Just to torture myself, and also to stay awake, I replay my misdemeanors of the last couple of days.
I’ve been an asshole.
About the baby.
Seeing Elena.
Not apologizing.
And to cap it all, I believed Ana…believed her when she said she was leaving me.
My eyes droop, and my head drops forward, jolting me awake.
Fuck.
I gaze at my wife, willing her to open her eyes.
Ana. Please. Come back to me. “And then I can apologize. Properly. Please, baby.” Taking her hand, I bring it to my lips once more and kiss each knuckle. “I miss you.”
Leaning back, I close my eyes, just for a second.
Friday, September 16, 2011
I wake a moment later. Shit. How long have I slept? I check my watch—nearly three hours. Glancing over at my wife, I see she’s still slumbering peacefully.
Except she’s not asleep. She’s unconscious.
“Come back to me, baby,” I whisper.
“Christian.”
“Dad! You startled me.”
“Sorry.” Carrick emerges from the shadows.
“How long have you been standing there?”
“Not long. I didn’t want to wake you. The nurse was just here checking Ana’s vitals. It’s all good.” He stares down at my wife. “Grace tells me she’s carrying my grandchild.” His eyes shine in reverence as he gazes at Ana.
“Yes. She is.”
“Congratulations, son.”
I give him a bleak smile. “She put the child and herself at risk.” I shiver, and don’t know if it’s because the night air is cooler or because Ana could so easily be dead.
Carrick presses his lips together, his expression grave, then turns his attention to me. “You’re exhausted. You should go home and rest.”
“I’m not leaving her.”
“Christian, you should sleep.”
“No, Dad. I want to be here when she wakes up.”
“I’ll sit with her. It’s the least I can do after she saved my daughter.”
“How’s Mia?”
“She’s asleep. She was groggy, scared, and angry. It’ll be a few hours before the Rohypnol is completely out of her system.”
“Christ.” Hyde is a sick, twisted, cocksucking son of a bitch.
“I know. I’m feeling seven kinds of foolish for relenting on her security. You warned me, but Mia is so stubborn. If it wasn’t for Ana here…”
“We all thought Hyde was out of the picture. And my crazy, stupid wife—why didn’t she tell me?” My unshed tears scald my throat.
“Christian, calm down,” he says, gently moving toward me. “Ana’s a remarkable young woman. She was incredibly brave.”
“Brave and headstrong and stubborn and stupid.” My voice breaks on the last word as I fight to contain my emotion.
But what would have happened to Mia, if not for Ana?
This is so confusing. I place my head in my hands, conflicted.
“Hey.” Dad rests his hand on my shoulder. I welcome his comforting touch. “Don’t be so hard on her, or yourself, son. I’d better get back to your mom. It’s after three in the morning, Christian. You really should try to sleep.”
“I thought Mom went home.”
Carrick blows out a breath in frustration. “She couldn’t leave Mia. She’s stubborn, like you. Congratulations again on the baby. That’s some good news, in all this mess.”
I feel the blood drain from my head—I’ll never be as good a father as Carrick.
“Hey,” he says gently. “You’ve got this.”
And because I’m weary and despondent, I’m annoyed that he’s diagnosed my anxiety so precisely.
Perceptive, Dad.
“You’ll make a great father, Christian. Stop worrying. You have several months to get used to the idea.” He pats my shoulder again. “I’ll be back later this morning.”
“Good night, Dad.” I watch him quietly close the door.
A great father, eh?
I put my head in my hands.
Right now, I just want my wife back. I don’t want to think about the baby.
I stand and stretch. It’s late. I’m stiff and sore and heartsick with worry.
Why won’t she wake up? Bending, I kiss her cheek. Her skin is soft and reassuringly warm against my lips.
“Wake up, baby,” I whisper. “I need you.”
“Good morning, Mr. Grey.”
What? Again I’m startled from my doze as the nurse opens the curtains, letting the golden fall light invade the room. It’s the older nurse—I can’t remember her name. “I’m going to check your wife’s IV fluids.”
“Sure,” I mumble. “Do I need to leave?”
“It’s up to you.”
“I’ll stretch my legs.” Feeling like shit, I get up, and with a last glance at my wife, I stagger out into the corridor. Maybe I can find some coffee.
Taylor arrives around 8:30 with my phone charger and some breakfast (courtesy of Mrs. Jones). I wonder if it’s a peace offering from her. One peek into the brown paper bag confirms that it is: two ham-and-cheese croissants. They smell divine. And I have a thermos of proper coffee. “Please thank Gail for me.”
“Will do. How is Mrs. Grey?” He looks toward Ana, his concern obvious in the tight line of his jaw.
“All signs are good. We’re just waiting for her to wake up. I can’t believe we spent last weekend at OHSU, and this weekend we’re at Northwest.”
Taylor nods sympathetically.
“You may as well stay and update me here. I don’t want to leave her side.” I offer him the seat beside me. While I eat my breakfast, he recounts all that happened after the ambulances left the crime scene.
“…and the police have recovered Mrs. Grey’s cell phone.”
“Oh.”
“She placed it in one of the duffel bags with the cash.”
“Really?” I glance at my sleeping wife. That’s genius. “We were following the money?”
“Indeed,” Taylor responds, and it’s obvious he’s impressed with Ana’s ingenuity. “The police have the cash.”