“I know.”
His mouth twists in disgust. “And you’re okay with that?”
“Yes.”
He rips his hands through his hair. “You really are clinically insane,” he says through a sad, disappointed laugh. “You need mental help.”
I nod. He’s not wrong. But it doesn’t change how I feel.
“You’ll tell her.”
He holds up a hand. “Give me a minute. I need to think. You should sleep on it for a few days. If you still want to tell her—”
“You’ll tell her now. Today.”
“Or what? I’m fired, and that’s it?”
“Yes. Effective immediately.”
“You’re putting me in an impossible position!”
“I know.”
His eyes narrow, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was tearing up. “Do you want me to hate you?”
“No. But I’m sick of hating myself. Jordan makes me feel like there’s still something good in me. I’ve shown her all my flaws. All except this one. And I know once she knows, she’ll walk out of my life forever, and that’s better for her.”
“You want me to tell her so that you’ll be guaranteed to lose her?”
“She has to leave because I won’t willingly let her go. And if she stays, I’ll never stop hurting her.”
The job offer in Arizona is her chance to get free of me. She’ll never leave me unless she fully understands the kind of man I am. That I’m broken. That my temper could cost her more than hurt feelings. It could cost her her life.
“This is why you need to stick with professionals. You should’ve cut her out of your life the second you got on that helicopter. You know you can’t have normal relationships with women, Alex. What were you thinking?”
She made me feel like a normal man. More than someone with a genius IQ, worth more than what’s in my bank account, more than an emotional cripple that needs his brothers to look after him. But feelings can’t be trusted. I learned that lesson the hard way. I must never forget again.
And neither should she.
“I’ll, uh…” My gut clenches with what’s about to happen. “I’ll go get her.”
“Fuck.”
Eager to see her face, desperate to get a read on what she’s feeling, I take the stairs two at a time and knock softly on her door.
I hear shuffling from the other side, and my heart picks up its pace. A thump as if she’s resting her forehead against the door is followed by a sigh. “What do you want, Alexander?”
I put my palm on the door where I assume her head is resting. “I just want to talk to you. And tell you I’m sorry about last night.”
My words are met with silence, and I’m about to knock again when I hear the lock click. I step back to give her space, and when she opens the door, my breath catches in my throat. Her face is clean of makeup, her hair falls softly over her shoulders, and she holds the collar of her robe closed around her neck. Her eyes are bloodshot and the skin around them puffy as if she’d been crying all night. I feel that shit in my chest.
Her tired gray eyes meet mine. “So, talk.”
I take another step back and motion to the stairs. “Could you come down? Please.”
She nods, and I let her lead the way. I watch her pretty feet on the floor and have a thought that she’s leaving her footprints in my space and in my soul. The next thought I have is that this will be the last view of her I’ll get when she walks out of my life forever.
Her feet stop mid-step on the staircase. “What is he doing here?”
“I need you to talk to him.”
She whirls around, sending a wave of her scent washing over me, and I greedily breathe it in. “What is this all about? Are you going to try and pay me off again? Is that what this is?” She’s getting angry, and the last thing I want is for her to go into this conversation already suspicious.
“There’s something I want you to know, but I’m legally bound and can’t talk about it.” I nod toward Hayes, who looks like he’d rather get a colonoscopy than be where he is right now. “He can.”
She stares at Hayes for a second, then takes the last steps into the living room.
“You may want to sit down,” he says quietly.
Her worried eyes find mine, and she lowers herself to the couch. Her robe falls open to expose her long legs from the upper thigh down.
Hayes clears his throat. “Would you, um… be more comfortable if you, uh…” He motions to her legs. “Were dressed?”
“Oh.” She looks down as if just realizing she was wearing nothing but a robe. “I’ll be right back.”
She scurries from the room, and Hayes pleads with me again.
“You don’t have to do this. There has to be a better way.”
“There isn’t.”
“You’re being impulsive!”
“Maybe. But my mind is made up.”
He argues the same point he’s already argued, and I threaten his job again; round and round we go until Jordan emerges, wearing her leggings, sweatshirt, and crappy athletic shoes. She’s dressed to leave me.
Hayes eyes her as she reclaims her spot on the couch. “Do you want some coffee—”
“Just get to the point,” I bark, then reel in my impatience.
Her spine is straight as if she’s prepping for a hit to the gut.
My younger brother rubs his face and mutters a curse. He gives me one last pleading glance, and I nod for him to get on with it.
He drops onto the couch, his elbows on his knees. “What I’m about to tell you has the potential to ruin my family. Specifically, Alexander.”
Her worried eyes slide to me and back to Hayes.
“Ten years ago, Alex was in a relationship with a woman named Brandy. She seemed to be the perfect woman for him.” He scratches his jaw and shrugs. “Alex hosted a party at her favorite restaurant, and in front of friends and family, he asked her to marry him, and she said yes.”
I watch Jordan for any hint of discomfort, any reaction at all, but she’s frozen as the story unravels.
“They left the party together, and as soon as Alex pulled away from the restaurant, she took the ring off and told him she couldn’t marry him. You can imagine his surprise. He couldn’t understand why she would accept his proposal only to reject him hours later.” He sighs long and hard. “She said he put her on the spot by asking in front of people she cared about. Then she confessed to having been miserable with him and said that she’d never have let things get this far if it weren’t for the money.”
Every muscle in my body tenses at the memory. Her mocking laughter, the way she confessed the truth like she was spitting in my face.
“Brandy was hired by August. He’d had her on salary to be Alex’s girlfriend, thought a woman’s touch would cure Alex of his violent outbursts. August was also, as it turned out, taking Brandy into his own bed.”
Jordan gapes, then slams her mouth shut.
“Haven’t you ever wondered why Alex doesn’t drive?”
She doesn’t answer him, but her breathing quickens.
“Brandy went nuts in the car, started yelling at Alex, told him she was sleeping with August. She called him stupid and mocked him for being… different. She triggered his temper, and he lost it. He just wanted her to be quiet. Wanted to shut her up.”