“You don’t feel that you’re living a lie?”
She gave him a pensive stare. “How many times do you want to repeat your story? Is that even something everyone is entitled to? Being with people who share your tragedy is healing. But being around those who don’t is freeing. Maybe it’s not that way for everyone, but it is for me.”
When Matteo rose to his feet, the light seemed to embrace him. His eyes were as golden as the sun, his hair as dark and wild as the earth. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but she briefly wondered what her life might look like if she accepted his offer. Could she settle with a man who wasn’t her Breed? He was handsome enough, and he’d proven himself noble. But what would she do with herself in a cabin in the woods? Would that be enough?
No. It wouldn’t.
He offered her his hand, and she stood up. She got a crick in her neck looking up at him. His clothes were tattered, his dark beard sparse and long. She wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to hide under all that hair any more than she needed to cover her scars with shirts and sweaters.
He cupped her nape and gave her a sideways smile. “I hold no judgment against your choice, but I’ve done my best to prove myself a worthy male.”
“And you are worthy.”
“Just not worthy enough.”
She held his wrist. “Not for me. But someday you’ll be worthy enough for yourself.”
“Perhaps.”
“How will you get home?”
“The same way I got here,” he said enigmatically.
“You look like a nomad. You’ll never hitch a ride. If you walked, I can pay for a train ticket.”
He searched her eyes for a long while before lifting his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “You should tell him.”
“Tell who what?”
“Viktor.” He leaned in tight. “Do you think I can’t scent your feelings for him, female?”
Blue’s words caught in her throat as she looked at him.
Matteo stepped off the porch. “Should he ever be bold enough to court you, he’ll be a lucky male.” Matteo bowed. “My lady.”
Blue gripped a wooden post and watched the mysterious Chitah cross the parking lot and disappear into a blaze of sunshine. Matteo closed the door on a future with him, yet she couldn’t help but wonder if he hadn’t opened another door… just a crack.
Chapter 32
We stayed at Skulls for hours—well after sundown. The lights wrapped around the pergola created a warm ambience, as did all the beer. I cut myself off early on, knowing I’d be driving. I didn’t want to put Crush in an embarrassing situation. It got rowdy, as it usually did with my father’s buddies, but we had a good time. Even Christian loosened up and made a few friends. He still kept his shirt off. The whole night.
As did my father, for no other reason than to prove he didn’t give a damn what anyone thought about his less-than-perfect physique. Men were shameless.
I straddled the bench next to Christian and nibbled on his shoulder. He turned his head and gave me a heated gaze.
“You’re going to have to drive Blue home,” I informed him. “She’s wasted.”
He looked ahead at Blue, who was sitting cross-legged on a table, listening to a woman spinning a tall tale. “Aye, she’s a bit langered. But having a good time.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so relaxed.”
Christian waggled his brows. “My blood has that effect on people.”
“Why are you sitting here all by yourself?”
“No one wanted to arm wrestle.”
Our fingers curled and twined as if getting to know each other. I touched the onyx ring I’d given him and grinned like a fool.
Christian lightly smacked my arm. Quicker than a heartbeat, two angry men hoisted him to his feet, and you could cut the tension with a knife.
Christian held up his palm. “Jaysus wept. It was a fecking mosquito.”
I rose to my feet. “I think it’s time for us to head out. Let the Vamp go. He has permission to kill anything sucking on me.”
“Even himself?” a man growled.
That sent me into a fit of laughter.
“Havin’ a good time, are ya?” Christian asked me while shaking free from the men’s grip.
I found his shirt and tossed it at him. “You better go before you wind up on a spit.”
He slid on his shirt and then circled his arms around my waist. “Is that so, Precious? You’d watch them burn me on the fire?”
“I’d make sure they didn’t eat you.”
He playfully kissed my neck. “Pity. I’ve heard I’m quite delicious.”
“You better get Blue home before someone puts her on the karaoke machine.”
Christian sighed dramatically. “It’ll be a blessing to not hear the shenanigans of fifteen wee ones. Finally, I’ll have some peace and quiet.”
“Admit it—you’ll miss them.”
“Like I miss the plague.”
I glanced at a couple dancing by the roses. “I’m thinking of giving my pay to the other victims. Lenore’s taking care of the alphas, but I feel guilty about the rest.”
Christian frowned. “You can’t just be giving away all your money every time you have a job. You need to build your finances. That’s the only way to survive.”
“I know, but I feel shitty about the whole thing. After talking to Ren, I can’t stop thinking about all those people I lied to. Some of them lost children. Maybe they’ll accept a compensation package for sharing their stories, and if they don’t, I’ll donate their share to charity. Don’t judge me. I didn’t come from money, and I survived just fine. Sometimes it feels like we get paid too much for these jobs. I know I need to save it, and I do, but it feels wrong to keep it all. Even Viktor gives some of his away.”
“Fine, Mother Teresa. Just don’t come weeping to me in a hundred years because you can’t afford a hamburger.”
I tapped my foot against his ankle. “I’m a skilled scavenger, remember? I can talk any man out of his onion rings.”
His eyes twinkled with the memory of how we met. “You never stood a chance, Precious.”
“Not against the Lord of the Onion Rings. I’ll meet you back home.”
We fell into a deep, passionate kiss. His arm snaked around my lower waist, his hand cradled my neck, and I gave him all of me. Maybe I didn’t have much to give, but everything I had was his. My heart, my soul, my family, my friends, my past, my future, my secrets…
Well, maybe not all my secrets.
When our kiss simmered to a few lingering pecks, I fell back on my heels. People were staring, mostly women who undoubtedly wished their man would kiss them like that.
He caressed my cheek. “I’ll be on my way to take the drunkard home.”
“Keep the bed warm.”
That put a twinkle in his eye as he hurried off.
I found Crush, who was sitting at the end of a table, Harley at his side.
I patted the dog’s head as he licked my elbow. “I’m heading out.”
“This early?” a woman said in disbelief.
Crush chuckled. “Sometimes I wonder if she’s really mine.”