We got out at the very top of the skyscraper and stepped into a massive penthouse. Everything was white and glass and gold. “What is this?” I asked. It was furnished with black and grey design furniture. Everything was sleek and perfect.
“My apartment,” Growl said simply.
I froze on my way toward the floor-to-ceiling windows. “This is yours?” This apartment looked completely unused. And in the six weeks that I’d been with him, he’d never mentioned it to me. I startled. Had it really been six weeks? God. And at the same time six weeks seemed way too short a time span for everything that had happened.
Six weeks. Without my sister. She was fine, Growl had assured me. And my mother, I hadn’t seen her in so long.
“I got it a few years back,” Growl said, tearing me from my thoughts. “Falcone gave it to me as payment for a job well done, but I don’t use it.”
“If you have this,” I motioned around myself. “Then why are you living in that awful house? This place doesn’t look like you’ve ever set foot in it. There’s nothing that belongs to you.”
Growl gave me a strange look. “Because this isn’t who I am. The furniture was there when I got it and I never changed anything,” he said in his usual low rumble. “This is too…” His eyes searched the room. “Too noble for someone like me. It’s just not me.”
I stopped at the window and let my gaze wander over the Las Vegas strip stretching out below us. In the distance I could see the endless red desert. I preferred to live in a house, had always loved my old home and the garden, but everything was better than the shack Growl called home. “For someone like you?” I repeated his words.
Growl approached me slowly and followed my gaze. “And Coco and Bandit wouldn’t feel comfortable so high up. They’d miss their garden. Around here there’s nowhere I could walk them.”
I gave him a look but he avoided my eyes. There was something strangely vulnerable and out of place in Growl. Why did he feel so uncomfortable in a luxurious apartment? “It’s not like the area where we live is great for dog walks.”
Growl gave me a strange smile. “Bandit and Coco are used to places like that. They know how to handle drunkards and junkies, whores and the homeless. The people around here with their fake smiles, that’s something they can’t handle. People like that sent them into dog fights.”
“You know, there are places where normal decent people live. You compare one extreme with the other.”
“Normal,” Growl said quietly, testing the word. “I’ve never had normal.” He turned to me. “Can you imagine me among normal decent people?”
I didn’t say anything. Growl with his scary tattoos and scarred throat always drew attention to himself, and that was only his scary appearance.
He must have read my thoughts. He nodded. “Normal people wouldn’t want me in their neighborhood, they’d be scared of me. And the people around here, they don’t want me either because they, too, fear me.”
“Everyone fears you,” I said matter-of-factly. “Even the criminals and junkies in your area. If you want to live where no one fears you, you’ll have to move into wilderness.” It was meant as a joke, to lighten up the mood, but Growl nodded thoughtfully.
“Animals don’t fear me, only humans do. I’m a man-made monster, perhaps that’s why.” He took in our surroundings again. “Monsters aren’t meant for a palace like this.”
He thought he didn’t deserve to live in a nice place. Maybe along the way he’d started to believe what everyone said, that he was below everyone else, that he wasn’t worth anything. For some reason I felt for him, even though he didn’t deserve my compassion.
“You belong here,” Growl said quietly. “A princess in her tower.”
My lips parted in surprise. It wasn’t the first time he’d said something like that but it caught me by surprise every time.
“So why are we here?” I asked him.
“You hate the house,” he said simply.
“And?”
“We can live here for a while. It’ll make you feel better until I figure out the best day to go through with our plan.”
I was stunned into silence. Growl was really considering moving into this place because he wanted to see me happy. “Are you sure?” I wanted nothing more than to live here, in this bright place, away from the misery.
He nodded, but I could detect a hint of uncertainty.
“What about Bandit and Coco? You said it yourself, they need a yard. Will they get used to this?”
Growl brushed a strand of hair from my shoulder. “I’m away on business most of the time. I can take them with me. I’m often out in nature where they can run. And I won’t sell the house, so we can return there if we don’t want to stay here.”
I doubted that I’d ever want to return to Growl’s house. It wasn’t even because it was small and in a bad neighborhood. The place was filled with too much desolation; it seemed burnt into the walls and floors. There was no escaping it.
“I’d love to live here,” I admitted eventually. And I really did.
“We might not be living here for very long though. After we’re done with Falcone, we have to leave Las Vegas.”
I knew that, and after everything that had happened to me here, I wasn’t sad to leave my hometown. I wanted a new start. With Growl? A sharp voice inquired in my head. And part of me, wanted to say yes.
“I know, but even a few weeks or just days are good. I love seeing the horizon,” I said. I peered up at him. There was a soft edge to his expression, and I couldn’t help it. I’d never wanted him more than in that moment. I wasn’t sure if this was still part of the plan, if my actions toward Growl were still only intended to get him on my side, to reach my goal of revenge and safety for my family. I stood on my tiptoes, grabbed him by the neck and pulled him down to me for a deep kiss. He immediately responded. I pressed up against him and he grabbed my butt with one hand, squeezing. I started pulling at his clothes, and soon we were both naked, our hands roaming over every inch of uncovered skin. My body was aflame with need. Growl lifted me up and pressed my back against the window. I let out a surprised laugh. “Here?” I asked. He nudged my entrance with his length.
“It’s a nice view,” Growl said dryly.
I kissed him hard, and he pushed into me at the same time, making me gasp into his mouth. My back rubbed over the window as Growl pounded into me. Our eyes stayed locked on each other, and I got to see past the darkness, past the anger and violence, got to see the part of him he’d thought dead. And then we both came at the same time. Growl sank to his knees with me still wrapped around him. We both panted. My eyes sought out the Strip as I rested my chin on his shoulder, admiring the neighboring skyscrapers, the blue sky. “Is this reflecting coating?”
Growl shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
I leaned my forehead against the glass. “So someone could have watched us?”
“Do you care?”
“No,” I said. And it was true. A few weeks ago, this would have been impossible, but so much had happened since then that the idea of someone seeing me having sex wasn’t something that could ruin my day. Far from it.