She fell quiet.
He hoped she was turning that over in her mind . . . seeing that this was right for both of them.
She nodded once, the motion as stiff as a robot. “This is it then. We’re done.”
“It’s just not the same anymore. Haven’t you felt it too?” he pressed, hoping to get her to at least admit that. Maybe it was just to make himself feel better, but he needed her to say it.
“You mean have I felt you pulling away? You rejecting my every effort to pull us back together? Your impatience with me? Yeah, I felt that. I felt all of that.”
Okay, so maybe it really was all on him. Maybe he didn’t get to feel better about this and that was simply his burden to bear.
“That’s fair.” He nodded. He’d take the hit. He’d be truthful. “I guess it’s me. I just don’t feel the same way anymore, Priscilla.”
“Well, isn’t that great for you?” She released a bitter laugh. “You want to know how I feel? I feel like I just wasted two years of my life on you.”
He shook his head, genuinely sad she felt that way. “I don’t feel like that. Not at all. I don’t regret us. We were good when we were good, Priscilla.”
Her laugh twisted even more. “Are you kidding me?”
He blew out a frustrated breath.
It made sense to him. But then this breakup made sense to him and not to Pris. There was no easy way through this.
She continued, “We were good when we were good? What the hell is that supposed to even mean? Is that from a fortune cookie or something?”
Maybe it would never make sense to her. Maybe anything that came out of his mouth right now would only succeed to hurt and anger her and he just had to accept that.
She looked away from him, across the parking lot, her nostrils flaring as she inhaled. “Who have you told?”
He blinked. “What do you . . . mean?” he said haltingly. “I haven’t told anyone. I’m telling you. I’m telling you now. Only you.”
She looked back at him with sharp annoyance, her eyes bloodshot. “Your sister? Beau? Who knows? You need to tell me.”
He shook his head, confused by her train of thought. “I haven’t told anyone, Priscilla. I’m telling you. Now. Why would I tell anyone before you?”
She gave him a disgusted look. “You’re breaking up with me. Dumping me. And you seem pretty determined about it. When things end, it’s never pretty.”
“I thought we could be better than that. We can keep it civil, maybe be friends in time.”
“And I thought we were going to be together forever. I guess we were both wrong.”
“I guess so,” he agreed slowly.
She sighed and blinked her eyes as though fighting off tears.
Ah, damn. He didn’t enjoy making her cry, but he didn’t know how to make this any easier. Was there any way to make her feel better? He took an uncertain step toward her, and she stopped him with a swift swipe of her hand through the air. “Stop. Don’t even think it. Do not touch me.”
He jerked to a halt, holding himself apart from her.
She dropped her hand to her side and lifted her chin defiantly. “Is there someone else?” Her gaze pinned him to the spot with such laser-beam precision that he feared she could see beneath his skin and bones to the truth of him.
Seconds ticked and he didn’t answer right away. “No. Of course not.” By the time he got the words out, it was too late. He took too long to respond.
“There is someone else,” she accused with a hard nod, full of conviction.
“Priscilla, no. There isn’t. Things have been off for some time now and that isn’t because of anyone.”
Her eyes narrowed to slits. “Maybe. But maybe there’s someone you’re thinking about. You might have been thinking about dumping me, but what compelled you to finally act? Who?”
He fought to school his expression into impassivity. Was she right?
Since the night at her house, Hayden was there in his mind every time he closed his eyes. Was she the reason he was finally standing here? Doing this?
“Fine,” she bit out into the stretch of silence. “Deny it. The truth will come out eventually, I’m sure.” She looked him up and down in scathing contempt, heaved a breath, and swung around on her heels, yanking the door to her car open.
Nolan stood back a few feet as she started the car, well aware that in her present mood, she could run him down.
She rolled down the window. “Don’t call me out of some noble sense of obligation. You ended this. Just let it be over. I might have to see you around school, but I don’t want to hear from you.”
Then she was gone.
He watched as she tore out of the parking lot and then he glanced around, noting that a few people were staring at him.
He and Priscilla hadn’t been completely audience-free, after all.
Despite the ugly last few minutes—a lightness filled his chest, spreading and eclipsing any lingering regret.
He turned and walked back to his car alone for the first time without Priscilla or his sister. Alone for the first time in a long time. And that felt okay.
Lesson #23
Everyone talks.
x Hayden x
It was all over school by the next day.
Hayden may not travel in the highest social circles of Travis High School, but the news trickled down to even her lowly outcast earholes.
She was sitting in third period when she heard two girls talking behind her. Hayden stilled, listening, absorbing the words, and feeling more things than she should. A maelstrom of feelings. Too many to recognize.
Nolan broke up with her.
Right there in the parking lot yesterday.
Hannah saw them and then Priscilla hauled ass out of the there. She looked pissed.
Hayden’s fingers tightened around her pencil as she replayed the gossip over and over in her head. He broke up with his girlfriend. She let that sink in.
Nolan broke up with his girlfriend.
After Hayden kissed him. It was coincidental. It had to be. Right?
She didn’t want the responsibility of that. She—their kiss—could not have anything to do with them breaking up.
She wasn’t responsible for anyone except herself. It had always been that way. Almost from the beginning—right out of the womb.
She knew the kiss was wrong. She’d known it was wrong the moment she did it. Not only did Nolan have a girlfriend (she never knowingly messed around with guys in relationships before), he was totally not her type. For starters, he was the kind of guy who did relationships. He was a commitment guy, and she was not a commitment girl.
Did Nolan tell his girlfriend about the kiss? Correction. Ex-girlfriend. She grimaced at that possibility. Was this the result of a guilty conscience? He seemed like that kind of guy. A guy with a conscience. A good guy.
She had known so few of those, but she recognized that in him. She hoped he hadn’t confessed the kiss to Priscilla. She didn’t need some cheerleader with a vendetta after her. And it wouldn’t be just one cheerleader. They moved in a pack. She’d have a group of them after her. God, she’d prefer a zombie horde to a pack of cheerleaders, at least she would be prepared for zombies.
Hayden moved through the day in a fog, but perked up on the way to sixth period.