But a piece of gossip this big is just begging to be let out.
And once a cat—no, a tiger—like this is out of the bag, it won’t be going back in.
I give Sky a kiss as the toast happens, and I realize how far we’ve come since the winter.
Roger’s speech is funny because it actually rings true.
I’ve been that guy at the bar, and okay although I don’t have to hit on girls (sorry for being cocky but it’s true) I was definitely enjoying my casual, no-strings-attached lifestyle.
When we pull back from our kiss, I see the depth behind Sky’s eyes too, and I wonder if she’s got the same thoughts on her mind about all of this.
A part of me truly feels like we’re moving toward something much deeper together, though I’m not sure what.
Too bad it’s all going down in a giant ring of firey divorce and messy breakup theatre in just a couple of weeks.
I see Jennifer and Ryan sitting at their circular table, and damn, I kind of want to take a picture, because how they are right now encapsulates their relationship so much.
Jennifer leans back, looking at her giant space rock, ignoring Ryan.
Ryan sits, lips pressed together, and arms folded, staring off into space, talking to no one.
Damn. I flash forward to a picture of them, if they stay together, being one of those couples who has dinner together and are more animated in their discussion with the waitstaff than with each other.
Come on, old buddy, I think. Pull through. Breakups aren’t easy, but I know you’ve got the strength in you.
And like Skylar has told me about Federico, some breakups are for the best.
Unfortunately, it’s sometimes easier to realize that when it’s not you who has to do the breaking up.
I look over at Sky, and it hits me.
Fuck. We’re going to have to end this…somehow. The worst part? We haven’t even defined what ‘this’ is. Other than two friends having fun. Lots of fun.
But it’s more than just fun. I’ve felt myself grow into a new feeling with her. One where I would do anything for her if she was in need.
I think about diving into the subject with her, but I decide that maybe some things are better left unsaid.
She rubs the back of my shoulder. “What are you thinking about, babe?”
“Just praying that Ryan gets a grip on reality,” I lie.
Because all of a sudden, the quote about the madness of love comes back to me, and I realize something. I’m the one who needs to get a grip on reality. Because when this school year ends, Skylar and I are done. Anything besides a relationship theatre, is all in my head.
But the thought continues to gnaw at me: let’s face it, once Sky and I end this, we’re done for good. She’ll be in God-knows-which-country for two years, saving the world, and when she gets back she’ll be a different person.
And I sure as hell will change a ton in my early twenties, too.
Nevertheless, a future without Sky doesn’t seem like any fun at all.
Sky leans over and kisses me again.
I kiss her with need, pulling her into me for longer when I could tell by her feel she was just going in for just a peck.
She pulls back for a moment, and…are her eyes glazed over with tears? She’s smiling, but they just might be.
Right then, Jennifer comes up from behind.
“Everything going okay?” she asks.
I shoot her a look of death.
“I was just making out with my wife. So…yeah.”
“Oh.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Right. Your wife.”
Fuck. Does she…know?
“What does that even mean?” I say.
“This just happened really fast, that’s all,” Jennifer responds.
Skylar wraps her arm low around my waist. “Well, we were hesitant to be honest. But then we just thought to ourselves, ‘If Ryan and Jennifer can press ahead with getting married, we can too!’ You two are so in love. It’s really inspiring.”
Jennifer’s jaw hangs a little open, like she’s going to say something, but she doesn’t.
“Wow,” Jennifer finally says. “I didn’t see this coming.”
She looks over at Luke. “I honestly didn’t think guys like you settled down. Like…ever. And definitely not with girls like her. No offense.”
I scrunch up my face, and feel my chest tightening. “What does that mean? And just so you know, saying ‘no offense’ doesn’t allow you to say whatever you want afterward. It means you’re alerting to us that you’re being an asshole. Skylar is an amazing person inside and out. So that made me want to be with her. Not with girls ‘like her,’ whatever that means. I want to be with her. Period.”
The look on Jennifer’s face is priceless. She’s stunned.
Sky’s hand squeezes mine back harder. Like, really hard.
“Excuse me,” Sky says with a smile that seems way too randomly big. “I’ll be right back.”
I watch Skylar walking very quickly in the direction of the bathroom, and I’m slightly perplexed.
“You okay, Cielo?” I call out to her. “You need me to come with?”
“No, no, fine.” She waves to me without looking back.
Jennifer folds her arms and stares at me. “You’re a mysterious man, Luke Rutledge.”
I shrug and take a sip of my drink. “You think so?”
“I know so. I never thought I’d see you in love.”
“I never thought I’d be in love.”
Whoa. Did I just say that? The words just flowed out so naturally.
Jennifer’s face turns down in a frown. She turns to leave, then she spins around again, still with a sad expression. “What’s it feel like?”
Nerves course through me. “Getting married? Ah it’s—”
“No, not getting married. The other thing. Being in love.” She clears her throat. “I mean, what does it feel like…to you? Obviously I know what love feels like.”
I keep a stern face, but internally, my heart races.
Holy shit. Is Jennifer asking me what it’s like to be in love because she’s never been in love?
I inhale deeply and decide, for this moment, I might as well drop the charade and be honest with Jennifer. Even though she’s a devil woman, maybe she’s just as confused as the rest of us.
“I think love is what happens when three things come together. One, you are a whole person without your soulmate. If you’re overly reliant on them for your psychological needs, it’ll never work. Two, you enjoy making the other person happy, and it doesn’t come at a detriment to your own needs. And three, well, geez. I think the third ingredient is still a mystery. Chemistry, terrific sex, the spark, desire. If all of those elements are present, and you’ve got some luck and magic, that’s love.”
I see Sky come out of the bathroom with a smile on her face, and I’m distracted. She waves Roger over.
“You really care about her, don’t you?” Jennifer asks, following my gaze.
“I do.”
Jennifer brushes her hair behind her head. This crazy expression comes over her face and it worries me. Does she know everything? Is she about to ‘out’ me?
Her eyes turn downward and her expression becomes melancholy. “Well I’m happy for you two.”