“I didn’t say anything,” she said, even though she had. “It’s your life. You don’t want anyone to tell you what to do. I have no choice but to accept it.”
“You’re right.”
Talia gave me an encouraging smile but I didn’t feel like telling Mom about my engagement now.
Eventually, we settled at the table and had dinner. Talia had started school again and found a couple of friends. Mom had more trouble, mainly because she wanted to make acquaintances among the higher-ranking mob wives, who still gave her the cold shoulder.
“Why don’t you give a few of the soldiers’ wives a chance? You’ll be lonely if you don’t have people to spend time with.”
Mom’s lips pinched. “We’ll see.”
That meant she’d keep schmoozing the Captains’ wives until the last shreds of her dignity were gone.
“I have something I’d like to tell you.” Talia bit her lip, twisting a strand of her brown hair around her finger nervously.
Mom slowly set her fork down.
“Ryan asked me to marry him and I said yes. We want to marry next spring.”
Mom blinked then she nodded as if this wasn’t news. She didn’t look angry, disappointed or happy. “I suspected something like that. It’s the logical choice given our current position. We’re not accepted by most people in the Famiglia so it’s impossible to find a better match for you, especially because you aren’t pure anymore. And your Growl is Enforcer under Luca. It could be worse.”
She made it sound as if Ryan was some kind of emergency solution, someone I’d chosen because I didn’t have a choice.
“I didn’t say yes because I thought I wouldn’t find a better match. I said yes because I love him and know that I can’t find a better man for me.”
Mom gave me a bitter smile. “I don’t blame you, Cara. I understand, believe me, and I accept your decision.”
Anger spread in my body, making my blood pound in my temples. “I didn’t ask for your approval, but we’re a family and I want us to stick together. I want Ryan to be a part of that family, for you to see him for who he really is, for who he has become.”
“He was Enforcer and now he’s Enforcer again, Cara. He’s doing what he does best.”
“You loved Dad despite what he did for work,” I reminded her because no matter how desperately she tried to pretend Dad had been a good man, that wasn’t the truth.
“That’s different.”
“Is it, really?”
Mom stood with a forced smile. “How about we have dessert now?”
Talia rolled her eyes, but I nodded. “Sure.”
Mom turned and hurried into the kitchen.
I sighed. “It’s the reaction I expected. I don’t know why I hoped for something else.”
Talia patted my hand. “She’s taking our new situation harder than us.”
“But we suffered all the same, yet we’re trying to move on.”
“She’ll learn to live with Growl.”
“What about you? You know you don’t have to be scared of him. He’d never hurt you. We’re his family now.”
Talia shrugged. “I don’t know him, but I know you and if you trust him then I know I don’t have to fear him.”
I leaned over and hugged her. “Thank you.”
Talia and I were closer now than we’d been before our father was killed. Maybe because I’d stopped being obsessed with pleasing society and my so-called friends, and because she’d become more mature. We’d both changed and now really appreciated each other.
* * *
“We could lock them in our bedroom,” Ryan said, but in his eyes, I could see his reluctance. I felt the same way. Coco and Bandit were part of our family. Locking them away felt wrong. As if Bandit knew what was going on, he pressed up to my leg. At nine, his black fur was slowly turning gray around his muzzle. He wagged his tail when I patted his back and soon Coco trotted my way, wanting her share of petting as well.
Mother would have to get used to them eventually. “Bandit and Coco will stay.”
I wasn’t sure who was more nervous about Talia’s and Mom’s visit, Ryan or I. It was strange seeing my tall, strong, inked-all-over fiancé nervous. It wasn’t very obvious, just subtle signs like him checking his watch for the hundredth time or glancing into the oven repeatedly to check on the roast I’d made. He usually didn’t have the slightest interest in cooking but today it seemed to calm his nerves.
“We’ll have a wonderful Christmas,” I assured him as I slid up to him and took his hand, leaning against his strong side.
He nodded, not saying anything. Ryan still wasn’t the talkative type, but the days leading up to our first Christmas together definitely reminded me of our early days as captive and captor, when he rarely spoke a word to me, much less opened up about his feelings.
I, too, was nervous. This was the first time Mom and Talia would visit us for dinner—on Christmas Eve no less. Talia had been over to our apartment on occasion when Ryan was home but Mom had only met him a couple of times at social events since she was in New York. She preferred to avoid him.
Ryan and I both kept busy with preparations while the dogs watched us curiously from their baskets. They were still weary of the newest addition to our apartment: a Christmas tree. This was the first time they encountered one, but I’d insisted we have it as part of our Christmas decoration.
The bell rang, making me jump. Coco perked up and Bandit jumped out of his basket with a deep woof before he trotted to the door. Coco followed him half-heartedly.
“You get the door,” Ryan said. “Your mother and sister will feel more comfortable if you greet them.”
I shook my head and grabbed his hand before I pulled him toward the entrance door. “You and I are together in this.”
He squeezed my hand briefly but his face was devoid of emotion. I put on my brightest smile and opened the door. Mother and Talia waited in front of it as if they were about to face their executioner. Luckily, Talia caught herself fast and stepped close to me for a hug.
“Is Mom going to make a mess of tonight?” I whispered.
Talia shrugged. “Probably.”
I pulled away and faced my mother. She stood frozen in the hallway, giving me a stiff smile but her eyes kept flitting to Ryan. I didn’t get any Christmas mood vibes from her.
“Hello Cara,” Mother said almost formally, clutching her purse in front of her belly like a shield.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Talia awkwardly shake Ryan’s hand. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen Ryan shake anyone’s hand at all. The sight almost had me bursting out laughing.
I invited Mom in but she was as stiff as a salt pillar, her eyes directed at Coco and Bandit who waited in the hallway behind us. Talia’s initial fear during her first visits had been replaced by tentative affection. She even stroked Coco’s back who was more approachable than Bandit. His trust issues with humans went deeper.
“It’s okay, Mom. They accept visitors as long as we do. They won’t do anything.”
I had to drag Mom inside and then I led her into the living area with the small dining table. I’d decorated everything in gold and red to give it a cozy feel. Bandit and Coco both headed toward their baskets after a sign from Ryan.