I couldn’t explain what I felt looking down at my broken-hearted wife, at her anguish and sorrow. The tortured cries of Antonio and Raffaele had done nothing to me but my wife’s state tore at me.
I picked Valentina up and lifted her into my arms, feeling her shake against me. I wanted to protect her from all evil in this world, but the greatest of all evil were my own demons.
I set Val down, but she clung to me even as I dried her with a towel. She surprised me by burying her face in my neck, shuddering.
“Oh God,” she whispered.
I lifted her once more and carried her over to the bed where I gently put her down before I stretched out beside her. Val’s breathing was coming in harsh gasps, her eyes darting back and force as she succumbed to shock. I touched her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. “Shh, Val. It’s okay.”
“I killed him,” she croaked over and over again.
“Val, look at me.”
She did and the sorrow in her green eyes stirred emotions in me I hadn’t felt in a long time. “You did what was right. You did what you had to do to protect me. I won’t ever forget it. Never.” I stroked her cheeks, meaning every word. Despite how horrible of a husband I’d been for Valentina, she’d chosen me.
“I told you that you could trust me.”
“I know, and I do.”
“Did you get the names of the other traitors?”
I nodded. “Yes. I’m fairly sure. Enzo and a few others are taking care of the less important rats right now.”
“What…what did you do to Antonio?”
“He’s dead, Val.”
“I know, but what did you do to him?”
“If it’s any consolation for you, I focused my main attention on Raffaele. Antonio got a quicker death than any other traitor.” It wasn’t a lie. Raffaele suffered even more, but it wasn’t the truth Valentina had asked for. It was the one she deserved. She needed to be happy and I wouldn’t burden her with Antonio’s cruel death.
“Thank you.”
I regarded her pale face, her trembling lips, her wide eyes. “Val, you’re worrying me.”
Val kissed me, tasting of tears and her very own enticing sweetness. My brows pulled together, not sure what to make of her behavior. “Please,” she whispered. “Make love to me. Just today. I know you don’t love me. Pretend, just for tonight. Hold me in your arms for once.”
I had been fueled by self-hatred when I’d dealt with Antonio and Raffaele, but that was nothing in comparison to what I felt now. I deserved tenfold of the pain I’d caused them.
“God, Val,” I rasped and kissed her.
I shoved my self-hatred aside and focused on giving Val what she deserved, what I wanted to give her. For the first time, I allowed myself to take my time kissing Val, to pour my own need into her. Val softened under my touch as I caressed her shoulder, her arm and side, doing what I should have done the first time I’d taken her.
I got rid of my shirt and hugged Val to my chest, stroking her hair and kissing her face. I took my time stroking every inch of her smooth skin until I finally slipped my hand between her legs, finding her wet but not as aroused as usual. After a few minutes of kissing and caresses, Valentina was writhing beneath me and my own need called loudly to me, but I didn’t let it deter me. This wasn’t about my own desires. This was about my step toward redemption, redeeming myself toward my wife in the only way I was capable of at the moment. I undressed and molded our bodies together. I slid into Valentina slowly, watching her face closely, taking pleasure in the way her lips parted and she moaned.
I cupped her face, locking gazes before I started to move.
And this felt like a piece of my heart, which had been shattered at Carla’s death, molded together, as if I could finally let the past drop, step for step, and allow Valentina into my heart where she belonged.
She was a beautiful, kind woman, one I didn’t deserve, but I swore to myself to be a better husband, a better man for her.
“I should have made love to you before,” I rasped, and my heart lurched realizing this was exactly that. Lovemaking. I was falling for Valentina. My body and heart were unable to resist her, and I’d fought this useless battle for far too long.
PART EIGHT
During an early morning meeting with my captains—minus Tommaso who hadn’t showed up—to discuss the traitor situation, my phone rang. It was one of the men I’d sent out to check on Tommaso. “Did you find him?”
“He’s dead. We found him only in his underpants on the living room floor of his house. His wife freaked out on us.”
“Where’s she now?”
“Still in hysterics in the kitchen.”
“Take her to her parents.”
I hung up then called the doc and send him over to take a look at the body. I knew what he’d find. I’d never asked Val to hand over the vial with poison that Antonio had given her. She must have given it to Bibiano so she could kill her husband.
Giovanni, Rocco and my Captains regarded me curiously. “Tommaso’s been found dead.”
“Did the traitors kill him?” Giovanni asked.
“We don’t know yet. Let’s postpone this meeting. We discussed the most important aspects of the matter. I need to deal with this.”
I stood and everyone did the same.
I walked out of Rocco’s office and crossed the entrance hall. Steps rang out behind me. I turned. Rocco. “Did Antonio or Raffaele reveal plans to kill someone else?”
I gritted my teeth as I considered my reply. It would cast suspicion on Bibiana if Tommaso’s death couldn’t be linked to the coup. Val would be absolutely heartbroken if something happened to Bibiana. I wouldn’t hurt her. But she’d be shunned. She’d have to leave our circles at the very least, cast out from everything she knew.