“Get that out of here,” I say, slapping her hand out of the way and giving her the biggest hug I’ve ever given anyone.
“Finals are next week,” she says. “And then we’ll be gone. I need to start getting my things in order to leave for Paraguay in June.”
“Whatever you need, let me know,” I say, holding her shoulder.
I’m so turned on right now, I feel myself buzzing with need for her. My words feel empty. Let me know? What does that even mean?
She’s about to head up the stairs of her house, but she lingers just a moment, and I seize the day.
Grabbing her wrist, I spin her back around toward me and press her into the giant oak tree in her front yard.
I put my hands on her hips and kiss her more deeply, more passionately than I ever have.
Fuck. Why does this kiss feel so different than the rest?
Her body caves to mine, she thrusts her hips up and into me, then slides her hands up my shirt.
I’m filled with electricity, and I slide my hands down her backside and onto her cheeks for a good squeeze.
She moans loudly into my mouth, her desire never more present.
Without warning, she opens her eyes, wiping away a tear.
“Stop,” she says, pushing me away. “Please stop.”
She runs up her stairs, then turns from the porch with her hand on the doorknob. “We can’t do this anymore, Lucas,” she says. “It was so much fun. It was everything. But we can’t do it anymore.”
“I know,” I grit out.
She closes the door, and that’s it.
I feel my heart shatter as she locks the bolt.
“I know,” I mutter to no one.
I stand like that for a few minutes in the night, spacing out and looking at the tree where I had just kissed her.
Was that the last kiss? I wonder.
A forever without Sky feels like the longest lifetime of all.
27
Sky
One month later
Orlando, Florida
Peace Corps Staging
“Look around,” says the Peace Corps Director, who has come down from Washington, D.C. to give a speech for all of the volunteers before we fly out to Paraguay tomorrow. “Some of these people will be your best friends for the rest of your life. In my group of forty, there were three marriages to volunteers, and two more to host country nationals.”
After the orientation, all fifty-two of us Peace Corps volunteers head to a happy hour not too far from the hotel.
“I’m Natasha,” a pretty woman with black hair says to me. “Urban Youth Sector. You?”
“I’m an education volunteer,” I say.
“Cool. What’s your background?”
“Spanish, and a theatre minor. You?”
“History and…well hello handsome,” Natasha says.
She’s looking across the bar, where two shaggy haired guys, also Peace Corps volunteers, are smiling at us. They walk over.
“I’m Casey,” says the one with darker hair. “Urban Youth.”
“And I’m Troy,” says the other. “Health.”
“Hi Troy and Casey.” I smile. “I’m Skylar.”
“And I’m Natasha.”
We chat them up for a while.
Troy is nice, with curly hair, a pleasant demeanor, and cute dimples. I find out he’s from San Francisco and apparently comes from a wealthy real estate family.
My buzz courses through me after a few drinks, and he pops in there.
Lucas.
Why can’t I stop thinking of him no matter what I do, no matter which cute guy I talk to?
I keep replaying our last night together, how he pressed me into that big oak tree, and kissed me like I was his.
I remind myself of the reason I had to break away from him:
He didn’t love me.
He outright refused to say it. I couldn’t have made it any more obvious than I did that I was so into him I’d have done anything to be with him.
Even stay back from the Peace Corps.
“Be right back,” I say to everyone, and then head toward the bathroom area, but what I’m really doing is pulling out my phone to text.
We haven’t spoken since graduation. Somehow I’ve managed not to call or text Luke, even though my phone feels like a hot potato.
Maybe it’s the four drinks I’ve had tonight. Maybe it’s the finality of flying out tomorrow. But I miss him more than usual tonight.
Before dinner, I sneak out and break down. I send Luke a text.
Sky: I fly out to Paraguay tomorrow.
His reply is instant.
Luke: Where are you now?
Sky: Peace Corps Staging. In Florida.
Luke: Ok well have fun.
Sky: I have my own hotel room. My roommate already dropped out of the Peace Corps. Got cold feet.
Luke: Two years away from home is a tall order. I can see why.
Sky: I’m going to spend my last night in the United States for two years in a bed all by myself.
Luke: If only there were some man you could call, maybe someone you have great chemistry with, who wouldn’t mind pretending to be your husband for the night.
Sky: Yes it would…
Luke: Guess where I am.
Sky: Still Galesburg?
Luke: Nope. Tampa, Florida.
My heart starts to pound. I pull it up on Google maps and see how close it is. An hour and a half.
Sky: I feel bad about how we left things.
Luke: Me too.
Sky: Do you want to come here tonight?
Luke: I just got in my car. I’m coming.
Almost exactly an hour and a half later, Luke shows up at the hotel bar.
He immediately stands out. Not only because he’s taller and more muscular than the Peace Corps boys, but just because of the aura that seems to surround him wherever he goes.
Everyone looks toward him as he comes in.
“Who’s that?” Natasha asks.
“My friend Luke,” I say.
“Just a friend?”
I shrug. “It’s complicated.”
When he sees me, a huge smile spreads across his face, and he makes a beeline for me.
“Cielo,” he says, then hugs me. “What a coincidence.”
Troy, Casey, and Natasha all seem to be in awe of him. “Huge coincidence,” I echo.
He shakes the hand of all three of them. Troy and Casey’s flirtations suddenly die down, and Luke and I find ourselves at the bar alone.
“I want you to know, Sky, I think about you a lot. I think about what we had.”
“Have,” I correct.
“Have. Right. We’re still friends.”
“Come on, you said it in your text. We have great chemistry.”
His lips curve upward in a devious grin. “I know. But it’s not just about the physical chemistry with you.”
“What’s it about?”
“I’m still figuring that out.”
“Me too,” I say, taking a swig of my beer.
I notice Troy is staring at me as Luke leans toward me. Luke’s lips brush my ear, and I place my hand on his chest as he whispers.
“Sky, I want you to know, you’ve changed me forever. I’ll never find another girl like you. I’m still trying to process the feelings I have for you, a month later. I think about you so much, and I’ve decided, I truly just want you to do what makes you happy. Whatever path that takes. With me, without me. And right now that’s without me.”