“I’m thinking about Dee, who thought she was going to marry Marcus and have six kids with him before he suddenly married someone else and broke her heart.”
“I hate how that happened to her.”
I look over at him. “You can’t let Wyatt hurt her. Please tell me you’ll throw yourself in front of that.”
“I promise I will. I won’t let him hurt her.”
I tell myself I need to be satisfied with his assurances, but my stomach hurts at the possibility of more heartache for Dee.
DEE
I lead the way up the stairs to my apartment over the garage. Thankfully, my aunt and uncle don’t live here, or I never would. Maria felt the same way when she lived in the apartment before me. Our family is up in our business enough without living right next door to “parents.” In our family, they’re all parents, whether they gave birth to us or not.
“What a cute place,” Wyatt says when we’re inside the big room that makes up my kitchen, living room and dining area.
“It’s not much, but it’s home. For now, anyway.” The best part is that the rent and my other expenses are manageable with what I make working five nights a week at the restaurant. I didn’t think I’d still be waitressing at my age, but nothing has gone according to my plan.
I can’t think about that or allow bitterness to invade this evening with a guy I like and who seems to like me just as much.
Wyatt follows me into the kitchen.
“You want a drink?”
He shakes his head and takes another step toward me until he’s right in front of me. “This is what I want,” he says, giving me a soft, sweet, undemanding kiss. “That’s what I would’ve done if we’d been alone when I saw you again.” His hands are on my hips as mine end up on his chest. “I would’ve said, hi there. I’ve missed you since the night we met.”
“It’s kind of odd to miss someone you hardly know.”
“I know you.” Raising a hand to move my hair out of his way, he kisses the spot on my neck that makes me sigh. “See? I know what happens when I kiss you right there. I know that if I do this,” he says, cupping my breasts and running his thumbs over my nipples, “that your knees will buckle.”
Sure enough, my knees give in, making him smile.
“I know you, Dee. I know you’re gorgeous and fun and funny and so devoted to your family that you gave up your life in New York to be here for your mom while she’s ill. I know how much you love your sister and your cousin, how close the three of you are and how much you love your Nona and Carmen’s grandmother. Abuela, right?”
“Yes.” I’m breathless from the kisses he leaves on my neck and the sweep of his thumbs over my nipples. I’m impressed that he remembers me telling him how vital Nona and Abuela have been to all of us cousins, how Carmen’s Abuela isn’t technically my grandmother, but don’t say that to her—or me.
“I know you have two brothers, Nico and Milo, and that your extended family gets together every Sunday for brunch at the restaurant. I know your cousins are like extra siblings to you. And after tonight, I know your tender heart has been badly hurt by the man you loved, which is why you shouldn’t be allowing me to kiss you and touch you.”
That statement hits me like a blast of ice water to the face. I pull back so I can see him and the regret in his expression. “I don’t understand.”
“There are things… about me… Things you don’t know, and you should, before we do this again…” He emphasizes his point by pressing his erection against my core, setting off fireworks throughout my oversensitized body.
All at once, I don’t want to know why this is a bad idea or why he isn’t good for me or anything that’ll ruin this dream state I’ve slipped into after only a few minutes in his arms. Just like the first time we were together this way, his touch does something to me that’s never happened before, and all I want is more of that incredible feeling.
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “Whatever it is, unless you’re telling me you’re married or have an STD or something that could harm me, I don’t need to know.”
He brightens when I tell him that. “There is one thing you absolutely must know, and after I tell you that one thing, I promise I’ll shut up so we can enjoy this.”
“What’s that?” I tip my head to give him better access to my neck. I had no idea how much I loved having my neck kissed until Wyatt did it after the wedding.
“This, you and me… It can’t ever be anything more. Even if I get the job here, I can’t commit to anything other than casual.”
I want to ask him why that is, but I presume it’s something I don’t want to know. So I don’t ask.
“I need you to tell me you understand, Dee. We can’t have feelings for each other.”
It’s too late to warn me about feelings. I realized tonight, at Austin and Maria’s, when my heart rate nearly went through the roof at the mere sight of him, that I already have feelings for him. But he doesn’t need to know that. “I understand.”
“You’re sure? I can leave now and grab an Uber back to Jay’s place. No hard feelings. Well,” he says, smiling as he rubs his cock against me, “a few hard feelings.”
I laugh, which breaks the tension that’s been building over the last few minutes. “I don’t want you to go, and I understand this can’t be anything more than casual fun.”
“And you know that no matter what happens between us, that’s not going to change, right?”
The sadness and resignation I see in his eyes make me hurt for him. What could cause such a kind, handsome, sexy, successful man to draw such a firm line in the sand? Does he mean he won’t get involved with anyone or me specifically? I tell myself that doesn’t matter, either, but it does.
“I get it, but I have a question.”
“Okay…”
“Do you mean it can never be more with me or with anyone?”
“Anyone. It’s certainly not about you. If things were different, you’d be what I’d want for myself.”
“What things would need to be different?”
“Stuff I don’t talk about. It’s just one of those ‘it is what it is’ kind of things, you know?”
I don’t know, but what does it matter? I’m in no place to start something new with anyone. My mom is sick. Most of what I own is still in New York. I’m working at the family restaurant like I did when I was a teenager, and my ex may or may not have tried to kill himself because I refused to talk to him. The last thing I need is romantic entanglements or any more drama than I’ve already got.
He pulls back to look down at me. “I’d understand if any of this is a deal-breaker, Dee. You’re such a great person. I don’t want to lead you on.”
“You’ve been very honest, and I appreciate that more than you know.” Especially after what Marcus did.
“Do you want me to go?”
I shake my head. What I want, more than anything, is more of the way he made me feel the night of the wedding, as if I’m special and sexy and perfect. After a year of feeling like shit, that was a priceless gift.