“I won’t,” I promise, but it’s not one I’m sure I can keep. But it doesn’t matter because he’s almost there. His strokes grow rough and wild, and then he shoves in deep and shouts.
I come, squeezing his cock with my inner walls in tight little pulses as the waves of bliss roll out from my core to my fingers and toes.
Pavel covers my body with his, kissing the back of my neck, his hot breath feathering over my ear. “I missed you,” he says.
That’s twice he’s said it now. The man who communicates nothing of his own feelings with me.
I’m freefalling into love with this man who I can’t have a future with. This man who lives with Sasha and is moving back to Russia.
The heartbreak when this ends is going to be exponential.
I hope I’m strong enough to withstand it.
Pavel
I bury my face in Kayla’s hair and breathe in her spring flower scent. Soon, if things come together, these moments with her won’t feel like stealing. Like another law I’ve broken. It’s starting to feel possible that Kayla could truly be mine. Not just my submissive but wholly mine.
The more I let myself see the possibility of that happening, the lighter I feel.
It’s crazy, this sensation of floating.
Kayla’s phone rings and she moans. “Sorry, Master, I didn’t turn my ringer off.”
I nip her ear. “That’s because you were talking to me with it,” I remind her. “Do you need to check it?” I reach with my hand. It’s somewhere on the bed near our knees. Finding it, I check the screen as I hand it to her. “Jagger Mason.”
“Nope,” she says, swiping left across the screen. I ease out of her, and she rolls over beneath me.
“Who is this man I have to kill for having your number?”
Laughter lights up her pretty face. “Oh my God, did you just make a joke?”
I toss the phone away from us. “Depends.”
She keeps smiling. “He runs the promotions that we work. I already told him I couldn’t work tonight. I don’t know why he’s calling.”
“I could kill him for you,” I offer.
She giggles. The musical sound enters my chest and ricochets, lighting every dark shadow there.
I smile down at her, drinking in all her sweetness.
Her phone rings again.
“I’ll kill him now,” I tell her, reaching for it. The screen reads, Kimberly.
“It’s Kimberly. Your roommate, no?”
She frowns and reaches for the phone, so I climb off her and hand it over. She sits up, the furrow between her brows deepening as she answers the call. I go to the bathroom to wash my hands and face.
“Oh God,” Kayla moans into the phone, walking toward the bathroom door. “I don’t know, I mean, Pavel just got here, and he only has one night. Let me ask him.”
As I dry my hands, I hear the tinny sound of Kimberly’s voice from the other end of the phone. “Why do you have to ask him? Is he really that controlling? Come on, you’re a grown up. You can make this decision on your own and tell him what you decide.”
I’m not one to take criticism personally, so I wouldn’t give a shit, except I see the effect of Kimberly’s words on Kayla’s face, and I want to punch the wall. She’s gone pale, her eyes round. She appears almost sick to her stomach. Christ, does she think I’m too controlling?
I guess I am because I step into her space and cup her elbows. “Tell her you’ll call her back,” I murmur.
“I-I’ll call you back,” she says into the phone.
I hear Kimberly protesting, but Kayla ends the call, looking at the phone, almost as if she’s frightened of it.
“What’s going on?” I take the phone from her and set it on the bathroom counter.
“I guess the event they’re working tonight is going to be slammed, and they need more help. Kimberly says Jagger said if I don’t show up tonight, I’m fired from doing any more promotions with them.” She peers up at me, as if gauging my response.
I try to gauge hers. “But you don’t want to work tonight.”
She spreads her hands. “Well, no. I mean, you’re only here one night. This is our time together.”
“So, you’re not going,” I say. I’m her dom, and she’s looking to me to make this decision. If it helps to make me the bad guy, she can; I definitely don’t give a shit.
But her expression grows more distressed. She sags. “I don’t know, I don’t want to let my friends down. I mean, I think one of the reasons they don’t like you is because they miss me. I never work with them anymore.” She blinks back tears.
“They don’t like me?” Fuck, why is this the first I’ve heard about it? Of course, it’s totally my fault. I never made the slightest attempt to ask about her roommates. Or meet them. Christ, I could have made an attempt. I’ve never even seen her apartment.
That suddenly strikes me as a major omission. How many others have I made?
I shake my head. “Nevermind.” I hold her shoulders. “What do you want to do, Kayla? I’m a big boy, I won’t sulk if you need to go to work. I can drive you there—I rented a car this time.”
She gives me her big eyes. The ones that lock onto my face like I’m the god who just lit the moon. “W-would that be okay? I mean, you flew all the way out here, and now I’m ruining—”
“It’s not ruined,” I interrupt, brushing her hair back from her face.
Hope sparks behind her eyes. “You could hang out there—I mean, if you want. It’s a private event at a nightclub, but I’m sure I could get you in. Or, that would probably be boring for you—”
“Sure.”
Her eyes widen in surprise. “You’d come?”
“Of course. I want to see you work.”
“Great!” She’s happy now. Lit up like a Christmas tree in pure, unfiltered joy. She reaches for her phone to call her roommate back.
Something I know so little about but is starting to seep in. It makes Kayla happy to get to go to work and have me come along. No, that’s not it. It’s about her being a pleaser. She’s happy because she didn’t have to disappoint me or her roommates.
I wonder if she even knows what she really wants.
I make it my purpose to figure that out. That’s what a good dom does. That’s what a boyfriend does.
She and Kimberly make arrangements, and she agrees to meet them at the venue in forty minutes.
I catch her with my arm around her waist as she lunges for the shower. “No, blossom. If you’re going to be out serving other men tonight, I want you smelling like my cum.”
Her breath catches.
I slap her bare ass. “I want my handprints on your skin and your pussy sore enough that you remember I’ve already been deep inside you tonight and by tomorrow morning, I’m going to turn you inside out.”
She lets out a soft whimper of desire, and I nibble her ear. “I love you,” I murmur.
There. I said it. It’s the truth, but it was hard for me to admit out loud the first time. Now I’ve owned it, just like I own her.
She whirls in my arms but buries her face against my chest, like it’s too intense to look at me. She bites my pect, and I full-on chuckle.