Outside, Charlotte hisses, “You are very obviously not over Austin and… I’m sorry, Chloe, but this is bullshit. A big steaming pile of it.”
“Whoa,” I say, “I know you’re stressed but where did this come from?”
“I am stressed, yes. But you shouldn’t be living here and acting like this. What does it matter if he wants children? If he has them, they’ll be with Lucy.”
My head rears back, as if she slapped me. I know I shouldn’t care, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear it so I go on the defense, “You shouldn’t be acting like this over a simple question. I’m fine. Don’t be so high and mighty.”
“High and mighty? I’m serious. I kept my mouth shut when you moved in…”
“Oh, you kept your mouth shut? First of all, you can’t even keep your mouth shut around your fiancé’s parents, so I highly doubt this has been an ongoing concern for you while you’re wedding planning. Second of all—”
Things spiral out of control. “Wait, wait,” she says. “You want to talk about my wedding now? Do you have time between all your boyfriends? You are never around anymore.”
I gasp. “That’s not true. We’ve talked about your wedding plenty. I’m the one who made you a wedding Pinterest board. Which you have not been pinning to. Did you even look at the Twenty-Two Winter Wonderland Wedding Place Setting Ideas That Will Wow Your Guests? No, you didn’t. Aaand I sent you all those articles about how to mind control someone so you could get her to agree to the chalet. You can’t say I have neglected you or your wedding. Being engaged is—”
She cuts me off, “You have no idea what it’s like to be engaged. Or the responsibilities that come with it. No idea.”
“Nope. Cause I’m just your sad bridesmaid friend, right? Can’t find a husband, so I’m just slutting around while you live vicariously?”
She crosses her arms. “You said it, not me. And there’s nothing vicarious about this with Austin. You’re going to last a few weeks with Ryan, just like you only last a few weeks with all of them, because none of them are going to be Austin. You need an enlightening.”
I gasp again. “Whatever. Nothing’s happening with Austin. And I’m mad at you.”
“Not as mad as me.” She brushes past and back inside. “I’m going to leave.”
“Why?” Austin asks.
My phone pings and I snatch it up from the table to see a text from Ryan inviting me over to his place.
“No. You stay. I’ll go.”
How ironic. She’s asking me to change my dream and didn’t even realize it. Not that I’m still dreaming about it. But if I were, it’s very hypocritical. And I would know hypocrisy, because I’m a giant hypocrite. At least I own my flaws.
I snatch my purse from the coffee table and flee the truth about Austin.
Six
If you ever engage in a monumental argument with your best friend and need a sounding board, I highly recommend Uber.
“So, after all that, turns out my date wasn’t a virgin,” I tell my Uber driver, who is kind enough to let me unload my troubles. I’m sure he’s had worse passengers than me. Maybe not, but we’ll pretend.
“No shit?” Roger says. “Go figure. I totally thought he was. Dodged a bullet, girl.”
“Yeah. Things went well on our dates, and I’m seeing him again. We have a lot in common. It’s almost like dating myself.”
He chuckles. “That’s great. I might get bored with me. Hell, my wife gets bored with me. Hope you like yourself.”
I’m not sure I do, but that’s for another ride. “Sad to say, now I have another problem.”
“You’re too young to have so many problems. Worry ages you, you know.”
Great. Add premature aging to the list. I make a mental note to purchase wrinkle cream and get ahead of the curve since at this rate I’ll be a prune by thirty.
“Trouble seems to find me,” I say and sigh.
“You have a really interesting life,” he says. “What’s going on?”
“So, my guy roommate is a good friend whom I once crushed upon.” Our eyes meet in the rearview mirror. “Don’t judge. I know what you’re thinking. Contrary to popular opinion, I am moving on. He has a beautiful girlfriend with incredible hair. She’s super nice and excels at everything I fail at and she has her life in order…and I’m dating.”
“Ah,” he says. “Your hair is nice too. Us men really get the short end of the stick with going bald, but I’ve got this new color that you paint on and you can’t even tell my hairline is receding.”
You really can’t. “That’s awesome. It looks great.”
“Thanks. So, what happened?”
“Anyway, said roommate was making dinner for me and my best friend tonight—he’s a phenomenal chef—and dropped the bombshell that he doesn’t want children.”
“Oh. Well, they are time sucks. Can’t blame him on that one. Gimme. Gimme. Take me here. Take me there,” he grumbles. “It never ends. They’re a lifetime investment. Some pay off. Some don’t. But there are no refunds.”
“Well, my best friend, who is getting married and freaking out over her future in-laws’ interference in her wedding, thinks I’m not over him and shouldn’t be living with him. We argued and now we’re mad at each other.”
“And what do you think about living with him?”
“I think it’s fine.”
“Hm. I had a crush like that once. I still see her around from time to time.” He shakes his head. “She really messed up not picking me.”
“Who did she pick?”
“Some hotshot exec with Botox in his face. Thought only women got that, but nope. He can’t even smile. Looks angry all the time. Why would you want someone who can’t smile?”
“I wouldn’t,” I say. “She did mess up.”
“Yep,” he chirps. “But people want what they want, whether or not we like it. It’s hard to accept someone likes someone else more than you, huh?”
I nod, afraid I might cry. Honestly, I can’t say Austin messed up. Lucy is terrific. I’d pick her too.
He pulls up to Ryan’s building and parks by the entrance. “Just my two cents. Maybe you should look for another place to live. I dabble in real estate and can hook you up.”
“Thanks, Roger,” I say to the back of his shaggy cinnamon head. “You’ve been a superb listener.”
“No problem,” he says. “Sorry you had a fight with your friend. I’ve had lots of fights with my best friend. You just gotta give it some time. Let it cool off. And um, don’t forget to rate me.”
“Will do. You’re beyond five stars.” I open the door and slide out. Roger drives off with a wave and I stand transfixed until his red taillights disappear into the night.
This really sucks. Charlotte and I have never had a fight on this level. Just when I think things can’t be any suckier, they are.
In the lobby, on the way to the elevator, a deep voice calls out, “Chloe?”