“You are right,” Gianna said. “When did you show?”
Aria pursed her lips. “At twenty weeks it was difficult to hide with Amo. But that’s because it was my second pregnancy. You’ll be pregnant in winter so coats and sweaters can cover up a lot. But your workout clothes won’t be able to hide a bump.”
Gianna nodded. “That’s what I thought.”
Aria exchanged a look with Luca. “How about we take it as we go? You keep on giving yoga and Pilates lessons for as long as loose shirts hide the bump, and wear loose clothes as much as possible. I’ll start doing the same. I can’t really wear a tight dress to our Christmas party when you are in your fifth or sixth month then, and would show.”
“I’d have never thought pregnancy means so much logistics,” I joked.
“It usually doesn’t,” Luca muttered.
“Well, Aria has experience hiding a pregnancy so I have faith we can keep it a secret,” I said, not able to hold back the jibe.
Luca’s eyes flashed, remembering the difficult beginning of Aria’s pregnancy with Marcella.
Aria sent Luca a warning look while Gianna did the same with me.
“We’ll get through this together as a family,” Aria said firmly.
“When should we tell Lily and Romero?” Gianna asked to change the topic. Clever girl.
“That’s really up to you. You could wait until you both are past the first twelve weeks…”
“Yeah. I hope she won’t be disappointed we didn’t confide in her before,” Gianna said.
“She’ll understand,” Aria assured her.
“Will we tell anyone else?”
Luca shook his head. “I don’t see why. Every person we involve is a risk.”
A risk to the biggest secret of all of our lives.
CHAPTER FIVE
Gianna
The first ultrasound showed that the baby’s heart was beating. It was strange to see the pulsating thing on the screen. I was relieved that there wasn’t much more to see yet. There wasn’t a baby to speak of yet. I’d worried a little person would stare right back at me. It made things easier. As long as the kid looked like an undistinguishable black-and-white blob in the ultrasound and I didn’t feel it, I could pretend I wasn’t really pregnant—except for the few amendments to my lifestyle.
In the week following my appointment, Lily surprised me when she showed up in the Famiglia women gym. She hadn’t worked out these last four weeks, probably because of the pregnancy. She’d mentioned something about some light bleeding. Like me she wore yoga tights and a loose-fitting yoga tank, not that either of us showed yet. It was actually quite informative to see her since she was a week ahead of me, and always gave me a glimpse of what lay ahead. Her dark blond hair was piled atop her head in a messy bun just like mine.
“Hey stranger,” I called across the yoga room as Lily slid her wool socks off and padded toward me barefoot. We hugged before we both sank down on the round yoga pillows. The yoga lesson wasn’t about to begin for another fifteen minutes, but I was always early to prepare everything.
“How are you?” I asked.
“Great,” Lily said, brushing her palm across her belly. It was something I’d often seen with pregnant women, especially if you asked them about their well-being. As if they always answered for two.
“Are you going to do yoga today?”
She nodded with a smile. “My doc cleared me for exercise. I want to keep doing something for my health.”
Lily had been a constant presence in my yoga classes from the very first day. Aria had been in the beginning but she preferred my Pilates classes so she switched to them later. “Perfect,” I said with a smile. Lily and I didn’t see each other as often as Aria and I did so I’d missed our weekly yoga sessions and chats afterward.
“But I might not be able to do everything. I have to be mindful of what my pregnancy allows. I’ll read up on it so I’ll know what I can’t do.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll give you alternative yoga exercises in case it’s necessary or you don’t feel comfortable,” I said, touching her leg.
Uncertainty crossed Lily’s face. “Are you sure you want to do that?”
It sounded like “are you sure you can do it?” to me, but I pushed my annoyance down. “Pregnancy adapted workouts were part of my training. Trust me, I can make sure you and your kid are safe.” It wasn’t even a lie. Knowing that many mob wives popped out one baby after the other, I’d made sure to be versed in the special needs of pregnant women or women recovering from birth. I didn’t mention that I’d read up on the matter again to make sure I kept the secret passenger in my belly safe until its delivery to Aria and Luca. For a moment, I considered telling Lily. But Lily, far more than Aria, had completely lost herself in being a mom. Sometimes it seemed there was hardly any room for anything else anymore. It was something that I’d always considered the most deterrent thing about becoming a mother—losing yourself and everything you used to be, as if by giving birth you lost every right to still have your own needs and interests.
Lily beamed at me. “Thank you!” Then her expression turned sheepish. “I’m sorry if I’m being annoying. I’m just so excited about my pregnancy. I can’t wait for Sara to have siblings.”
My eyes widened. “Siblings? Are you preggers with more than one?”
“Oh no.” Lily giggled, again caressing her flat belly. For some reason the motion made me unreasonably angry, which was completely irrational. “But Romero and I want at least three kids.”
I nodded, smiling tightly. I’d never minded Lily’s exuberance when it came to being a mom but for some reason, I had trouble being around it now that I was pregnant myself. Yet, I was determined not to vent my irrational feelings on Lily. She had every right to be happy and I wouldn’t ruin it.
* * *
Matteo and I sat at the bar in our kitchen, drinking coffee and chatting about Matteo’s plans to head out with Growl today to seek out a hiding place of the MC giving them trouble.
“Do you really have to join Growl?” I asked.
Matteo’s eyebrows rose. I wasn’t someone who clucked. I was more like the mother hen who kicked her eggs out of her nest. With Matteo I’d grown used to his thrill-seeking ways. “Are you worried?”
I was, and more than that, I was terrified. Matteo’s life was dangerous and while I’d worried in the past as well, I’d usually kept my feelings to myself, knowing that he could handle things.
I glared in response. Matteo grinned and wrapped an arm around my hip, dragging me closer so he could kiss me. “All these hormones are turning you into a softy.”
It was the first time we’d mentioned the pregnancy since my doctor’s appointment in my seventh week, which was more than four weeks ago. And even on that day our conversation about the pregnancy had only consisted of “Everything okay?” from Matteo and a curt nod from me. We’d kept living our life, minus the club visits and drunk escapades.
“Just be careful,” I pressed out. Matteo searched my eyes as he did so often recently, then nodded. “You know me.”