I never again want to put myself in a situation where something like that can happen. By keeping to myself, I can avoid that kind of drama—and that kind of pain. Yes, I see that my sister and cousin have found great guys who make them deliriously happy, and I’m glad about that. They both deserve all the happiness they can find. Carmen went through hell after her first husband, Tony, a police officer, was shot and killed on the job when they were only twenty-four. It took a long time for her to come back from that and take a chance on love again with Jason.
And Maria… her ex cheated on her while they were living together, turning her life upside down. Then she met Austin, who lived in Baltimore when they were first together, and they did the impossible—made a long-distance relationship work until his baseball season ended. He came to Miami for the off-season, and now they’re engaged.
It’s all worked for Maria and Carmen. But I’m under no illusions that’s going to happen to me, too. My illusions, such as they are, were shattered when Marcus married her. There’s no coming back from that kind of betrayal, especially since he didn’t even have the decency to let me know it was over between us before he married her.
At first, I laughed at Domenic, the cousin who sat me down and very gently told me he heard Marcus got married. How could that be? I laughed at the foolishness coming from Dom. “Marcus is my boyfriend,” I said. “He wouldn’t marry someone else.” I angrily accused Domenic of spreading rumors that weren’t true. I told him I’d seen Marcus a month ago, and everything had been fine. There was no way in hell he got married.
But he did. And realizing the “rumor” was true was the single most devastating moment of my life until a few days later, when I miscarried the baby I hadn’t even known I was carrying. That was worse than what Marcus did, but not by much. After the miscarriage, I holed up in my room in the apartment Dom and I shared in the city and refused to come out, except to use the bathroom.
Domenic threatened to call my parents, which finally got me to come out, to eat something, to return to the land of the living. Still, I was a shell of my former self over the last year as I walked through life like a zombie while I tried not picturing the man I loved living and sleeping with another woman.
Naturally, I had to stalk them online, which is how I learned that the skank is a stunning blonde with big boobs. Why couldn’t she be a troll? At least then I could live with him marrying down. But from everything I’ve seen of them together, he married up, and that hurts worst of all. He threw me over for a stranger who’s prettier than me, not to mention her boobs are twice the size of mine.
Ugh, what am I doing reliving this shit? What’s the point?
Before I can answer my questions, the phone rings with a call from Marcus’s sister, Bianca. I decline the call. I don’t want to talk to her any more than I want to talk to him.
A minute later, Bianca texts me. Please take my call. It’s an emergency.
For crying out loud. Why can’t people just leave me alone?
The phone rings three times before I take the call.
“Dee?” Bianca sounds frantic. “I’ve been using Marcus’s phone to reach out to you, but you’re not responding. He… He’s in the hospital, Dee. He was found unresponsive this morning and is in the ICU.”
My heart drops into my stomach. I don’t want to talk to him, but I don’t want him to be sick. “What’s wrong with him?”
“They don’t know. The doctors think maybe he took something.”
“What’re you saying?”
“I don’t know, Dee! I just don’t know. He’s really sick. Can you come here?”
There was a time when the thought of him being sick or in need would’ve had me running out the door to get to him as fast as I possibly could. That time is in the past. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“Dee! He could die!”
Tears fill my eyes, but I battle through the emotional firestorm, determined to look out for myself even when everything in me still wants to go to him. “I’m sorry. I’ll pray for him, but I can’t come there. I just can’t.”
The phone goes dead.
Before I have a second to process that Bianca has hung up on me, someone is pounding on the door.
“Open up, Delores.” My sister calls me that only when she means business—or is spoiling for a fight.
I haul myself off the sofa and unlock the door for Maria, who comes barging in like she owns the place. Just because she lived here before me doesn’t give her barging rights.
“What the hell, Dee? Mommy called me at work today to ask me why she hasn’t seen you in days, and I told her I had no idea because you were supposed to take dinner to them this week.”
“Nico did it. We switched weeks.” I return to my spot on the sofa that used to belong to Maria until she moved into Austin’s mansion and didn’t need it anymore. I also inherited her bed, dresser, TV and coffee table.
“I went by the restaurant, but they said you weren’t working tonight. What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing and this is Sofia’s weekend. We alternate, as you know.”
“I can tell just by looking at you that something’s up. You always do this when the shit hits the fan.”
“What do I do?”
Maria sits next to me on the sofa. “Go into hiding.”
I fixate on the enormous diamond ring on her left hand. I feel like an asshole for being jealous of what she has with Austin—a beautiful man, a beautiful little girl, a beautiful home and a stunning engagement ring. She’s the best person I know and deserves every good thing. “I’m not hiding.”
My phone chimes with a new text. I’m almost afraid to look. It’s Marcus—or I should say, Bianca. I can’t believe how selfish you’re being.
Now I’m selfish? How rich is that? I should’ve asked her how long he’s been in the hospital so I’d know when he last texted me himself. They’re going to blame me for this somehow. I didn’t respond to his texts, so he did something stupid and dramatic. Did he do it to get my attention?
I’ve almost forgotten Maria is there. I glance at her, wishing I could keep this to myself. But that’s not how things work in my family, which is one reason I was so eager to move to New York in the first place.
“Marcus is in the hospital.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Bianca said he took something he shouldn’t have, and she’s trying to guilt me into going there. He was blowing up my phone, and I was ignoring him, so I guess now it’s my fault he’s in the hospital.”
“She said that?”
“She said I’m selfish for not going there.”
“No, you’re not. You owe him nothing.”
“You and I know that, but she sees it differently. If he dies, they’re going to blame me.”
“Let them. You know the truth of what he did to you.”
Maria doesn’t know the half of it. No one does. Then I’m sobbing. She moves closer and puts her arms around me. I’m furious because it shouldn’t hurt this much after all this time.
“I’m so sorry, Dee. He’s an asshole for doing this to you—and so is she.”