“Wow, that’s super fun!” said Frank, the poor slob, looking slightly confused.
“Let’s go in,” Josh suggested, then whispered to his friends. “Why are you lying?”
“It’s more fun this way,” Radley whispered back. They approached the monstrous house, which was one of the great Victorian beauties on College Hill. Josh had always thought it was a museum, truthfully.
“So this is a six-bedroom home with a fully updated kitchen, attic space, separate garage and—”
“We’ll just look around and ask questions as they arise,” Radley said. “Come, precious, let’s wander.” He led Sarah inside, holding her hand if she were the queen and he her devoted foot servant.
The house was beautiful, that was for sure. Huge, too. It had a big entrance foyer with a sweeping staircase, formal dining room on one side, giant paneled living room on the other.
“Look at these stairs!” Radley exclaimed. “I would sweep down in my dressing gown every single morning. These stairs are made for drama.”
“You could carry me up to bed every night,” Sarah said.
“And totally ravish you!” Radley said. He tried to pick Sarah up, but failing (he was a scrawny thing), he and Sarah nonetheless ran upstairs, laughing like hyenas.
Josh and Frank trailed behind. “You’d have fifty-five hundred square feet,” Frank said. “Five full bathrooms, two half baths, central air, a really gorgeous master bath—”
He stopped in the doorway of the master bedroom. Radley and Sarah were rolling around on the king-size bed like puppies.
“I love me a hard mattress,” Radley said with a Southern drawl.
“I love me a hard man,” she returned, and they dissolved again into laughter.
“Um . . . they’re so . . . in love,” Josh said.
“Whatever you say,” Frank said, doubt heavy in his voice.
The house had a study, a beautifully redone kitchen, a dining room, family room, office, butler’s pantry (whatever that was), a formal living room, the aforementioned five bedrooms.
“The yard’s a little small,” Josh said, looking out the back window. “And I think the house is a little too large.”
“Are you two planning on having kids?” Frank asked Radley gamely.
“We are,” Sarah said. “God willing, we’ll have eight.”
“We’re waiting till the wedding night to consummate the marriage,” Radley said. “Sarah didn’t want to, but I insisted. I want to be pure for my bride.” They darted out of the room, where they could be heard gasping with laughter, congratulating each other on their funniness.
“Sorry. They’re idiots, but they’re mine,” Josh said. “What else have you got?”
“You want to stay in Providence proper, right?”
“I think so,” Josh said. “I honestly haven’t thought about it until recently.”
The next house was another breathtaking beauty, and about a third smaller than the first house. But again, the backyard was teeny. Pebbles wouldn’t be able to run anywhere.
Maybe Lauren was right. Being in a neighborhood would be good for him. The mill building was gorgeous, and while Josh was cordial with his neighbors, he barely knew them (and didn’t see any reason to change that now).
But working outside in the yard, or sitting on the porch, saying hello to neighbors as they walked . . . well, it could happen. Especially with his two goofy friends. They’d help break the ice. He pictured Octavia and Sebastian there, Darius grilling up some brats on the grill, Jen holding the new baby. “Maybe something with a little more room outside.”
They looked at a third house, but it was down by the capitol, right near the train station, and Josh would be driven crazy by the noise. It was also new construction, and very new money, which Josh supposed he was, but he was not the type who needed to brag about his Venetian glass drawer pulls and Italian marble island. “I’m so over this subway tile, all-white kitchen,” Radley said. “But this island, babe. Think of the filthy things we could do up here.”
“Ooh. Chop those vegetables the way Mommy likes,” Sarah said in a breathy voice.
More staggering, more wheezing, more apologies from Josh.
“Are you actually interested in buying a house, or is this just because you’re bored?” Frank asked. “It’s okay if you are. People do it all the time.”
“No, I . . . I just started looking. These two are just comic relief. My wife died in February, and I . . . I guess I need a change.”
“I’m so sorry,” Frank said.
“Thanks.” Hopefully, his tone shut that conversation down.
“Describe the perfect house for you,” Frank suggested, sitting at the island and gesturing for Josh to do the same.
The perfect house would have Lauren in it. Their kids.
Don’t be a loser.
Josh took a deep breath and exhaled. “I don’t want a mansion. This is too . . . imposing. It’s beautiful, but it’s too . . . sterile. The other houses were too much like museums.” He thought a moment. “I want a house where my family can visit. A big yard for my dog. A decent kitchen. I like to cook.” He liked to cook for others. Cooking for himself was boring, and depressing to boot.
“Got it,” Frank said. “I have a place in mind, actually. It’s not in Providence, but it’s just over the line in Cranston. It backs up to Narragansett Bay, and it’s a nice old house with great woodwork and some stained glass windows. Big but not grotesque. It needs some work, but the bones are great. Want to see it?”
“Sure.” Radley and Sarah would, that was for sure.
Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the house, a fat older house, not quite a Victorian, not quite Arts and Crafts, not quite Tudor . . . a little odd, really, with its steeply pitched roof and lead-paned windows. Big yard. The back led to a set of stairs down to a dock overlooking Narragansett Bay.
It smelled like the ocean and pine trees.
They went up the deep front porch, which wrapped around one corner. It would be nice and shady in the summer, he imagined. Frank fumbled with his key.
“Sorry we were acting like children,” Radley said, smiling. “We’re his friends. This guy here is solid gold, but he needs a laugh every now and then.”
“Children are much better behaved than the two of you,” Frank said, glancing at Radley. Maybe he was eye-fucking. Josh didn’t know about these things.
Frank found the right key, opened the front door, a solid oak relic flanked by lead-paned windows, and in they went.