For forty-eight weeks out of the year or so I dated Federico, we were living in different countries. To cope with that reality, I developed my capacity to fantasize.
Maybe overdeveloped. Because the real thing, the for-real warm body on warm body touching with the possibility of more orgasms like the ones I had the other day, seems like a lot to handle all of a sudden.
After my conversation with Professor Rose, I give some thought to sex.
What is it about me that I have this hold up when it comes to owning my true desire, to just admitting to myself and to Luke that I want him and I want to do things with him, as meta as our ‘relationship within a fake relationship’ situation might be.
Is it some puritanical mindset imbued in my psyche where I’m shamed just for being a female and having desires?
Or is it simpler than that? Maybe, after being with someone—Federico—for over a year and a half and trying to make something work that clearly wasn’t in the cards, my dam is bursting with the possibility of fulfillment of desires with someone who I really do like and have chemistry with? And having to really be vulnerable with someone face-to-face scares me?
In spite of the cold outside, my hands feel clammy as I pull out my phone to text Ryan.
If I’m going to do this with Luke, I might as well do it right and have some fun with it.
And he mentioned something very drunkenly, during one of our first days abroad in Buenos Aires that always stuck with me.
I figure, if he’s making my fantasies come true, the least I can do is reciprocate that. Plus, I just want to see the look on his face when I carry out the slightly devious plan I’ve got.
He claims he’s never been woken up like this. Well, he’s in for a big freaking surprise this morning.
“Why didn’t you just text Luke?” Ryan asks, clearly still groggy from last night’s activities. I wonder if he went out with Luke, too. I’m not about to let him in on the plan for what I’m actually about to do with Luke, because I have my doubts that Jennifer would think this unselfishly about him, even in the early phase of their relationship. Plus, although this is sort of a part of Operation Romper, it’s also just for me.
Well, for Luke.
“I did, but he wasn’t responding. I think he was still sleeping,” I lie as Ryan opens the door further for me to finally enter. I need Luke not to know that I’m coming in if this is going to be the surprise I would like.
“Whatever,” he says and heads back to bed. So I sneak down the hall, trying to be super quiet and managing to do a pretty stellar job.
I open the door to Luke’s room as quietly as possible and close it the same way.
Before I take off my glasses, I admire him for a moment. He sleeps on his back with his arms above his head, and there’s no denying he looks sexy as hell.
The sun streams in his room through the venetian blinds, illuminating his V shaped torso. From the waist down, he’s covered with a blanket.
My heart thumps like I’m a lioness about to pounce. I take a deep breath so as not to lose my courage for what I’m about to do. I think about my angle of attack.
Although it’s an unselfish act I’m about to perform, I’m suddenly getting so nervous, my mouth is becoming dry. Which is precisely the opposite of what it needs to be right now.
I remind myself of the facts. He’d mentioned this to me offhand during a game of never have I ever, the very first night we’d met.
The game was silly, but he’d made the assertion never have I ever been woken up with a blow job.
The four of us who were playing had a really good laugh at that. I couldn’t tell if he was serious about it, or if it was just a tongue-in-cheek joke to move the game along.
But afterwards when we were drunk that night out at some pub in Buenos Aires, I jokingly prodded him about it further. And he admitted it really was a fantasy of his, then changed the subject.
I hadn’t thought much of the moment until Friday. Not like I lost brain cells fantasizing about him when I was with someone else. Plus, Luke was a great friend, and we both seemed to want to keep it that way. But after Luke blew me away with his mouth and tongue, I wondered about ways I could surprise he who seemed unphased by most things. That first memory between us popped into my mind, and it got me thinking.
If I’m going to have fun with Luke, I might as well go all out. He was my fantasy on Friday…why can’t I be his on Sunday?
I take off my shirt so it won’t be awkwardly sliding up around my midsection, and in my bra and jeans, crawl under the covers from the base of the bed, sneaking my head under the covers like I’m a puppy.
In the dark.
Under his covers.
Some light streams in, and the cover falls awkwardly over my body. I feel like I’ve just built the naughtiest fort ever.
He’s fairly hard already. Is he having a sex dream or something?
Positioning myself on his side, I slip my hand into the slit in his boxers, and expose his cock. Just as I recall from two days ago–not to mention the couch prodding—his dick is thick, amazing, and touching the hot flesh makes my heart race.
I get as comfortable as I can for what I’m about to do, and something coils inside me. Not only am I turned on by touching him, but also by the taboo nature of what I’m doing. I can feel the heat build between my legs, but I resist the urge to slip a hand between my thighs. There’s no denying the way touching this man, inhaling the piney scent of him, and performing this ridiculous, secret act makes me feel: like I’m on fire.
I can feel the vibrations from his growls reverberating through his body. There will be no cockblocking what I’m about to do this time.
I feel the cover being lifted from my head. Light streams in, and Luke flutters his eyes open. “Holy fucking shit, Cielo.” Luke’s voice is as low and gravelly as I’ve ever heard it. “The fuck are you doing?”
I pull my mouth off of his cock and bite my lip. “I’m riding a bicycle. What the fuck does it look like I’m doing, Lucas?”
He grins sleepily. “Jesus. I didn’t see this coming in a million years. This is so hot.”
His hand comes down to my head, pushing strands of my hair behind my ears. I wrap my lips around his cock again, and the moans that escape from Luke’s mouth are unlike any syllables I’ve heard from him before, clumsy and inarticulate.
I slide a hand up his abdomen, feeling the ridges of his ab muscles. I love the way I can feel him pulsing in my mouth.
I let my mouth off of him and suck in a giant breath. He looks down at me with hooded, foreboding eyes.
He whips the cover completely off of me, of us, and I squint at the light streaming in.
“I want to watch you doing this, Sky. Because this is going to be etched into my mind forever.”
My heart pounds as I lick my lips, glancing down at his hard, thick length. Luke slides his hips up off the bed, and I take his cue, helping him slip his boxers off completely.
Holding the base of his cock, I circulate kisses around his abdomen, legs, and hips. He’s so hard, and I can feel his cock twitching intermittently.
Closing my eyes, I take him in my mouth again, going as deep as I can until he’s hitting the back of my throat. One of his hands runs down to my breasts and massages my nipples, turning me on even more.
“Open your eyes, Sky,” he breathes. “Look at me while you do it. I want to see you.”