Kathleen gave an exaggerated shudder. “What a life you must have led. But you’re right, of course. Let’s do this.” She sat up a little straighter. “Martha. Make that call.”
She held tightly to Josh’s hand as Martha dialed, and held her breath as Martha spoke to someone on the other end of the phone.
There was a long pause during which Kathleen’s chest ached and she concluded that her ability to handle intense emotion hadn’t improved with age.
Finally, Martha handed her the phone. Her eyes glistened.
“It’s Ruth. She can’t wait to talk to you.”
Kathleen took the phone, wishing she’d asked Josh and Martha to leave her alone to talk to her old friend, but they must have known instinctively that was what she wanted because Josh stood up and gave her shoulder a squeeze and Martha gave her a kiss on the cheek and whispered that they’d be “right outside.”
As the door clicked quietly shut behind them, Kathleen was left alone.
Her hand was shaking so much she could hardly hold the phone to her ear.
“Hello? Is that you, Ruth?”
21
MARTHA
GRAND CANYON
“I don’t like leaving her.” Martha and Josh had driven the two and a half hours to Peach Springs, leaving Kathleen asleep in the gorgeous rustic lodge with its views across the Grand Canyon.
She’d assured Martha that she could happily spend a month admiring the view from her suite, and that spending a day alone would be a pleasure not a hardship, but still Martha felt unsettled.
How was it possible that she’d grown fond of Kathleen so quickly? It was partly the circumstances—being closeted together in a car—partly because she reminded Martha a little of her grandmother, but mostly because Kathleen had given her back her confidence.
She no longer doubted her ability behind the wheel of the car. Instead, she looked forward to the driving. She’d stopped punishing herself for past decisions. Thanks to Kathleen, she’d stopped thinking of them as bad decisions. They were her decisions, and if her family didn’t approve that was their problem.
But this morning she’d felt torn between her fondness for Kathleen, and her desire to do something to help Josh.
“I know she’s worried about meeting Ruth. I had a feeling she would have liked Liza to be there.” They’d put the top down and Josh tugged his hat down to shade his eyes from the hot Arizona sun.
“Ask her to fly out?”
“Not an option. She has family of her own. They’re going to France.”
“Then we’ll go with Kathleen to Ruth’s. If she looks as if she wishes she’d made a different decision, we’ll drag her out of there and take her for a walk on the beach instead. Or we can take her home.”
“Home?”
“My place. I live up the coast from Santa Monica. I have a great view of the ocean from my deck.”
She had an unsettling vision of him sprawled on the deck wearing nothing but board shorts. Her imagination had always been her downfall and now it was presenting her with vivid images of Josh naked. She tried to switch it off and replace it with less provocative images of Josh hunched over a computer screen, looking serious. But that didn’t work because he didn’t hunch and although he often looked serious, when he smiled it was as if someone had switched on all the lights full beam.
“You live near the sea?” Her voice sounded strange and she cleared her throat. “I thought you hated water?” She wasn’t going to think about him emerging from the ocean, with droplets of water clinging to those broad shoulders.
“I like looking at it. Not experiencing it.”
“So if I was drowning, you wouldn’t save me?”
“I’d save you by alerting the lifeguard.”
“That doesn’t count.”
“You’re alive at the end of it, so it counts. The secret of success is the ability to delegate a task to the most qualified person. If I tried to save you, we’d both drown. Talking of which, you might be right about today. We shouldn’t have left her,” Josh said. “Let’s go back. Who wants to go rafting on the Colorado River, anyway?”
Why did he have to make her laugh? She was doomed. “We do.”
“You do. It always seemed like a bad idea to me. Still does. Particularly now I know I’m expected to save you. Turn the car around.”
Was he serious?
The sudden stab of sympathy pierced those unsettling images. “Is this very hard for you? Doing this without your brother?”
“Being without him is hard—it doesn’t matter much what I’m doing.”
She wanted to stop the car and give him a big hug, but instead she kept the conversation light. “In that case, we might as well go rafting. You can’t back out now. Not when I’ve spent my life savings on this experience for you. You’re welcome, Martha.”
“You’re persistent, Martha. You’re a pain in the neck, Martha.”
She patted his thigh and then wished she hadn’t because the moment her fingers made contact with hard muscle those images came rushing back, along with a scorching rush of attraction. You’re a fool, Martha! “No need to be scared. And no need to worry about saving me. I’ll save you.” Although she had a feeling she was the one who might need saving, and not from the water. But she didn’t regret doing this, no matter the cost to her. She hated the thought of him taking this long trip alone, hitching a ride from place to place, making small talk with whoever picked him up, thinking about his brother the whole time. He would have carried that sadness with no one to help bear the load.
Although it had to be said that right now he didn’t seem particularly pleased that she was by his side. She could feel him glowering at her from under the brim of his baseball cap.
“You’re trained in white water rescue?”
“Not specifically, but the people I’m paying to escort us are, and I’m generally resourceful. If you promise to stop complaining, I’ll promise to rescue you if you fall headfirst into the water. You’re going to love this. And I honestly think it will be good for you.” And unless the searing burn of sexual attraction didn’t fade soon, she’d be glad of the excuse.
“Oatmeal is good for me. Doesn’t mean I love it.”
“Would you have been like this if Red had been sitting in this car with you?”
Josh gave a reluctant laugh. “I would have been worse. Red never would have let me get away with a day trip. He would have booked a week on the toughest part of the river. Probably unguided.”