“You too. I need you to be safe too.”
I tightened my hold on her, not saying anything. My safety was irrelevant as long as my family remained untouched. I’d lay my life down if it protected them.
Valentina
This morning, Anna’s laughter had rung in my ears, now I had to watch my daughter curled up in the narrow bed in the safehouse, dressed in foreign pajamas. Her hair was still in her pretty wedding updo. She’d refused to let it down.
Tears burned my eyes. They had all day, and it became a harder struggle containing them with every passing moment. Taking a deep breath, I walked toward the bed and sank down on its edge. I touched Anna’s neck, feeling the pins in there.
Anna sobbed into her pillow, completely shaken. I wished she hadn’t been witness to the chaos, the panic and Ines’ and Sofia’s open sorrow, wished I could have protected her from the harsh realities of mob life. I wanted to preserve her and Leonas’ childhood for as long as possible. Now it had ended far too soon.
Anna turned her head slightly, peering up at me with terrified eyes. “Mommy…”
I leaned down and kissed Anna’s temple, tasting her tears. Her anguish felt worse than my own. “Can I take your pins out? You can’t sleep with your hair up like that.”
It was such a meaningless thing to worry about.
Anna nodded then buried her face in the pillow once more. I began to remove one pin after the other until Anna’s brown hair fanned out on her back. I raked my fingers through the curls, trying to calm myself as much as my daughter.
A creak made my head turn. Leonas stood in the doorway, dressed in too big sweatpants and a T-shirt, his hair standing on end. He looked a little lost. Sometimes he appeared older than his seven years, but today he was the little boy I wanted him to remain for as long as possible. “Is your dad home yet?” I asked.
Leonas shook his head and came inside hesitantly, his green eyes darting to his sobbing sister. He stopped at the end of the bed, watching Anna cry with a wary expression as if Anna’s tears were something contagious.
I stroked her hair almost mechanically.
I held out my other hand to Leonas but he stayed where he was. He reminded me of Dante when it came to dealing with emotions and his problems. He tried to solve them on his own.
It was way past midnight and considering that we’d been awake since sunrise we should have been tired but neither of us craved sleep.
“Can I play poker with Taft and Enzo? They told me I need to ask for permission.”
“You sure you don’t want to stay here?”
Leonas looked at Anna then at me and gave a jerky shake of his head. “I want to play poker.”
“Okay, then do that.” Everyone dealt differently with trauma. If distraction was Leonas’ balm then I wouldn’t stop him. He left quickly and I turned back to Anna then stretched out beside her. She lifted her head slightly to look at me. “Mommy, will they kidnap me as well?”
“No,” I said fiercely. “No, they won’t. You will always be safe. Always.”
Anna nodded. “Is that why Daddy insists I am homeschooled?”
Dante and I had actually considered sending Anna to the same private school Leonas went to at the start of the new school year in a few weeks. It was meant as a surprise for her. Now I wasn’t sure if we’d go through with it. I actually wished Leonas could be homeschooled as well, but Dante wouldn’t budge on that. “Yes.”
Anna bit her lip. “I feel so bad for Sofia. I’d be terrified if someone hurt Leonas.” I touched her head.
“Will they hurt Serafina badly?”
For Anna ‘they’ were a general concept, some shapeless enemy who wanted to hurt us. She didn’t know it was the Camorra or what they stood for. She couldn’t imagine the horrors that might await Serafina at the hands of those monsters. How long would those fears remain shapeless concepts for my daughter?
Anna fell asleep eventually and I slipped out of her room. I didn’t want to sleep, worried about letting down my guards without Dante near. I crept down the corridor toward the bedroom where Ines and Sofia were. I knocked gently.
“Come in,” I heard Ines’ raspy voice.
I stepped inside. Sofia was huddled in a blanket on an armchair, staring blankly down at a book while Ines peered out of the window which gave her a view of the driveway.
Waiting for her husband and son to bring her daughter back to her.
The room oozed anguish. Sofia briefly glanced up but didn’t smile.
I stopped beside Ines, following her gaze toward the lit driveway. Several guards walked the perimeter with machine guns.
“I don’t think any form of torture can be worse than this,” she whispered. I regarded her profile. Even tear-stained, with messy hair and in jeans Ines carried the famous Cavallaro pride with ease. It was something I’d always admired. “It feels as if someone’s burning my heart. Just thinking of what Serafina is going through…” Her voice died and I could see her struggle to keep her composure.
She finally looked at me. “This war must end, Val. It must end now. Too many people have paid with their lives already and now it’s my daughter’s life on the line. I won’t stand back. Tell Dante to make a peace treaty with the Famiglia and the Camorra. Let there be peace before it’s too late. There’s enough money to be made for each famiglia.”
“After what Luca and Remo did, Dante won’t have peace with them. It’s a matter of pride.”
“Pride.” Ines leaned her forehead against the window. “We must give them what they want. We must save Fina. We must.”
“Ines—”
“Can you please leave?”
I took a step back. “Of course.” Sofia lowered her gaze to her book, avoiding my eyes. I turned and left the room. For a moment, I braced myself against the wall outside the room. With every act of violence on either side, peace was more unlikely.
I headed downstairs into the big communal space where several guards were playing poker with Leonas. It was a strange sight, my young son perching on his chair, with all the armed, muscled men around him. His expression was focused and determined as he scanned his cards. The men were drinking coffee or Coke, and Leonas, too, had a glass of the sugary concoction in front of him. I usually didn’t allow our children to drink it except for New Year’s or their birthday but today wasn’t the time for rules.
Enzo’s brown eyes slid to me and he got up. The rest of the men were about to do the same but I quickly raised my palm to stop them.
“Please continue. I can’t sleep. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“You aren’t,” Enzo said. He sank back down and gave the other men a sign to continue. “You can join us if you want.”
That earned him a few surprised looks from the other guards.
Leonas snorted. “Mom can’t play poker. She’s a woman.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Excuse me?” I strode over to the table. “I’m a good poker player. I used to manage a Casino.”
The men exchanged amused glances as Leonas’ eyes widened. “You did?”
“Yes. Are you playing Texas Hold ’em?” It was the only form of poker I was good at.