That night we danced to the Spinners’ “Could It Be I’m Falling in Love,” Oliver’s parents’ first-dance song. We were creating a new story. Breaking generational curses and making new traditions. And from that point on, Oliver and I would be dancing together for the rest of our lives.
OLIVER
Two Years Later
It had been a long time since I’d felt lost. Don’t get me wrong: I still experienced sadness, but working with Abigail, I’d learned better ways of coping with my emotions over time. There was a point in my life where the bad days outweighed the good, so coming to the place where I was now, I was overwhelmed by how many great days I’d experienced.
Thank God I didn’t give up on my life. Thank God I kept fighting through the darkness. If I’d given up all those years ago, when I was at my lowest, feeling as if death was closer to me than life, I never would’ve made it to this very moment. I never would’ve discovered my true happiness.
As I breathed in the autumn air, the breeze brushed against my face, and Emery laughed with Reese as they lay in the grass staring up at the fading sunset. My little boy, Alex, lay on his stomach, trying his best to figure out how to crawl, wiggling his body back and forth repeatedly. On the speaker, music blasted loudly. It was smooth music, with a calming characteristic to it.
It was my birthday. Each year on my birthday, the family went to Alex’s grave site, and we’d play him our favorite songs of the current year and talk to him. We’d tell him the ups and downs of life and celebrate him. Every time a breeze passed, I knew he was there with us. Even though we couldn’t see him, I felt his spirit surrounding me.
It was also tradition to sing “Godspeed,” by James Blake. This year, Reese sang along with me before she wished her uncle Alex a happy birthday. A song that had once brought me heartache now stood for something beautiful.
I stood to my feet and held my hand out to Emery, who, without question, placed her hand into mine. I pulled her up, and we began swaying back and forth against one another. We danced to the music as my daughter sat beside her brother, rocking back and forth, trying to help him figure out how to move forward to his new life of discovery.
Emery laid her head against my shoulder, and I held her as close to me as possible.
Her lips touched my earlobe as she whispered against my skin, “Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
No day was perfect. Not every day ended with slow dances and laughter, or smiles and happiness, but each day was worth it. Each day was worth living because it led to the better tomorrows, the brighter days, the happily ever after. This was our life. It had its ups and downs, but without question, it was ours. This was our mixtape, and I was damn proud of it.
I was overwhelmed in that moment with the best truth I’d encountered. A truth I hadn’t thought I’d ever achieve, but I was so happy that it had finally found its way to me:
I want to be here.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Firstly, I would like to thank you, the reader, for taking the time to meet Emery and Oliver. Their story was a labor of love, and it means the world to me that you’ve given this story a chance. Without you all, these characters never would’ve come to life. Your support never goes unnoticed.
Up next are my extremely talented and kind editors from Montlake, Alison and Holly. Without your patience, support, and brilliant ideas, this story would still be unfinished. From our emails to our phone calls, thank you for helping me take these characters to the next level. Your creativity and allowance for me to explore have been a gift. Working with you both has been such an honor. Thank you.
Thank you to my amazing agent, Flavia, who held my hand the whole way and talked plot with me day in and day out. You’ve always been in my corner, and I am lucky to have you by my side.
To my family and friends who understand that sometimes I disappear for a while to finish a book, or I randomly start talking to my characters at dinners out—thanks for not calling me weird. And thanks for allowing me to still go out to dinner with you, even if I’m not always there mentally. You give me the space to be creative, and I hope you know I’ll always give you that same love and respect back.
Thank you to Amazon Publishing for taking a chance on me. From the editing team, to the PR group, to the cover designers—I am so grateful.
And once again, we are going to end this the same way we began. Thank you, readers. Your love and support keep me going. Thank you for stamping my heart. You are my favorite songs on my mixtape.
—BCherry
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Photo © 2018 Keith Gasper
Brittainy Cherry has been in love with words since she took her first breath. She graduated from Carroll University with a bachelor’s degree in theater arts and a minor in creative writing. She loves writing screenplays, acting, and dancing—poorly, of course. Coffee, chai tea, and wine are three things she thinks every person should partake in. Cherry lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. When she’s not running a million errands and crafting stories, she’s probably playing with her adorable pets.