We bonded over our love for books. She is obsessed with historical romance novels, just like me.
“And you,” she tells me when I pull back. “You’ve been gone a while.”
My expression drops but I force my smile in place. “Yeah, I, um, I had some family stuff going on.”
“Nothing serious I hope?”
I shake my head. “No. Nothing serious,” I lie.
“Well, I’m so glad you’re back. The new chick didn’t even know where the historical romance section was, let alone recommend a book.”
“I’m sorry.” I grimace. “She’s still getting used to her new role.”
“She didn’t even know who you were.”
“It’s a work in progress,” I tell her, then clear my throat. “Follow me. I’ve actually got the perfect book for you.”
“How are you anyway? Still with your boyfriend?” she asks, keeping in step with me.
I nearly trip over my feet. I grip the bookstand, coming to a stop at the end of the aisle. “No, we, um, we broke up.”
It hurts. It hurts so much because he was never mine to break up with. None of it was real. It was just a ploy.
And he ruined my first time. My nightmares have been focussed on that night. Not him hitting me, not him yelling, not even him admitting he was married. It was him not stopping, him taking something beautiful away from me.
She reaches out, rubbing my arm. “I’m sorry. I know you really liked him.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’ve had my fair share of breakups, so if you ever need a lending ear, I’m all yours.”
“Thank you, but it’s really okay,” I whisper, really not wanting to talk about it.
I’m afraid I’ll break down and cry. And I hate crying.
“How about your cat? Has he stopped scratching you?”
I relax, happy with the subject change. Then excitedly share the good news. “He purred the other day.”
Not because of me but that’s okay.
“That’s great news.”
I beam at her, and reach for the book I was searching for. “It is,” I reply, then hand her the book. “Read this one. The author sent us a bunch of copies and it’s been a great hit.”
She turns the book over, glancing at the back. I’m not a fan of reading blurbs. Not all the time anyway.
“Thank you. This looks awesome.”
“It is,” I assure her, having already read it.
“Yo, Farley, you’ve got a visitor.”
I force a smile as I turn to Rose. “I’ve been summoned.”
“I guess she forgot your name again.”
“It’s a work in progress,” I repeat, then point to the book. “Enjoy.”
“I’m going to finish browsing, but next time, we need to have a coffee and a catch-up.”
“Definitely,” I tell her, then head out of the stacks. I stroll toward the front, surprised to see Paisley waiting for me. “Hey, is everything okay?”
Her shoulders drop when she sees me. “Can we talk?”
“Of course,” I tell her. “We can go into the back. No one sits there.”
“I thought you had an office.”
I give Marlene a quick glance and shrug. “It’s not away from prying ears.”
“Ah,” she murmurs and then follows me to the back. This is where we have the kids come in and study.
I’m the first to take a seat and Paisley follows, reaching for the cushion and cuddling it to her chest. “I’m sorry to turn up on your first day of work.”
“It’s fine, it’s lovely to see you again. But what has brought you here?”
She ducks her head, playing with some lint on her jeans. “I’m worried about Landon.”
I go on alert, sitting up straighter. “Is he okay? Did something happen?”
“No, it’s—” she stops, confliction written over her face. I’m about to ask what’s going on when she suddenly stands. “It’s fine. Forget it. I shouldn’t have come.”
I grab her wrist, pulling her back down. “No, tell me what’s going on.”
When I see the tears in her eyes, dread hits my stomach. “Forget it, please. It was wrong of me to come and talk to you about this. You’ve got a lot going on.”
“Please,” I plead.
She wrings her fingers together. “He’s not himself. He’s been staying out late and leaving really early. I barely see him.”
“Because of me,” I whisper, slumping in my chair.
“No, because of me. I think he blames me for what happened.”
“Why on earth would he do that?”
“Because if it weren’t for me, he’d have been there for you. He could have prevented this.”
I shake my head, reaching for her hand. “No, Paisley. What Scott did is no one’s fault but my own. No one could have stopped it from happening.”
She wipes under her eyes. “I’m sorry. I had a whole conversation played out in my head but now that I’m here, I feel rude for bringing it up. I know you are still recovering.”
“You can always come to me. We are family.”
“You don’t blame me?”
“Paisley, it had nothing to do with you.”
“Not that,” she whispers. “But for Landon. For him not being around yours as much.”
Over the past month, I’ve come to realise I had been selfish when it came to Landon. I was acting like a spoilt child who had her favourite toy taken away. Landon doesn’t belong to me. He belongs to Paisley and I let my hurt over missing him make him feel guilty.
“I miss him, I’m not going to lie, but I want him to be happy, Paisley, and he’s happy with you.” I pause, hoping I’m not being rude. “But what has this got to do with what’s going on?”
“Because I don’t know what to do. I miss him. Rex misses him. And every time I’ve tried to talk to him, he’s pushed me away. And I know it’s because he blames me for him not being there for you.”
I shake my head. “He can’t protect me from everything,” I remind her. “You of all people know what the men in your life can get like. He’s just taking it hard.”
Her eyes glass over. “I know, but this is different. You two were so close before I came into the picture.”
“We still are close.”
“Not like you were,” she denies.
“Yeah, we really are. We just don’t see much of each other,” I explain. “He’s my best friend, always will be, but you’re his other half.”
She wipes her tears away. “I didn’t know who else to come to. I want to help him.”
Hearing footsteps approach, I don’t reply, waiting to see who it is. When Landon heads out of the stacks, I’m shocked.
“Shit,” Paisley whispers.
“Paisley, what are you doing here?”
“She came to see how I was,” I tell him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to see how your first day was going,” he tells me. “And to ask if it’s true that you are going to take self-defence classes.”