Smiling, I put my hand in the crook of his arm and let him walk me out of the hall and through a door. We entered a car with a few people sitting here and there on luxurious blue couches. “I guess this is where the people who didn’t get suites ride?” I whispered.
Drew consulted the pamphlet. “Yep. Dining car through the next door.”
Nodding politely at the people sitting around, we walked straight through and into the next car. Row after row of four-top tables lined the walls, one at each window. We moved to the middle of the car and Drew pulled out a chair for me. “My lady.”
This train ride was the perfect distraction and pick-me-up after the emotionally tumultuous evening I’d had.
With a giggle, I picked up the menu and browsed the options. It all sounded delicious. When a server walked over, Drew ordered a bottle of wine, and I pointed to a chicken dish that sounded good. “This pasta, please, no mushrooms.”
When the waiter left, I stared at Drew for a long moment, thinking that I had gotten lucky a second time in my life. “Thank you.”
“For what?” He bunched his brows together.
“For being understanding with Clay. I didn’t know he was still there. It had to be awkward for you.”
Drew covered my hand with his. “I understand the loss you feel, and I want to be there for you.”
I turned my hand over so we linked our fingers together. “You lost someone?”
He nodded. “It feels like a lifetime ago. I was a different person then—a hunter. She was a witch.”
My heart sank while my intuition told me that another hunter took her from Drew. “I’m so sorry.”
“I was sent to kill her. When I got there, ready to take the shot, I saw something I never expected. She had a child. A girl around Sammie’s age.” Drew frowned and pulled his hand out of mine and sat back while scanning the dining car. “Before that night I didn’t associate witches with being mothers or daughters or people, really. I’d been taught they were monsters and should be put down. It’s the blind prejudices that all hunters have.”
“Is that why you stopped hunting?”
He nodded. “I was already on the way out by then. I just hadn’t fully made up my mind. Seeing Dawn with her daughter made me want to look into why she was marked for death. Once I found out she was innocent, I told her that she’d been marked. We ran with the little girl and hid out for a few years before my father and a few others caught up to us.”
I gasped, my heart aching because I knew this story didn’t have a happy ending. “They killed her?”
He nodded but said nothing.
“And the little girl?”
He gave a jerky nod and looked out the window. The backs of my eyes stung with unshed tears. The hunters had killed the child. A baby!
Drew sighed. “That was a dark time for me. After my grief of losing them subsided somewhat, I hunted down everyone who was there when she was killed and repaid the favor. All but my dad. I left him alive to remember what I am capable of. What he created.”
“Good.” We fell silent when the server brought the wine and poured it.
The rest of the meal was spent between a comfortable silence and light conversation of all the things we needed to do when we got home.
When we finished eating, Drew stood and offered his elbow again. “Shall we retire to our bedroom?”
“I—” My intent was to say something like I’d love to, or I can’t wait. Instead, I just squeaked.
“What was that?” Drew asked with a wide smile.
Clearing my throat, I tried again. “I’d love to.”
My stomach swirled in knots at the idea of going to bed with him. And not for sleeping. The memory of the kiss he gave me that morning at breakfast came rushing back. My insides heated and my private regions tingled with anticipation.
My mind was a different story. It scared the crap out of me to think about having sex with another man.
Apparently, the wine with dinner had done nothing to calm my nerves.
I was an adult. I could have casual sex and not so casual. But what if I screwed up somehow? Drew would never want me again.
I didn’t speak a word as we walked through the dining car, through the car full of plush seats, and into the hallway of our car. Ours and Olivia and Sam’s suites were the only two rooms on it. I tried to close off my ears as we passed Olivia and Sam’s door. I didn’t need to hear that mess. I definitely didn’t need any visuals those sounds would create.
As soon as Drew closed the door behind us, I scrambled forward and grabbed my suitcase. “Be right back,” I squawked in a way-too-high voice.
I opened the door to the bathroom to find it was a closet. Whoops. Whirling around, I opened the only other door, near the bed, and found a teeny-tiny bathroom with a toilet and sink and the world’s smallest shower. I wasn’t even sure my bag and I would both fit inside.
Cramming inside, I opened the bag with my back pressed against the wall and rifled through it until I found the only sexy thing I’d packed.
Ugh. Now that I looked at it in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the bathroom, I wasn’t impressed. Ugh, ugh, ugh! The beige gown was wrinkled.
And it was all I had. Damn it. Stripping quickly, I avoided looking at myself in the mirror under this lighting and turned on the faucet. Pulling out my razor, I gave my legs and armpits a quick once over.
I looked at my hair down… there. I liked to keep it pretty short, but since Clay died, I hadn’t been keeping up with it. Had no reason to. Until tonight.
There was nothing I could do about it now. I hadn’t brought my trimmer with me. Drew was just going to have to care about me with grass on the field.
What if he liked a woman to be clean-shaven? Was that in style again? Clay had always said it made him feel like a perv for me to be completely bald down there.
Well, I was as good as I was getting on a train, at least. I’d had the same makeup on all day. I could at least freshen that up a smidge.
After swiping on another layer of mascara, I pinched my lips to make them pink but didn’t do any gloss. He’d just kiss it off.
I’d put this off as long as I could. It was time. Sleeping beside him at the house had been pure bliss and at the same time, torture. Since then, I’d resolved my lingering grief with Clay. I set him free and in return, it felt good to know I had his blessing to find love again. Or just to be in a relationship again.
Nothing held me back except my sheer terror.
With one last deep breath in and out, I forced myself to open the door.
Drew sat on the edge of the bed, unbuttoning his shirt. He’d taken his shoes and socks off already. He jumped up when he saw me.
“Hey.” Drew sucked in a deep breath as if he were just as nervous as I was. At least that was reassuring. “You ready for bed?”
I nodded mutely as he finished unbuttoning his shirt, revealing a wide, strong chest.
Oh, okay. The nerves were fading. I fiddled with the hem of my wrinkled, silky gown that only came to mid-thigh. “Um.”
The uncertainty I’d seen a few seconds ago in Drew had disappeared. Or maybe he was just better at hiding it or banishing it. He stepped forward and put his hands on my bare arms, rubbing them up and down. “You’re freezing,” he whispered.
The word echoed in the room. “Freezing.”