Cat sighed and looked off to the side. "I shouldn't have kissed him in the first place. I was given a huge responsibility. Finn even convinced the DDA to hold their event on Lochguard instead of in Glasgow or London, and I shirked it all for a kiss. Even if I didn't know he was my true mate, it was always a possibility. I should've been stronger, more responsible, and even a wee bit less selfish."
Her mother laid her cheek against the top of Cat's head. "You couldn't have known, love. And you're not the first one to get lost in the heat of the moment."
She shook her head. "That doesn't matter. I still screwed up."
For a beat, her mother said nothing. And then she finally replied, "You've always been the responsible one, taking on more than you should, especially once your father died. And I don't think I've ever told you, but your desire to help me even when you were still young yourself, well, aye, that is what pulled me out of my despair in the end."
At that, Cat moved so she could look her mother in the eye. "What do you mean?"
Her mum smiled, and it turned bittersweet. "I was sad, so very sad when your father was killed. As you know, he was my true mate, my best friend, and the love of my life. All of a sudden, he was gone without warning, and I was left with five children all on my own. I knew I needed to be there for you all. And still, it was so hard to get out of bed, let alone be what a mum should be." Her mother brushed some hair off Cat's face. "Then one morning, you came in with a breakfast tray, standing tall and far too mature for your fifteen years, and told me that the restaurant invoices were due. You'd convinced your siblings to help you carry me out of the bedroom to deal with them, if need be. And whilst it was ridiculous, it was exactly what I needed to hear."
Cat remembered how worried and yet determined she'd been back then. "I always wondered about that. Why did it work?"
Her mother stroked Cat's hair. "I realized that if you, at fifteen, were so determined to put our lives back together and order your mother to get out of bed, then I should try harder. Because if I didn't, you'd probably try to pick up the pieces. And that was selfish, unfair, and not at all what your father would've wanted." She finally smiled warmly. "Thank you, Cat, for that. But just know that it's okay to mess up sometimes to discover who you truly are. I think from that moment, you were determined to be the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, and the perfect everything. But we're the most interesting when we're a little less perfect, love. So rather than punish yourself for slipping up, do what you did with me—pick yourself up and think of your next move. It's your life, Cat. And you need to think of which way you want it to go."
She didn't pretend to misunderstand. "Bairn, or no bairn."
Her mum nodded. "I think Lachlan is a factor in there, too, aye?"
She frowned. "I barely know him."
Her mother shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe not, but he relaxes around you. I noticed it last night. And you light up, too, when talking with him. You almost seem a bit more like a young female than someone who's had to help take care of a family for a decade. And while it's not undying love, it's a start. You can use the next three or so days to see if it's enough."
Even if no one had told her, Cat knew her dragon was only quiet because of the shot to keep her dragon silent. Sometimes it was necessary when mate-claim frenzies kicked off unexpectedly.
Which meant she had approximately three days before her dragon woke up again to decide if she wanted a child or not.
Her first reaction was no. She'd barely finished raising her siblings with her mother.
And yet, if she had a true partner and male who cared for her by her side to help with it all, it might be okay. Despite her grumblings, she loved having a big family. Some people never had a sibling, and she couldn't imagine being alone so often.
Of course it wasn't solely her decision to make.
Before she could think better of it, she blurted, "Did Lachlan leave Lochguard already?"
"I don't know for certain if he's still here, but I wager he's probably waiting at Finn's house. He was really worried about you, Cat. I don't think he'd leave without a word. He seems the type of male to face things and handle them directly."
She thought so too. Although she could easily be wrong.
After all, she knew so little about him.
Still, she wasn't going to be a coward. That wasn't her way. "If you can help me get to Finn's place, I want to see Lachlan right away."
Her mum searched her eyes, her brows drawn a fraction. "Now? But you're exhausted, love. Maybe you should take a nap first so you can have a clear mind."
Cat shook her head. "No. I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Besides, I don't have a lot of time to spend with him. If he doesn't flee, that is."
Three days. Cat had three days to figure out if she wanted to have the frenzy and become a mum in the process or suffer a few years of strain and stress until her dragon's need finally calmed down.
And as her mother helped her up and lent her strength the whole way to Finn's place, Cat wasn't sure if three days would be enough.
Lachlan didn't usually pace since the action was all but broadcasting how he wasn't in complete control.
However, as he waited for word of how Cat was doing, he couldn't help himself. Especially since Finn had been in a meeting and hadn't talked to him yet.
For all the Department of Dragon Affairs liked to think it knew about dragon-shifters, each clan—hell, each individual—acted in their own way. Would Lochguard merely send him on his way, thinking it was better for Cat to suffer and push aside the frenzy rather than get involved with a DDA employee and all the headaches that would follow?
And why did Lachlan want to stay and at least talk with Cat—if he could, that is, without her jumping him and ripping his clothes off—and try to make her understand why he didn't think he could go through with the frenzy. Not because he didn't want her—fuck, he was honest enough to say she was beautiful and her touch was addictive—but Lachlan wasn't exactly father material.
Hell, it wasn't even just his fear of losing control and drinking again that worried him. Although, aye, that was a struggle he'd face for the rest of his life.
No, there was something much worse possibly lurking in the background, waiting to come out. Something that scared him.
Lachlan could end up like his father.
Not that he wanted to, especially since the idea of hitting his wife or child made his stomach roll, but his father's father had done the same, as he'd often heard as a young lad. It was how the MacKintoshs handled their families and kept their wives and children in line.
Lachlan didn't agree. He'd stood up to his dad when he'd been old enough to try and protect his mother and sister. But he always carried that fear—the one of him drinking, losing his temper, and hitting someone he should be protecting.
Like father, like son.
No. He didn't want to be that way. It was part of the reason he kept to himself. Isolation was safer for everyone.
Finn entered the room, and Lachlan forced himself to push away his deepest fears. Dragon-shifters sometimes had a second sense about things, and he wasn't going to risk the dragonman noticing.