He nodded, and her eyes filled with tears.
“I’m grateful, but you didn’t have to do that. I’ll pay you back.”
“There’s no need to pay me back. It’s a gift for you and the girls—and for your brother, who I never had the honor of knowing.”
“Thank you.” Tears slid down her cheeks, and she hugged him. She stepped back and wiped her eyes. “We’re not having a service or anything. It’ll just be me and the girls saying goodbye. Your mother said she’d drive us to the cemetery.”
He remembered the hailstorm of emotions that the finality of Ashley’s burial had caused, and there was no way he’d let Leah and the girls go through that with only his mother by their side. “Would you mind if I show up? I’d like to say goodbye to him, too.”
The tension in her face eased. “I’d like that. We should go in before they come looking for us.”
They went inside, and when he walked into the girls’ room, the girls sat up.
“Tank!” Rosie exclaimed.
“You came,” Junie said.
“Of course I did. I made you girls a promise, and Wickeds always keep their promises.”
Junie scrunched up her face. “What’s a Wicked?”
“That’s my last name. Yours is Yates.” He sat beside her as she lay down, holding her bunny against her chest. “What’s your bunny’s name?”
“Mine,” she said.
Tank laughed. “I know it’s yours, Twitch, but what’s its name?”
“Mine is his name,” Junie explained.
Tank looked at Leah, and she shrugged one shoulder. “Well, little darlin’, I like a girl who claims the things she loves.”
“My Boo!” Rosie waved her doll at him.
“That’s a great name, too, little bird.”
“I no bird,” Rosie said. “I a girl.”
“Yeah? You seem like a bird to me with your cheeky smile and constant chirping.” He winked, and Rosie giggled. “You girls had a pretty big day. It’s time to close your eyes and dream about happy things. Okay?”
They nodded. He brushed Junie’s curls from her forehead, and she reached up and hugged him. “I’m going to be right outside, okay?”
She nodded as she lay back down. “You gonna be here in the mornin’?”
How could one question turn his insides to mush? “I’m going to be here whenever you need me.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Get some rest.” He went to sit with Rosie, who was beaming up at him, which made him laugh. “You look wide-awake.” He felt around her neck with his fingers, and she giggled. “Where’s your off button? Hey, Twitch, how do you turn your sister off?”
Junie giggled.
“Okay, Cheeky, time for you to go to sleep so Boo can rest up for tomorrow.” He kissed her forehead, and Rosie threw her arms around him, pressing her tiny lips to his cheek. He tucked her blanket around her and pushed to his feet. “Sleep tight.”
As he left their room, Leah mouthed, Thank you, the relief in her eyes palpable.
He could take down six men single-handedly, but as he headed outside feeling all warm and squishy, he knew he was no match for the debilitating power of those three girls.
Chapter Five
LEAH DRESSED AFTER her shower and peered out the front window again, hating herself for being disappointed that Tank wasn’t there. She’d seen his truck outside when she’d woken up at three o’clock in the morning from a nightmare about the accident. She’d been this close to asking Tank to sit with her on the porch, because she’d just needed to be near someone who understood what she was going through and could tell her everything would be okay. But she hadn’t wanted to burden him and had curled up around her pillow and cried herself to sleep. Now she was glad she hadn’t turned to him, because his truck had been gone when she’d gotten up at six thirty. The girls were busy playing in their room for now, but she prayed they wouldn’t ask for him. It wasn’t like he owed any of them a darn thing, but he’d promised the girls. He promised me.
A knot lodged in Leah’s chest.
It was bad enough that she kept expecting to hear River’s voice. She couldn’t walk past the stairs to his room without expecting him to peer down and tease her about something. She knew better than to lean on anyone, despite how sincere Tank had seemed. River was family. The girls were his. He had a stake in their well-being. Tank was just a nice guy who had rescued them and probably felt bad because he couldn’t save River.
I’m such an idiot.
She made her bed and went to the bathroom to get the dirty clothes hamper and peeked into the girls’ room. Rosie was sitting on the floor in her underpants playing with plastic animals, and Junie was lying on her stomach wearing only her pajama pants, drawing a picture. Why did little girls like to take their clothes off?
“I playin’ zoo,” Rosie said.
“What happened to your pajamas?” Leah asked.
Rosie pointed to a pile of pajamas on the floor.
Leah picked up the pajamas and tossed them into the hamper. “I’m going to run down to the basement to do laundry.”
“’Kay, Mama!” Rosie said.
Junie rolled onto her side, looking up at Leah. “Is Tank comin’ soon?”
The knot in Leah’s chest tightened. She was walking on eggshells with her own emotions and couldn’t deal with letting the girls down without losing it, so she said, “I guess we’ll see.”
Junie’s brows knitted, and she went back to drawing.
“Tank comin’,” Rosie said. “He pwomised.”
“Wickeds always keep their pwomises,” Junie said softly.
Leah wanted to say, Apparently not as well as Yateses do, but she bit her tongue and headed to the basement to do the laundry. She heard the girls run into the living room giggling. She was glad they were happy, but their brains were like Fort Knox. Junie would spend all day picking apart Tank’s absence, and eventually she’d have a hundred questions, to which Rosie would have a hundred answers, all rationalizing Tank not showing up.
Didn’t he know how fragile they were? They were used to River making them a priority, and now he was gone. Forever. Tears welled in Leah’s eyes as she threw the laundry in the washer. They didn’t need another disappointment. This was her fault for letting Tank get close to them. It had felt good to let him help. God, how could she have been so selfish? So wrong about him? Tears spilled down her face as she started the machine. She’d survived her father’s death and done well by River. She and the girls had each other. They didn’t need anyone else. They would get through this. Somehow…
She noticed the dryer door was ajar, and when she pulled it open, she saw River’s clothes inside, and her heart broke all over again. She looked up at the ceiling, tears streaking her cheeks. She was furious at God, at herself, at Tank for not saving River. She wanted to scream. What the hell are you doing to us? What’s next? Are you going to take me away from them, too? Her legs gave out, and she sank to the floor, giving in to the crushing reality that they were now truly alone.
The girls squealed and giggled as they ran across the floor, bringing her mind back to them. She loved being a mom, but it was so fucking hard sometimes. Trying desperately to regain control of her emotions, an impossible task, she forced herself to her feet and pulled River’s clothes out of the dryer. She pressed his shirt to her nose despite knowing his boyish scent was gone and folded them for what she knew would be the last time, placing one of his favorite shirts, a hoodie, and jeans on top for his burial. This was so fucking unfair.