I threw an indignant look over my shoulder. “You—“
My insult died in a cry when Matteo slammed into me. He leaned over me. “I’m going to fuck you now, Mrs. Vitiello.”
And good Lord, he did. My hips banged against the marble as he slammed into me over and over again, his balls slapping against my ass. I clutched the edge of the island, needing something to hold on to. Matteo’s grip on my hips was bruising. My core clenched, and I screamed out my release, almost passing out from the force of it. Matteo followed shortly after, and then I lay in a boneless heap over the marble counter, breathing harshly. Matteo kissed my cheek.
“I hated seeing that bastard put his hand on your ass,” Matteo murmured.
“I know,” I said. “I just wish not every other of our dance nights would end with you in trouble.”
“I like trouble, which is why I like you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Like?”
“Fishing for compliments?”
I jerked my ass back and clenched around his cock. He hissed then chuckled. “All right, babe, I love you.”
I sighed, hardly mollified, considering he’d called me by the name I hated the most.
“I’m never going to clean my knife again.” He nuzzled my neck.
“Just don’t cum in your pants next time you stab someone.”
“Hmm. That’s going to be hard knowing I’m cutting someone down with your pussy juice on my knife.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe I was as twisted as Matteo. We really were a perfect pair.
CHAPTER TWO
Gianna
For a long time, I stared down at the pregnancy test, unable to trust my eyes. We were supposed to leave for the Hamptons in exactly two hours but I wasn’t sure I could move. I’d done the test out of paranoia. I was only one day overdue, nothing to get worried about, but I had a stash of tests in the bathroom.
“Gianna?” Matteo called.
I swallowed, my fingers on the test tightening further. “I’m here.” I didn’t recognize my voice. It was weak and stunned.
I hadn’t taken the pill in over a year because it wreaked havoc with my body but I’d used a pessary or condoms. Over the year we’d been too horny for contraception about a handful of times but my OB/GYN had told me that my chances of getting pregnant naturally were minimal. I’d been relieved back then. It had seemed like a sign that my body was as against having kids as my brain.
Minimal chances.
Still the second line on my pregnancy test mocked me with its intensity.
Matteo pushed the door open and found me sitting on the edge of the bathtub.
“Why are you hiding in here?” he asked as he stepped in, then his eyes settled on the test in my hand and he froze.
“Gianna?”
I met his gaze. “I’m pregnant.”
Matteo searched my eyes. His expression didn’t give anything away as if he was waiting for my reaction. “You’re not happy.”
“Of course, I’m not,” I whispered harshly. “We don’t want children.” I paused because Matteo actually didn’t look unhappy. “Or do you?”
Matteo shrugged. “I always thought we didn’t need kids to be happy. But I like being around Luca’s kids, so being around my own might be even better.”
I scrunched up my face and shook my head. “It won’t. With other people’s kids you only get to do the fun things, and when it gets tough you can give them back, but this baby, it’ll be our responsibility… I never wanted that. I still don’t.” I cringed at how horrible that made me sound, but it was the truth.
Voicing it aloud, I felt guilty but I needed to say it. Matteo needed to know. He was the one person who would understand. Right?
Matteo came toward me and crouched before me, looking up at me. He took the test and laid it to the ground, then he touched my cheek. “It’s still early in the pregnancy,” he murmured. I knew what he was saying without saying it. His brown eyes were so full of understanding and love that my heart clenched tightly with gratefulness. In the beginning, I’d thought Matteo didn’t deserve me because he was a bad man but now, I often felt like I was the one who didn’t deserve him.
I swallowed. “Will you be okay with it?”
Matteo smiled wryly. “Gianna, I’m a killer.” Despite his attempt to sound flippant, I caught a hint of strain in his voice.
I tensed. “So you think we’re killing the baby?”
He frowned. With a groan he pushed to his feet and pulled me with him, wrapping his arms tightly around me. “That’s not what I meant,” he said firmly. “What I meant is that I can deal with anything. I’ll be at your side no matter what you decide.”
“It’s not only my decision. This is your child too.”
Something flickered in Matteo’s eyes. “It is. But it is your body. You’ll have to carry a child for nine months, you’ll have to go through labor, and you’ll be the one the baby will need the most in the beginning, so really it should be your choice.”
I was grateful for Matteo’s support, but for once I wished he would tell me what to do, would take the decision off my hands, so I wouldn’t be burdened with the full weight of my responsibility. “Everyone will hate me if I… if I end this pregnancy. Or hate me more.” Because my fan club was fairly small while my haters were in the majority among the Outfit and the Famiglia. I knew it and usually I didn’t care. Trying to please everyone was a losing game and I’d never tried but now, now I was terrified of their judgment.
Matteo regarded me closely. “Our family will understand.”
“Will they?” I asked. Luca and Aria loved their children. They would never get rid of a baby, nor would Lily and Romero. Our world was a traditional one. Not that there wasn’t abortion. If a child was created out of wedlock, abortion was fairly common. But Matteo and I were married, and he still needed an heir in the eyes of his fellow Made Men.
“It’s none of their business anyway. We don’t have to tell them,” he said. “We never cared about other people’s opinions. We shouldn’t start now. Fuck them all.”
I nodded. That was probably for the best. But I knew I’d be devastated if Aria and Lily condemned me for my choice. Other people’s judgment I could deal with but my sisters… “I don’t want to be a mother.”
“Okay,” Matteo said quietly. His brown eyes brimmed with understanding but I couldn’t help but wonder if he hid part of his feelings from me.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to hate me for it.”
“Gianna,” Matteo said roughly, cupping my cheeks. “I could never hate you, and this is our choice. I won’t blame you.”
I took a deep breath. “Will you accompany me to the appointment?”
Matteo kissed me gently. “Of course, Gianna. I’ll be there for you.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his chest. I waited for relief to set in now that we’d come to a decision but the uncertainty, the fear, the doubts remained. Maybe it would take time to come to terms with everything. “How are we going to celebrate my birthday as if nothing’s wrong? How do we hide the truth from everyone?”