Thanatos drew down a subtle, steadying breath, and let it leak from his lips. It was better he didn’t act on his desire. He wasn’t equipped to handle a touch from her, so how would he fare if it went any further than that? The briefest caress of her fingers on his arm had come close to felling him, but it had stirred a terrible darkness in him too, a need to push her away and lash out at her to protect himself.
He studied the terrain, wanted to groan when he realised that it was at least a week or more to the border of this realm and a point where they could teleport to the palace, ending this torment.
Thanatos wasn’t sure he would survive it, not without surrendering to this need growing inside him, or possibly dying from trying to leave it unfulfilled.
Perhaps that was a touch overdramatic, but as he gazed at Calindria, he felt sure he might die if he didn’t caress that smooth, pale skin and learned the answer to the question—how would she react?
Accept his touch or push him away?
If she accepted it, where would it end?
He really wanted to groan as he thought about where he wanted it to end.
Thanatos shut that line of thought down, before images of her beneath him, her bare body arching to meet his and pleasure rolling across her beautiful face—pleasure he had given her—could fill his mind.
He curled his hands into fists and steeled himself, resolved to resist the attraction he felt towards her.
She shattered that resolve in an instant as she glanced at him.
Her eyes collided with his and the way her pupils dilated to darken the blue of her irises filled him with a hunger to fulfil that silent request to kiss her.
“Are you well?” she said, all innocence, as if she didn’t know what she did to him, how she inflamed him, had him going in circles whenever he was around her, at war with himself.
He shrugged it off and was quick to say, “I’m fine.”
“You look flushed.” And she looked as if she was considering lifting her hand to touch his face.
If she did, it would be game over. He would kiss her.
He cleared his throat and tamped down that urge, wrestling himself back under control.
“I’m fine.” He didn’t mean to be short with her, but his words came out brusque.
She arched an eyebrow at him and looked away from him, wrapped one arm around herself in a way that made him feel like a cold bastard. He marvelled at that. When he spoke that way with anyone else, he felt nothing, but when he was curt with her, he felt bad.
Gods, what was this female doing to him?
There was something about this petite, beautiful goddess that tied him in knots. Made him weak. He tried to shake it off, tried to push this need building inside him to the back of his mind and claw back his resolve to focus on his mission and his duties.
Only the hunger she had awakened in him refused to be tamed. It only burned more fiercely as they walked, as his damned senses locked onto her and his mind focused on how close she was to him. How sweet she smelled. How hot she had made his blood run with only a look, one that had revealed he wasn’t the only one thinking wicked things.
Thanatos scrubbed a hand down his face, barely suppressing a groan. His mood soured further with each step, the war raging inside him refusing to end, making him grouchy as he went in circles, torn between wanting her and needing to deny his desire. He hadn’t wanted a female in centuries, hadn’t had one in centuries, had taken care of his own needs since what had happened to him.
He told himself that he didn’t need a female now either.
He didn’t need her.
Her gaze falling on him had flames licking through his blood, made it thunder so hard he couldn’t breathe.
“Are you sure you are all right?” Her tone was soft, almost tender, filled with concern that aggravated him for some reason.
“I’m fine,” he snapped.
“You seem rather short-tempered all of a sudden,” she muttered and scowled at him. “Do you need to rest?”
He needed something, but he wasn’t about to tell her that, feared it would frighten her. He had no right to want her anyway.
“If I am short-tempered, it is because you will not leave me alone.” He shot her a black look, one that made him feel like a bastard again but one that was necessary to keep enough distance between them. “I do not need to rest.”
He did need to rest, knew it would go a long way towards easing his mood, but he didn’t want to do it out here, in the open. She needed to rest too. Her pace was slowing again, her sighs coming more frequently. Although, that might be his fault. He wasn’t exactly being good company for her.
He reminded himself that being good company wasn’t necessary. He was here to fulfil his mission and get her safely home. That was all.
Thanatos looked around at the valley, scouting the land and looking for a place that might work as a rest stop. The featureless valley bottom provided no cover though, and resting would expose them to whatever fell creatures were still screeching and shrieking in the distance.
He beat his wings, restless with a need to use them. “If you would let me fly you, I could get you to a safe place to rest quicker.”
She didn’t respond to that, was too busy looking longingly at her empty waterskin. He was parched too. Once he had found them a safe place to rest, he would find a clean source of water. Maybe dehydration was the reason they were being so grouchy with each other.
He ignored the voice in the back of his mind that whispered it wasn’t and that the reason they were both on edge around the other was because they both wanted something they shouldn’t. They both felt the undeniable pull towards each other, and gods, both of them knew it wouldn’t end well.
Thanatos focused on charting the valley, his gaze scanning everything, from the volcano to his right that glowed with rivers of lava, to the endless black to his left. Maybe if he could find them a place to make camp, he could use the excuse of finding water to seek a private place where he could take the edge off his mood.
Just the thought of that had him hardening in his black leathers.
He twisted slightly away from Calindria so she wouldn’t notice and paused as his gaze skipped over something that hadn’t been there a moment ago. His eyes darted back to it, his hand going to his sword, in case it was one of those creatures come to try to eat them.
It was a fell beast, but not one he had expected.
He stared across the flat field of basalt at the curvy silver-haired female clad in tight black leather.
The demigoddess.
It couldn’t be.
Rage poured through him even as his mind supplied that this was a realm of lies, that it showed them things from their past, twisting dark memories into living nightmares. It was all an illusion.
Thanatos tried to convince himself of that, but the anger that had lived within him like an eternal flame for centuries burned all reason away. The need to kill rose swiftly, filling his mind with the enticing thought of finally having his revenge by claiming the head of this bitch.
She would pay for what she had done to him, for how she had ruined his life.
He glanced at Calindria, a swift look to check she was still there before his gaze whipped back to the demigoddess, as if she were a magnet and he was powerless against her pull.
“Stay put,” Thanatos muttered.
And kicked off, spreading his wings and beating them hard.