Her statement startles me. That’s a big deal.
“Yeah, right,” Georgia says, leaning back in her stool. “You and Silas are two peas in a pod.”
Lola drums her nails along her glass. “He’s been distant lately.” She flips her ebony hair over her shoulder before hunching forward. Her head drops—an attempt to hide the hurt flashing along her face.
I cringe. Lola has saved me from uncomfortable conversations countless times. It’s time I do the same for her.
“Finn knows who my baby daddy is,” I cry out.
All Lola and Silas talk are overrun by my confession. During Lola’s birthday brunch, I shared the mess that was my relationship with Gavin.
“He knows about Principal Jackass?” Georgia asks before snarling. “I can’t stand that asshole.”
“That makes two of us,” I grumble. “He keeps saying he wants to be with me.”
I haven’t told Finn about the many visits Gavin has paid to my classroom to tell me he was leaving his wife so we could be together. I don’t entertain the idea and always tell him I don’t care. He could leave his wife tonight, and I’d still want nothing to do with him.
Once a cheater, always a cheater in my book.
People can change—I’m well aware. But this man hid an entire marriage and family from me. He talks about his wife as if he has no respect for her, which is further proven by the cheating. I’d never trust Gavin, and he disgusts me. I hate that I ever allowed him to touch me.
The only man I want in my life, in my baby’s life, is Finn.
“You okay?” Finn asks from across the table. “Is it morning sickness? Should we add doughnuts to the list of shit that makes you nauseous?”
“God, no,” I grumble, wiping frosting from the edge of my mouth. “Thou shall not take a pregnant woman’s doughnuts unless they want a pregnant woman’s foot up their ass.”
Since moving in, Finn declared himself the master of breakfast. It was a meal he typically didn’t have, so he’s tried everything. He either makes me breakfast or takes me out. The breakfast process has been a lot of trial and error.
He made eggs. They made me nauseous.
Oatmeal? Baby isn’t a fan.
Bacon? Good ole bacon? I ran to the bathroom and puked.
Meat and dairy have become a thing of my non-pregnant past.
Now, all I want are foods dipped in ranch or taco sauce. I’m shocked I haven’t dipped this Long John into some ranch yet.
Even with my love of doughnuts, I’m surprised I’m not sick. Not because they’re gross. Nor is it because the baby isn’t a fan. It’s because today is an exciting one.
No more will I say the baby.
It’ll be he or she.
Today, I’ll find out the sex of my baby.
There’s always a rush of pent-up excitement when I think about it.
Nervous jitters—but good nervous jitters.
Then, that happiness balloon bursts.
It’ll be a good day but also a lonely one.
I’ll have no one next to me at the appointment to share the good news with. No one holding my hand as we stare at the screen with anticipation. I’ll be solo, a single mother.
Today’s news will change my life.
Faith offered to join me, but it’s parents’ day at Raven’s school. I’d feel terrible if Faith missed that because of me. I haven’t broken the news to my parents yet, so my mother tagging along isn’t an option either. I could ask one of my friends, but they’re busy. There’s also a twinge of embarrassment for bringing your best friend with you. It’s as if they’d immediately know no one else was in the picture.
I also haven’t asked them because I’ve been trying to build up the nerve to ask the man sitting across from me.
I shouldn’t be nervous. The man has had his tongue between my legs, and his cock has been in my mouth.
Why am I scared of asking him to come with me to a doctor’s appointment?
Finn has spent every night in my bed since the night of Lola’s birthday party. We’ve snuggled, made out, and progressed to third base, but we haven’t slept together yet. The first time we hooked up, we were a mix of emotions, of desire and lust. Now, it’s as if one of us is afraid of crossing that line. When it comes, there’ll be no going back. Sex is more final, and ever since I became pregnant, I’ve seen it as more of something that you only do out of love.
I shove the last bite of doughnut into my mouth and wash it down with apple juice. Not a good combination, but my pregnant appetite would have apple juice with every meal if possible.
“I, uh …” I struggle to find the right words.
Finn sets his coffee to the side to provide me his full attention.
“Whatever it is, hit me.” He rubs his hands together.
“I have a doctor’s appointment today.” I stare at him, unfocused, not wanting to see him as clearly in case he turns me down. “I’m going to find out the sex of the baby.”
“Who’s going with you?” His face hardens when I shake my head. “No one?”
I gulp. “No one.”
“Wrong.” He leans in close. “I’m going with you.” He quickly presses a kiss to the tip of my nose.
That’s the thing with Finn.
If he knows someone needs something, he’s there.
Yes, we might be dating, but that doesn’t mean he’s obligated to go. He could’ve easily blamed it on work, especially since it’ll be last minute.
With no hesitation, Finn said he’d be there.
Another event where Finn steps up and does Gavin’s job.
Another action that’ll pull me closer to him even though I know in the end, he’ll leave. Finn is a thirty-year-old man who’s never talked positively about commitment. When baby talk comes up with our friends, he always shakes his head and says he doesn’t think it’s for him.
Does that mean my baby and I won’t be for him either?
It’s one thing to hang out with the pregnant girl and another when there’s a screaming newborn in the next room.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Finn
Right now, I’m like a damn toddler on Christmas morning.
Not that I’ve ever believed in Santa.
When I was at the old age of five, my father told me Santa was fake and wanted to make it clear that any gift I received was from him, period. Dick wanted to take all the credit … even for the ones I received from different charity organizations.
I’ve been brimming in excitement all day. Hell, I’m shocked I haven’t broken out in dance. For what seems like the hundredth time today, I check my watch. As soon as the time that I’ve been waiting for hits, I jump up from my chair.
I high-five Brian before leaving and getting in my car to pick up Grace for her appointment.
Today will be another addition to my top ten list.
Grace asked me to be there with her for this appointment. She’s handing over a trust not easily given. She could’ve asked one of the girls to accompany her, but I was her pick. That feels damn good.
I blare my music, singing along with the song, and drive to Grace’s school. When I pull into the parking lot, I spot her standing at the entrance. Her attention is on the children running around the playground. As I get closer, she turns, and her face practically glows when her eyes meet mine. I grin, and my heart fucking brightens at the reminder of where we’re going.