“If you ever want to come home, you and Katnip are welcome.”
“Dad put her in a cupboard.”
“That was your uncle Max,” Mum amends, watching me closely. “Something’s different with you.”
I blush, ducking my head. “I—”
“And you baked,” she states, utterly surprised.
I hadn’t told her about the cake I baked Drew. She knew why I had stopped baking. I had shared that knowledge with her. But I baked Drew’s without really thinking about it. It was a knee-jerk reaction from years of baking for people. Once I tried to bake after, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And just like before Drew’s cake, I didn’t find joy in it anymore. My mind reverted back to Scott’s cruel words about how disgusting they were and it was like he was standing right next to me, judging me. So, I stopped baking.
“Yeah,” I reply, glancing down.
She grabs my hand, squeezing. “I’m glad. I was beginning to worry. I know how much you love doing it. But that’s not what’s different. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
“Are you ashamed of me?” I blurt out.
Her eyebrows shoot up and her eyes widen. “What? No, never. What has brought that on?”
I play with the handle of my mug. “Because I feel like I’ve let you down. No, I know I have and all this must be bringing up bad memories for you.”
“God, Charlotte, no. Not at all. You’re my daughter and I love you. You are all that concerns me. What happened was not your fault.”
“Mum,” I whisper, her distraught expression tearing at my heart.
She wipes away a tear, clearing her throat. “I should have protected you better.”
“Mum,” I plead, but she isn’t listening, pulled under by her own nightmare.
“I shielded you from the world, kept the dangers and all the bad things away from you. Because I wanted you to be a child. I didn’t want you to be scared about the simple things in life. But I was wrong. I should have given you the chance to experience life differently.”
“Mum, I’m not stupid. I know what is out there; just because I choose to ignore it and only focus on the positive and the good in the world, it doesn’t make it your fault. Too many people focus on the negative. They leave negative reviews but never positive. They read bad press but never the good. They comment on negative statuses on Facebook, but never praise the positive. I choose to see the positive, Mum. Me. That has nothing to do with our upbringing.”
“But I—”
“If you truly believe that then you believe he hurt me because I didn’t have the experience, which in turn means I deserved it,” I rush out, needing her to really hear me. This isn’t her fault either.
She pales, a sob hitching from her throat. “No. I’ve never once thought that. Oh God.”
I reach for her hand, squeezing it. “I know that, Mum, and I know what you were trying to say to me.”
She cups my face, wiping a tear that slides down my cheek with her thumb. “I’m sorry. This happened to you, not me. I just hate that you went through it.”
“I know you do,” I whisper. I don’t like hearing the pain in her voice. “There are some other things I need to talk to you about, and I’d like it if you kept some of it between us.”
Her brows pull together. “Please tell me he hasn’t contacted you.”
“No,” I rush out, assuring her. “Can you remember the flowers I received that night?”
Her lips pinch together. “The ones me and your father think Scott sent himself?”
I nod. “I’ve received more, along with a creepy note, and looking back, I think the first one was the same. I just read it wrong.”
“Charlotte, why didn’t you say anything before?” she demands, unable to remain calm. “What did it say? Are you okay? Did they threaten you?”
I hold my hands up. “No, they didn’t threaten me. I don’t think,” I explain. “I’m telling you now. I don’t know who’s sending them or why but Madison is helping me locate the person who purchased them. And please, stop worrying. It’s nothing we can’t handle.”
“Honey, you need to take this to the police. What if he’s still around? What if it’s someone who wants to hurt you?”
A chill runs down my spine. “Mum.”
She sinks back into her chair. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Madison doesn’t believe it’s him. She doesn’t think they are from any male.”
“It doesn’t make sense.”
“I know. We can’t make sense of it either.”
“You will tell me if anything happens again, won’t you? I know you’re a grown woman, but please, give your mother peace of mind. I hate that this might guilt trip you, but I don’t sleep much during the night. I can’t. I’m petrified you’ll be hurt again.”
I pull her in for a hug because she’s seriously the best mum in the world. “I love you and I promise I’ll tell you. This was something I couldn’t explain over the phone.”
“Is there anything else?”
I bite my lip. “Don’t go crazy but I think we might have a lead on Scott.” I run over everything the girls said to me and our plan. By the time I’m finished, Mum is pale, concern written all over her face.
“I don’t like this. I know I can’t force you, but I think you should go to the police with this information. Please.”
“I’m not convinced it’s the same person they are talking about. If it is, I’ll go to the police. Pinkie promise.”
“I know you said I need to keep this between us, but your father needs to know about this. Charlotte, you can’t be lax with your safety.”
There’s nothing worse than being scolded by your mother. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know there was anything to tell until today, otherwise I would have said something sooner.”
She sighs, running her fingers through her thick red hair. “I will be telling your father and you can’t expect him to keep it quiet.”
“That wasn’t the part I wanted you to keep to yourself,” I tell her, fiddling with the rip in my jeans.
She tilts my chin up. “What did you want to tell me?”
This is harder than I thought it was going to be. I scrape the chair back, getting up. “Just give me a minute.”
She gulps. “Oh God.”
I want to share what happened. I want her to know. But to put it into words without the worry of her judging me before she knows the full story… yeah, I don’t know how to do that.
I begin to pace. “I have something important to share, something that means a lot to me, and I want you to remain unbiased,” I ramble.
“Charlotte, I say this with respect, but you’re scaring me, so get talking.”
I stop at the counter, facing her. “I don’t want anyone else to know. I can’t have people twisting or cheapening what I’m about to tell you. It wasn’t like that. I swear to you, it wasn’t like that.”
“Honey, calm down.”
“I had sex with Drew the giant and I liked it!” I groan, slapping my forehead. “That came out so wrong.”