“You can’t force me to go to Exton.”
“I’m helping you!” Jesse told him. “I’m giving you the perfect excuse to leave. You were embarrassed when you lost to me? I saw you today. Nobody at Kings Row is on your level, and you know it. Kings Row is dragging you down, and I want to save you. I think you want it, too. Your pride just won’t let you admit it. So let me do you a favor, Seiji. You can keep your pride this time. You can have what you want. You can be on the winning team. You can even blame me. If you come back and be my partner again.”
“All right.” Seiji pulled his arm free of Jesse’s grasp. “I’ll fence with you. And if I win, I want something, too.”
Jesse drew closer. “Tell me.”
“If I win, you never suggest me coming to Exton again. I stay at Kings Row, and we fence you at the state championships. And that’s how it is between us.”
“That’s what you want?” Jesse blinked. “Fine!”
“Fine,” Seiji said in a tight voice. “Excuse me.”
“Seiji,” Jesse called. Seiji glanced over his shoulder to see Jesse shining golden by moonlight, as though no harsh words had been spoken between them. Serenely confident, Jesse said, “I’m looking forward to winning.”
Seiji wanted to snarl back that he would win, but that felt like committing himself to yet another match, this time with words. That would feel like letting Jesse win over and over again.
“Do you know something, Jesse?” Seiji asked. “You talk too much.”
Then he turned and left the party. He made for the house where he and Nicholas were staying, but he didn’t have to go that far. Nicholas was leaning against the fence that served as a perimeter for the training grounds, hands stuffed in the pockets of his ripped black jeans, his face moody.
“Why did you go?” Seiji asked coldly. “You said you wouldn’t.”
He wanted Nicholas to explain himself, but as soon as he spoke, he felt like he’d said too much. He wasn’t like Jesse, who could use conversational feints. Whenever Seiji spoke, he left himself open for attack. Showing he cared was like begging to be disarmed.
“I don’t see how leaving could embarrass you, Seiji,” said Nicholas mystifyingly. “Your old pal Jesse was being a jerk, and I didn’t want to stay at the stupid party. So I left. What’s the big deal?”
“Why would you care what Jesse says to you? You never care what other people say to you!” Seiji exclaimed. “Is there some reason that Jesse’s different?”
A strange silence followed, broken only by the sigh of the sea wind. There was an expression on Nicholas’s face that Seiji found disturbing. Nicholas never looked that way. It was like seeing an open book slammed shut.
“Is there a reason, Nicholas?” Seiji asked, much more quietly. “If there is, tell me.”
It might have been the closed-off look on Nicholas’s face, changing it so much from the face Seiji was used to, or the way his hair was swept back tonight. It might have been simply an effect of how disturbed Seiji was. For a moment, it was like seeing Jesse’s face superimposed over Nicholas’s. The coloring was different, but the determined tilt of the jaw, the shape of the furious mouth, seemed for an instant exactly the same.
Nicholas couldn’t be like Jesse. If Nicholas was like Jesse, Seiji would have to stay away from him. Seiji’s stomach turned over, sick and unsettled, and he found himself scared of what Nicholas might say.
“No,” said Nicholas at last. “There’s no reason.”
Only it sounded to Seiji as though Nicholas was lying. There was the same bitter resentment in Nicholas’s brown eyes as there had been the day they had actually come to blows. Seiji wanted, with sudden ferocity, to hit Nicholas again.
“Then why did you go?” Seiji demanded.
“Why do you care if I went away?” Nicholas riposted.
Panic filled Seiji’s ears with the roar of the sea. He thought again of losing that match to Jesse, being alone after and staring down at his empty hands.
“I don’t care,” he said desperately. “I don’t. It’s just, you said you would stay.”
“Why should I? You were busy talking to those fancy European fencers. You turned away and left me to get insulted by those Exton boys.”
Had Jesse hurt Nicholas? Jesse could do that sometimes, unthinking and confident in his own superiority in a way that crushed the people around him. But surely Nicholas wouldn’t let himself be crushed by anything. Seiji found he’d come to rely on that.
Seiji said, low, “I didn’t mean to turn away from you. I was thinking of Jesse.”
“You were thinking about Jesse?” Nicholas’s voice was bitter. “Yeah, that fits. You always are. Why are you even at Kings Row?”
“What?” Seiji whispered.
“What happened that made you decide not to go to Exton?” Nicholas asked. “If that’s where you actually want to be, why aren’t you at Exton with Jesse already?”
Seiji couldn’t talk about it. He wouldn’t talk about it. He didn’t know why Nicholas would ask. He didn’t know why Nicholas made him so angry, even angrier than Jesse did. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… Seiji didn’t want to be a fool again. He didn’t want to be disarmed.
“Great question,” Seiji snarled. He pushed past Nicholas and walked on into the dark.
24 AIDEN
Aiden watched in fascinated horror as a beautiful blond girl gently encouraged Eugene out onto the dance floor. Eugene clearly didn’t know how to dance, even an informal dance, and was even more clearly in the grip of self-consciousness that was making him clumsy in a way Eugene normally wasn’t. His moves were indescribable. Aiden hoped nobody knew Eugene was on the same fencing team he was.
The blonde began to look alarmed for her safety as Eugene’s own face began to fill with panic. Aiden took pity on his teammate and kicked him hard in the ankle. Eugene went down to the ground on one knee, relief spreading across his face.
“Aiden, how could you?!” exclaimed the blonde. She seemed vaguely familiar, but Aiden had no idea what her name was. “I saw you! J’accuse! You did that on purpose to brave Eugene, who is recovering from sickness!”
“Yes, I’m a wicked bully,” claimed Aiden. “Better go see to him.”
Eugene glanced over his shoulder, mouthing thank you to Aiden as he limped off. The girl had her arm protectively around her wounded dove Eugene’s waist as she helped him to a chair.
Aiden smirked to himself.
Aiden slid his arm around his dance partner’s neck, with a flirty sidelong smile, so he could draw in close and observe things of actual interest to him over the guy’s shoulder. Tiny Bobby Rodriguez was dancing up a storm, with his faithful suitor in attendance. Poor Dante. Aiden couldn’t believe Dante had come all this way to attend a fencing camp he had no interest in, purely to be with Bobby. Who, to add insult to injury, only had eyes for Seiji Katayama.
Which was why Aiden had decided to remember Dante’s name. Aiden had a lot of empathy for someone who made a fool of themselves over a big crush. Aiden had been there, done that, bought the HELPLESSLY PINING FOR HARVARD LEE T-shirt.