“Terror can bond people, I hear.”
“Is that why you’re doing this? So I’ll cling to you?”
“I don’t need an excuse for that. When I’m ready to grab you, I’ll grab you.” And at this rate, it was going to be sooner rather than later.
“A little warning might be helpful. For example, are you going to do it while driving? Given that you’re a relatively inexperienced driver, you might want to pull over first.”
“I was inexperienced in Chicago—I have tons of experience now. And I’m not sure when I’m going to grab you.” She shot him a look. “I’ll do it when the time is right. When it comes to decision making, I’m still feeling my way.”
“Any time you want to feel your way with me, go right ahead.”
Oh Martha, Martha. “Are you flirting with me?”
“Possibly. It’s possible I’m trying to take my mind off the nightmare you’ve so generously planned for me.”
“And I need to make sure that getting physical with you is what I want, and that I’m not only doing it to please Kathleen.”
He turned his head. “I understand you letting me join you on this trip to please Kathleen, but you’d have sex with me to please Kathleen too?”
“I’m a generally accommodating person. It’s something I need to be mindful of when I’m making decisions.” She managed to keep her expression serious. “She’s vulnerable right now, and it would make her happy to know that her little plan to bring us together has worked. She thinks I need to get my confidence back.”
“Do I get any say in any of this?”
It was a good thing he couldn’t read her mind or he’d probably decide it was safer to walk the rest of Route 66 than be trapped in the car with her. “Neither of us had any say in it. We’re all innocent pawns in Kathleen’s game.” Thinking about Kathleen triggered another niggle of anxiety. “Maybe you’re right, and we should turn round. She put on a brave face yesterday, but she didn’t sleep last night. Did you see those shadows under her eyes?”
“She’s eighty. And we had a busy day yesterday.”
Somehow he always managed to reassure her. And it was true that they’d had a busy day. They’d driven from Winslow to Flagstaff, stopping at the Meteor Crater.
“And you did fill her head with scientific facts, which probably exhausted her.” But Martha knew the real cause of Kathleen’s fatigue went deeper than that. She was anxious about meeting Ruth. “I have a feeling that now she has made the decision, she wants to get it done. Be serious for a moment—do you think we should have stayed and distracted her?”
“No. She wanted us to do this.” Josh rubbed his hand over his jaw. “I’ve been given strict instructions to show you a good time, which will be a challenge given my lack of affection for water sports.”
Martha adjusted her grip on the wheel. “You’re supposed to show me a good time? What exactly does that mean?”
“You’ll know it when you see it.”
She was pretty sure that any time spent with Josh would be a good time. “What if I don’t? What if your idea of a good time isn’t my idea of a good time?”
“Then you’ll have to lie. To keep her happy.”
Martha studied the road ahead. “I won’t lie. So you’d better make sure I have a good time, Josh Ryder. No moaning about water. No sarcasm. No blinding me with facts about how old the rocks are or when the Grand Canyon was formed.”
“Would you like to know how many hapless tourists drown rafting on the Colorado River every year?”
“No.”
“The temperature of the water?”
“Definitely not.”
“This is like being with Red.”
She glanced at him and was relieved to see a smile on his face. “He had curly, badly behaved hair, an oversize rear end and skin with a tendency to burn in the sun?”
“Mmm.” He gestured to the side of the road. “Pull over.”
“Now? Why?”
“I can state with confidence that your curly hair is as cute as your freckles, but I might need to take a closer look at your rear end before I can give a definitive answer on relative sizes.”
“Josh Ryder! I am not pulling over so that you can stare at my butt.”
“My loss.” But he was grinning and so was she.
And maybe that should have surprised her as they’d been talking about his brother, but she’d learned after her grandmother had died that sadness and laughter could coexist.
“So how is this like being with Red?”
“You mean apart from the laughter? Like you, he was never interested in any of this stuff and I tried to make him interested. I often tried to persuade him to change his life, and do something more serious and adult, but all he wanted to do was chase waves and have a good time. Interestingly, he never tried to change me, even though my life choices seemed as crazy to him as his did to me.”
“But despite all that you were close.” She could hear it in the way he talked about his brother.
“Yes. Whenever we were both in we’d get together and share a few beers—more than a few.”
“I’m surprised your evil boss gave you the time off. You should have taken yourself to an employment tribunal or something. Cruelty to workers.”
“I like to think I was fair with everyone else.” He glanced at the roadside. “Make a right. If you’re determined to do this, this is our turning.”
She turned and found the parking lot. “From here we go on a bus to the bottom of the canyon. I’m excited, are you?”
“Not remotely.” But he was good-natured as the bus bumped its way down the road and was still almost smiling as they settled themselves into the boat.
Martha pressed her thigh a little closer to his as their guide introduced himself.
“Prepare yourselves for a wet, wild roller-coaster ride down eight white water rapids.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Martha.”
“Why the sarcasm? According to the promotional blurb we are going to be thrilled. If it wasn’t true, they wouldn’t say it.”
“I can think of other, safer ways of being thrilled.”
“Stop moaning. You, Mr. Tycoon, are about to get up close and personal with the mighty Colorado River.” And she was going to get up close and personal with him, if he wanted that too. She’d made her decision, and she was sure about it. Josh was the most exciting man she’d met in a long time, maybe ever. She loved the way he was with Kathleen, and the way he talked about his brother. She loved his sense of humor. Most of all she loved the way she felt when she was around him. With Josh, she never felt less. She never felt as if she should be more or different. He never chipped at her edges, tried to change who she was or make her smaller. Life had shaved pieces from her confidence, but being with him healed all those raw places.