“Right.” Roger winks. “Never heard that one before.”
“Seriously, we’re just friends. You know that,” I blurt out. Yeah, definitely will have to become more crafty. I think lying is going to be harder than I thought.
I remind myself that if Skylar does indeed go along with my plan, I’ll have to stop talking about her as ‘just a friend.’
Luckily, before Roger can ask any more prodding questions, Sky comes halfway down the stairs and waves me up.
“Hola Lucas! Up here!”
We exchange hellos and head into her room, and shut the door so we’re safe from any prodding ears that could discover the most devious plan Greene State U has ever seen.
Skylar’s room is kind of plain. It has a bed, desk, and—important for tonight—a white board. She’s simplistic in her needs for whatever reason, I’ve never asked.
The one thing that stands out is a framed poster she has up of a quote:
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
-John Lennon
As I’m reflecting on those words, she hands me a marker and we get right down to business.
“So how’s this going to work?” she asks. “We’re going to like…fake a bad relationship so he sees how bad it can be when you marry the wrong person?”
“Exactly. Jennifer is on another level, so a Finklestein-style direct intervention will do nothing. This is going to have to be more intricate.”
I start writing the major points on the white board in erasable marker. “First, we display how sweetly our courtship starts, creating parallels to how Jennifer and Ryan started out, and emphasizing them. They used to do a lot of movie watching and cuddling on the couch in the beginning, by the way, so that’s where we can start. We’ll have to very purposefully act this out in front of Ryan so he sees this drama unfolding before his eyes. Seeing as how he’s my roommate, that part won’t be too hard.”
“So you’re going to ‘court me sweetly?’” Skylar displays a goofy grin. “I can’t wait. What’s your plan for courtship, Mr. Don Juan? Do you even know how to do that?”
“Smart ass. Yes, I do. We’ll watch some movies together, go on a couple of bar dates, that kind of thing.”
Skylar pulls her glasses down and looks over the rims. “You think that’s all it takes to court me?”
My chest hardens for a second because boy does she look serious all of a sudden. “What do you mean by that? That’s my usual routine,” I say, and regret it as soon as the phrase is out of my mouth.
“Oh, well that’s great.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m not your usual girl though. So you better think up some better strategies.”
“Well, what do you like to do?”
“I think we should buy a record player together, and bond over listening to music. That’s more my style.”
“Get out! I was just thinking about buying one of those.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere. I’m not a normal girl.”
I grin. “I’ve always known that.”
“You’ve got to tap into your creative brain with me.” She laughs, tapping the side of her head. “You’re going to have some fun practice for when you do a real courtship in the future, aren’t you?”
Skylar lays down on her bed while I stand up writing at the white board. I steal a glimpse at her out of the corner of my eye, and she’s distracting. Her dark hair florets out on her pillow, and with her arms over her head, her shirt pulls up and just the tiniest bit of her midriff is revealed.
I swallow down a gulp of something inside me. What’s that feeling?
Is that…nerves?
I’m not the type who gets nervous around women. It’s just not part of my constitution.
And Skylar is still just a friend, even though we’ll be faking our way through this thing together…
So why am I feeling like this?
I clear my throat and refocus on the task at hand.
“Okay, so the courtship — we’ll do that for about one month or so. Then, we’ll amp things up, we’ll get real serious, and be all boyfriend-girlfriend for the next month after that. I figure, some time in March I can propose—after spring break perhaps, and we’ll decide there’s no point in waiting to get married, so we marry in April. Then—the fun part.” I tap the white board, and circle the phrase I’ve just written: The break up.
“In May, we start the key part of the operation. Even though we’ll start our relationship struggles a little before that, you know the whole, ‘waiting till we get married’ thing, the steam begins to seep out of the balloon.” Sometimes I kill me with analogies. I continue. “We’ve got to make sure this is the worst breakup of all time. We’re throwing things at each other, refusing to give back each other’s things, throwing each other’s phones into pools, spreading rumors about each other… general mayhem and drama.”
She recoils. “That makes my skin crawl just to think about.”
“I know. It does to me, too. Which is why we’ve got to keep in mind the end game. And remember we’re friends no matter what, this can’t affect the real ‘us’ and what we have, Sky.”
I write another phrase at the bottom of the board and circle it several times.
Save Ryan’s Life.
She nods and laughs. “I can’t believe I’m actually going along with this. But I’ve got some logistical questions.”
“Shoot.”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to lie to my mom about this. I’m just going to tell her the truth, and that she can just go along with it if my relatives ask questions. I can’t lie to her about something so important. And she’d get it, and respect the need for secrecy, she’s good at that.”
“Is she?”
“I made out with Landon Perfect freshman year of college. She was best friends with Landon’s mom and never mentioned a thing. Still hasn’t. So her secrecy is unquestioned. Not that she’d really intersect much with our college circles. But it’s important to me to tell her what’s going on in my life. What about you, are you telling your parents?”
I chuckle awkwardly. No, this would not be the thing to share with my mom in particular. She’s loved Sky from the start and on more than one occasion suggested that we’d make a lovely couple. And well, I don’t bring up too many girls in casual conversation with my mother, for that exact reason. But when I got back from Buenos Aires last year, I couldn’t stop raving about me and Sky’s adventures.
“I think I’ll just keep my parents in the dark, and act like we are just eloping. If they find out, that is,” I say.
I shudder. Maybe that’s reactive on my part, since pictures of us will most likely have to surface on social media at some point, and that could definitely get back to my parents.
Sky taps her nose, then asks, “Do you think your mom, if she found out, would try to reach out to my mom and bridge the gap?”
“It’s a possibility. If that happens, can your mom be in on it, too? Would she tell a lie for a good cause? You’re right; it could come up. My parents have met Ryan’s parents at homecoming stuff, and it could get back to them. They’ll see them at baseball games this spring.”