She had been alone so long already. The thought of passing the rest of her life in that way damn near killed her. Somehow, she would find a way to control her power, no matter how long it took. She would strive until she could live her life surrounded by those she cared about, without fear of harming them.
Calindria wanted to sink onto her chair, some wretched part of her aching to give up already. She denied it. She wouldn’t be like Thanatos. She couldn’t. She looked at him, realising how bleak she had to look as she struggled with herself, with the thought she might never know physical contact again.
And if she did, it wouldn’t bring her pleasure.
It would only cause fear, pain.
She would be constantly afraid of hurting the person she was touching.
“Calindria,” Thanatos murmured softly, his black eyebrows furrowing as he came to her, as he stared deep into her eyes. His fingers flexed again and war erupted in his eyes, a war she was desperate for him to lose this time.
Couldn’t he see how much she needed him?
Couldn’t he see how much this was killing her?
Even if he only did it out of pity, she needed him to touch her. She needed to know there was someone in this world she wouldn’t hurt—couldn’t hurt.
“Thanatos,” she breathed, tears blurring her vision as she looked up at him, as she ached for him to go through with it this time. He had wanted to kiss her more than once, she was sure of it, but each time he had resisted, had hardened himself and walked away. She wasn’t sure she could bear it if he did that this time.
“Earlier… when I went after that female.” He heaved a sigh that shifted every muscle on his bare chest, enticing her and making her want to reach out and risk touching him. She couldn’t. She was too afraid. She needed him to be the one to start this, to give up this foolish fight and surrender. His fingers twitched again, stretching and curling, and the furrow between the black slashes of his eyebrows deepened. “If I looked as if I wanted to do anything other than cleave her head from her body, then it is your fault.”
Her eyebrows knitted. “My fault? How is it my fault?”
“You—” He flexed his fingers and she wasn’t sure whether he wanted to strike her or caress her.
There was so much fire in his eyes, so much heat.
She gasped as he suddenly banded his strong arms around her and hauled her against him.
Moaned as he claimed her lips.
Chapter 16
Thanatos’s kiss seared her, set her on fire until she was sure she was going to burn to ashes in his arms. Calindria moaned and pressed her fingers into his bare chest, shivered at his possessiveness as he growled and pulled her closer still. Her heart thundered in time with his, galloping fiercely and robbing her of breath.
Gods.
Calindria had fantasised from time to time about kissing, even before she had been captured and had grown into an adult, her desires awakening as she had matured. She had never quite imagined it would be like this though.
This was addictive.
This kiss possessed her, claimed her, seared his name on her soul.
And she wanted more.
She smoothed her palms over his hard chest, heat blooming swiftly inside her as she felt his muscles, his skin, smooth velvet over solid stone. There was power in his body, strength that spoke to her on some deeply primal level, rousing feelings she had never experienced before. She needed him desperately, as if he was more vital than air, as if only their bodies entwining could relieve her of this punishing hunger he had awoken in her. She felt as if she might die if she didn’t get what she wanted, if he stopped before he had given all of himself to her.
This kiss wasn’t enough.
He must have felt it too because he bent and lifted her, planting his large hands right on her backside. Her eyes widened, a gasp escaping her as he palmed her bottom, as he deepened the kiss and growled into her mouth. She wanted to growl right back at him but didn’t have the courage, could only squeak as he twisted with her and carried her to the reclining chair she had made.
Thanatos set her down at the end of the seat of it, kneeled before her and broke the kiss. His eyes were blue fire as he raked them over her, seared her and made her hyper-aware of her body, of how little of it was covered. He flexed his fingers and then dropped his hands, his eyes growing hooded as he placed them on her legs. The wicked heat that licked at her veins blazed hotter as he parted her thighs, his hands caressing them, sending a shiver along her legs that pooled in her abdomen.
“Thanatos,” she breathed with a tremble in her voice, one born not of fear nor nerves, but of need.
He groaned, the sound thrilling her, and pressed his thumbs into her flesh, eased his hands upwards towards the juncture of her thighs. She shivered again, her breath stuttering as the feel of him touching her in a way no male had before him overwhelmed her. On a wanton moan, she gave in to the urges running rampant through her, let herself fall back onto the seat and stretched her arms above her head.
Thanatos growled, the low rumbling sound sending another electric thrill chasing through her as she heard the possession in it, the need, and saw it in his eyes too as he drank his fill of her.
Calindria licked her lips and bliss rolled through her as he groaned again, as his eyes fell there and scalded her with the heat of need that shone in them. He wanted to kiss her again. She wanted that too, couldn’t stop herself from trying to rub her thighs together to satisfy the ache building between them as she stared at him, goading him into trying to kiss her because he would have to cover her body with his to achieve it.
She wanted to feel the weight of him on top of her again.
Wanted to feel the heat of him inside her.
She writhed at just the thought, moaned and let her eyes fall shut as fierce heat flooded her, twisted together inside her into a tight knot, one she knew he could ease for her.
She opened her eyes and gazed down the length of her body to him. What was he waiting for? Was he trying to torture her? If he was, he was succeeding. She lowered her right hand and reached for him, her eyes hooded as the need he had ignited in her demanded he sate it.
Still, he hesitated.
If she didn’t do something, he was going to stop this before it really began, and she wasn’t sure she would survive that. Her body felt too tight, every inch of her aching for this male, on fire for him. If he stopped now, she might kill him, and gods, he would deserve it.
On a low curse aimed at him, she sat up and planted her hands to his chest, skimmed her palms up to his shoulders and then his corded neck, and dragged his lips to hers. She kissed him, mimicking the way he had done it, hoping he wouldn’t realise she was new to this.
Thanatos was quick to seize hold of her again, to steal control of the kiss and bend her to his will. He wasn’t gentle as he kissed her, as he clutched her backside and lifted her, kneading her bottom as he pressed between her thighs. He was fierce and commanding, gave no quarter as she tried to retake control of the kiss.
He growled whenever she tried, pushed her into submission by stroking his tongue along hers, by digging his fingers into her flesh and holding her more tightly. Wicked Thanatos.
She moaned and wrapped her arms around him, and heat scalded her cheeks when her body moved against his of its own will and she couldn’t stop herself from rubbing up and down his caged length. It was hard against her. Deliciously hard. Stoked the need that controlled her, had her going out of her mind with want as she rode it.