“Thank you,” Dad says, shaking the doctor’s hand. “We’ll be back up here first thing in the morning.”
I don’t want to leave, but relief over her well-being floods through me, drowning me in sudden fatigue. I falter on my feet, and if it weren’t for Alis’s grip on my arm, I’d drop right to the floor.
“Come on,” Alis says. “Let’s go home.”
It’s nearly three in the morning by the time everyone goes to bed. Thunder rumbles close by, and the sky lights up in warning of an impending storm. Carrie is staying in the guest room downstairs until things get settled. I’m thankful Dad is taking care of her. Alis is taking care of me. The normally strong Voss kids aren’t so strong at all right now.
Once the lights go out in the house, and everyone is in bed, I drag my pillow into Alis’s room. We strip down to our underwear and climb into bed. I curl around him, needing his scent and touch consuming me. As soon as my bare skin presses against his, I’m not so sleepy anymore. The lightning outside flickers in through his window, highlighting his form every few seconds. His white-blond hair seems to illuminate as though he’s an ethereal night fae. I’m mesmerized by the pale curves of his shoulder and bicep. Gently, I stroke my finger over his flesh. His body shudders, and he sucks in a deep breath.
I want him.
No, I need him.
He must sense me before I pounce because he rolls onto his back as my body crashes against his. A whine escapes him, and I remember he’s still sore from getting his ass kicked. I’ll need to be gentler. My lips eagerly seek out his, hungry for his tongue and taste. A groan rumbles through me in unison with the thundering outside in the storm. I want to nip at his mouth all night long, grinding my cock against his because it feels good. Really fucking good. And after the day I’ve had, I’m craving something wonderful.
Like Wonderland.
“Alis,” I murmur against his lips. “I need inside you.”
He whimpers, lifting his hips to meet my anxious thrusts. “Yes.”
Not having to be told twice, I sit up on my knees. He turns onto his stomach and reaches into his bedside table. The lube gets tossed over to me. With eager hands, I yank off his red briefs and then slip out of my boxers. His pale ass almost glows in the moonlight as he humps the bed. I’m so fucking hard for him. My cock drips with sticky pre-cum, my need almost unbearable. Flipping off the cap on the lube, I douse my dick in lubricant and quickly slick up my shaft. He gasps when my slippery fingers find his crease. Easily, I find his puckered hole and push my fingertip inside of him.
“Ungh.” He shudders, pressing against my intrusion. “Canyon. Please.”
“Bare?”
“Fuck, yes.”
A smile twitches at my lips as I kneel between his thighs. He continues to hump the bed, his asshole squeezing my finger. Once I’ve inserted another and feel as though he’s ready, I pull them out. With one hand gripping my dick and the other on the bed, holding me up, I press the tip of my crown against his tight hole. A whine squeaks out of him as I slowly push into him.
Goddamn, he’s tight.
Stars glitter in the darkness as the pleasure of slowly sheathing myself inside him consumes me. He’s tense, clenching his ass cheeks together, which feels like fucking bliss.
Holy fuck.
I’m going to come.
I still my body, needing to get a hold of myself so I don’t come before my first real thrust. Once my crown fully breaches the constricted ring of muscles at his opening, his body sucks me inside. I fall against his back, sliding fully in quicker than I mean to.
“Ahh!” he cries out.
Again, I’m reminded of his sore ribs. Fuck. It’s difficult to be gentle when all I want to do is crush my body against his, melding us together as one. My heart is thundering in my chest, and our bodies are slick with sweat. I rock my hips, needing to feel more of his exquisite heat. The warring emotions from the day, anger and sadness, are slaughtered by pure want. Desire drives me to fuck into him hard and almost desperately.
But then I hear it, muffled beneath the loud thunder outside.
A whimper.
No, a sob.
The whole bed begins to tremble. Panic seizes me. I stroke my fingers through his hair and kiss the side of his neck, stalling my movement, though it feels impossible when I’m on the brink of bliss.
“Talk to me, Wonderland. Am I hurting you?”
He cries harder. As much as I’d love to continue to buck into him, I’m certainly not doing it when he cries. I slip out of him, but that only seems to make him really lose it.
“Shh, babe, Alis. Shh, talk to me. It’s okay. We don’t have to do this.”
I roll him onto his back, seeking out his lips so I can kiss him and make it all better. His bottom lip trembles as I gently suck on it, needing him to speak to me. Finally, he utters out words I’m not expecting to hear.
“This is my f-first t-time.”
My dick is throbbing angrily against his, but it wilts at his words. First time? But he said…
“Alister,” I growl, fury bleeding into my tone. “If I’d known…fuck!”
“No,” he chokes out. “I wanted it. I still want it. With you. Only you. I just…I didn’t.” Another sob. “It hurt.”
Because I shoved it in and started fucking him like an asshole.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
“Canny. Don’t. I just…I need to adjust. I still want it.” He pauses. “I should have told you. I let you believe I’d been with others like this, but I haven’t.”
The worry over him fades as possessiveness curls around a heart that’s so full of him these days, like thorny vines or barbed wire tightening and puncturing the bloody organ. Knowing we’re each other’s first male-on-male fuck settles something inside me. Something I didn’t realize was wrecked and lost. It grounds me. Gives me purpose. Strengthens me. Everything is fucked up in my life.
Not this.
Not him.
This is perfect and real and ours.
Forbidden, true, but sweet as fucking pie.
“Tell me when you’re ready, and we’ll try again,” I assure him. “Just like this. So I can kiss your pretty dick-sucking lips and look into your soul.”
The room lights up again, highlighting his face as if on cue. Rain is coming down in sheets outside, and the wind is fierce.
“Didn’t know football players were such poets,” he teases, his voice sounding more like his own, though still slightly wobbly.
“Ex-football player. And I’m a romantic now. I have a boyfriend.”
A small chuckle rumbles through him. “A boyfriend? Voss, I’m your brother. You’re so confused.”
I nip at his teasing mouth, earning a groan from him. We kiss eagerly until he’s ripping at my hair and begging me to put my dick inside him again. I finally put both of us out of our misery, easing my dick inside his clenching channel.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
“Wonderland?”
“Still good. Keep going.”
With the patience of a saint, I slide in at a snail’s pace until I’m fully seated in his perfect, tight body. Rather than moving, I take my time worshipping his lips and cheeks and jaw. Wherever I can rain kisses down on him, I do. I spoil him with tenderness until he’s begging for me to move. His ragged breath tickles my face, and his whimpers are so fucking lovely.