“I would be taking Isaac with me when I leave,” Shelly said simply.
James felt his gut clench and his heart thump. “That’s bullshit,” he said sharply. “His mother—or father,” he added, realizing that was a possibility now, “left him with me. They wanted him to be with me.”
Shelly nodded. “I understand that. And that’s a consideration, to an extent.”
“To an extent?” James said, his voice rising a bit again. “What the fuck does that mean?”
Isaac started and his face wrinkled. Harper rubbed his back and cooed to him softly while James worked to regulate his blood pressure.
“From what I understand, there was a note,” Shelly said, totally keeping her cool.
James supposed that she encountered plenty of emotional, angry people in her line of work.
“There was.”
“Do you still have it?”
“I do.”
“Can I see it?”
James went straight for the area of his kitchen counter where he kept his stack of bills to pay and a shopping list. He pulled the note out and handed it over to Shelly before settling back on the couch with Harper. He was sure she could feel the tension in his body. He didn’t think he’d be getting rid of that any time soon, no matter how hard he tried to relax.
Shelly glanced at the note—it wasn’t long and didn’t take long to read—then looked up. “This is a bit of a problem.”
“Why?”
“There’s no name. This could have been written by anyone. You could have written it.”
James glared at her. “I didn’t fucking write it.”
“I believe you,” Shelly said. “But a judge might not.”
“A judge?” Harper asked.
“This baby has been abandoned,” Shelly explained. “Lexi said she didn’t think that you’re already foster parents?”
“No,” James confirmed, knowing where this was going.
“There’s a process for all of this. If you want to work on becoming a foster parent or look into adoption, all of that is fine, of course.”
“But,” Harper prompted. “In the meantime…”
“The baby will go to a foster home.”
“The mother fucking gave him to me,” James said through gritted teeth. “She wanted him with me. That should matter.”
“And it might,” Shelly agreed. “I’m sure the court will take that into consideration, but”—she shrugged—“it would be so much easier if you knew who she was, if she could be a part of this.”
“How could she be a part of it?” Harper asked.
“It could be arranged as a private adoption,” Shelly said. “There would need to be lawyers involved, of course, but if the mother chose you as parents and could sign over her rights officially and testify, this would all be much easier.”
“And the foster system could be avoided,” James said.
“Yes.” Shelly leaned forward. “But I assure you that he will be placed in a good home, James. There’s no reason to be afraid of that.”
“Of course there is,” James said, trying to keep his voice down. “Because it’s not here, with us.”
Shelly pressed her lips together and nodded.
“James—” Lexi started.
“Why did you tell her?” James asked. “Why did you bring her into this?”
Lexi frowned. “You need to know what your options are now. He’s not yours. You can’t just… keep him.”
“Why not?” James felt frustration and anger and fear all coursing through him, burning in his veins.
“There are processes and laws in place for a reason,” Shelly said. “Becoming parents to a child is not like adopting a kitten. You can’t just pick one up out of a box with a sign that says free to a good home.” She held up the note that had been in the basket with Isaac. “That’s not how it works, and that’s for the protection of the child and for you. If the mother decided to come back in a month or a year or five years, you’d want to have all of your ducks in a row, right? You’d want to have gone through the correct legal procedures to protect Isaac, and make sure everything happens in his best interest.”
“We are in his best interest,” James insisted. “What will happen if I do just keep him? What if we just keep doing things just as we’ve been doing them?” He looked at Shelly. “Will you turn us in?”
“All of the things we talked about the other day will still be issues, then,” Lexi said before Shelly could answer. “Just medically speaking, this is complicated, not to mention legally. You don’t know anything about her pregnancy, his birth, the family history. You can’t just show up at a doctor’s office without any of that and not raise suspicion, James. And you don’t even have your half of the medical history to refer to. You can’t claim that you’re the father and she just left you with the kid. You have no rights here.”
James could tell this was hard for Lexi, but she was trying to be a good friend and be honest.
He didn’t care.
He was angry. And scared. And sad.
He was losing his son. Isaac might not be his biologically, and therefore, legally, but dammit, James felt like the baby was his.
“I can come back tomorrow. I can handle the case personally and keep you as updated on things as I’m able,” Shelly said. “I will keep you in the loop as much as I can.”
“I could just take off with him tonight,” James said.
“You won’t,” Lexi told him. “You wouldn’t do that. You have a job, family, friends.” She shot a look at Harper. “You have lots of reasons to stay. Don’t do anything stupid.”
“And that would be kidnapping. And then the police would get involved. And you don’t want that,” Shelly added.
James glared at her. She didn’t even blink.
He could only imagine some of the shit she’d seen and done in her line of work. He saw plenty just in what he did as a firefighter.
He didn’t say anything more. He didn’t have to confirm that he wasn’t going to go anywhere with Isaac tonight. But he also didn’t have to act happy and agreeable about any of this.
Shelly stretched to her feet. She laid a business card on the coffee table. “If you have any questions, even later on tonight, please feel free to call me,” she said. “That’s my cell number. I answer twenty-four seven.”
James just nodded. Shelly started for the door. Lexi stood and stepped around the coffee table. She paused beside the couch and put a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.”
He looked up and forced himself to give her a nod. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d given him a DNA test. It had turned out he wasn’t the father. That wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault that he’d so easily accepted the idea that Isaac was his without waiting for proof. It also wasn’t her fault that he’d immediately started looking for one of his past hookups to be the mother, further enforcing the idea in his mind that he was now a dad.
“I know,” he told her. “It’s okay.”