“I never looked at anyone while we were together,” I argue instead of admitting that she’s right. “It was always you.”
“Until it was him.”
Fuck. This is not how I saw this conversation going.
“Nae, can I be super fucking selfish and ask for something?”
“You can. Doesn’t mean I’ll give it to you.”
“I need you,” I say, sliding off the hood of my car to stand in front of her. “I need us.”
“There is no us.” Her brows scrunch. “I can’t be your girlfriend.”
“I understand,” I murmur, lifting my thumb to stroke her shiny, dark cheek. “But I need my best friend back. You’re the only one who gets me. Damon is cool, but with me quitting football, him and the other guys are kind of pissed at me. I’ve been avoiding them.”
“You see what you’re doing to yourself?” Naomi asks in a soft tone. “Your anger is cutting you off from everyone you care about.”
“I know. I am trying to fix at least one of those wrongs. Please, Nae, don’t let this be the end for us. I’m sorry I was a selfish prick who treated you as an accessory rather than a person. We can still be friends, right? I still want to hear you bitch about this stupid job you hate and your bratty sister. I’m pretty sure you miss discussing Mubōna Ikari and want to hear all about the fact my room is clean.”
“I don’t miss Mubōna Ikari.” She shakes her head, making a sour expression. “And it is not. Your room is always a disaster.”
“Alis cleaned it.”
Her dark eyes widen. “He was at your house?”
“Apparently, he’s teaching Carrie some violin shit. She seemed pretty happy about it.”
“So, not only did he go to your house, but he also cleaned your room and survived?” She laughs. “Now that is a surprise. You’re right. You’ve hooked me. I need to know more.”
“Everything you said was true. The stalking and the anger. And, somewhere over the past few days, it’s transformed into something else. I don’t know what’s happening to me, and I have no one who I love or trust to discuss it with. Just you.” I sigh and look up at the sky. “It’s a dick move to ask you to be that person for me, but I’m going crazy, Nae.”
She laughs and pats my chest. “You were always a little unhinged. Now you finally see it.”
“Ha. Ha.” I look down at her, my brow lifted in faux annoyance.
“All right,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “We can be friends. But I need something from you too.”
“Name it.”
“I’m going to get out there and start dating again. For several months, I’ve felt alone while inside a relationship. Helpless to do anything about it. I want to make sure you’re going to be okay because I love you for some dumb reason, but I want you to support me when I start seeing someone else. If you’re going to act like a dick and pissy about it, then I’ll know all of this talk was bullshit.” She places her hands on her hips, lifting a brow as if daring me to argue. “That’s the deal.”
“As long as it’s not Alis, you can date whoever you want.”
“You’re not my dad, so I can date whoever I want regardless of what you think, but I have to say, I’m not at all shocked.”
“It’s just because he’s gay, and it’d be a waste of time,” I grumble, not meeting her penetrative stare.
“Right. And because you like him.”
“I do not like him. Not like that.”
“I thought we were supposed to be friends now. You really going to sit there and lie to me?”
“That’s the part that doesn’t make sense.” I spear my fingers through my hair, messing it up. “I don’t like him. At all. In fact, I’ve destroyed our relationship because of it.” I gesture between us. “But, I’m fucking attracted to him, Nae. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Again. Bisexual.”
“No, I mean, him. Why him? Why not Damon or your manager Todd? Why not half the football team? Why my enemy?”
“He doesn’t have to be your enemy, you know. Maybe we should all go out one day, as friends. Me, you, him, and Leon.” She shrugs. “Get to know him better. Maybe he’s not as bad as you have him built up to be in your head.”
He’s not.
He’s so much more than what I expected.
I can’t admit that, though.
“I’m sure Leon would love that.” I let out a snort.
“What does that mean?”
“Like you don’t notice the way he looks at you.”
“As a matter of fact,” she grinds out, “I don’t. But, in case you need reminding, you’re not allowed to get jealous. You’re my friend, not my boyfriend. That’s it. Is this going to be a problem?”
“No, ma’am.”
She smacks my arm, grinning. “You’re such a dick.”
“You still love me.”
“Whatever, boy.”
I pull her to me for a long hug before releasing her. My spirits are lifted considerably knowing I haven’t completely fucked things up as far as Naomi’s concerned.
Now, if I could just figure out what the hell I’m going to do about Alis.
Intense violin playing can be heard upstairs, and for a moment, I wonder if Alis is here too. But, since I didn’t see his car out front, I can guess it’s just Carrie practicing. Mom isn’t in any of the front rooms, no surprise there, so I check her bedroom. She’s curled into a ball in the middle of the bed, breathing softly as she sleeps. Her purse is still on the bed beside her. When I pick it up to move it, something rattles. I set it down on the dresser and then fish out a couple of pill bottles.
Xanax and Prozac.
I suck in a deep breath and exhale slowly. She’s depressed, which is no surprise. But seeing the proof of it is difficult. My mood, which had improved after seeing Naomi, immediately turns bitter.
Walking upstairs, I make a beeline for Carrie’s room. She’s no longer playing the violin. I peek inside to find her lying on her back, texting someone.
“Staying out of trouble?”
She jolts at my deep voice and flips me off. “I’m being an angel, Dad.”
Dad.
She’s going to be pissed about what I have to say, but there’s no sense in putting it off. I let out a sigh and rip off the proverbial Band-Aid.
“You know we have to go to the wedding, right?”
She sits up, her blue eyes wide and horrified. “No. We do not.”
“We do. We’ll regret it one day if we don’t.” That’s a big fucking lie, but I made a deal with Alis. And keeping my end of the deal means saying whatever’s necessary to get my grudge-holding sister there.
“I will regret nothing. Maybe Dad will regret ruining our family.”
Frustration rattles through me. I guess this is what Naomi felt like any time I bitched about Dad.
“I can’t pretend to understand or know what Dad was thinking, but it still doesn’t change the fact he’s getting married, and we need to go.”