“There’s more to what happened than you know.” I wipe the tears from my face and decide to tell her the truth. Maybe if I say it out loud, I can finally get some peace.
“Tell me,” she says, giving me her full attention.
I realize it’s been a while since I had my sister’s full attention. Between her ass-kicking job as a nurse at the free clinic and her new life with Austin and Everly, I hardly see her.
“Six months before he got married, Marcus and I had gotten back together—or so I thought.”
“What? You guys were together when he got married? Are you kidding me?”
I shake my head. I wish I were kidding. “We were keeping it low-key and working on our issues. I’d just seen him a month before, and I thought he was coming back the following weekend.”
She stares at me, incredulous. “This is unbelievable.”
“I found out he’d gotten married on a Friday. The following Monday, I had a miscarriage.”
Chapter 2
DEE
Now someone else knows, and I’m not sure how to feel about sharing something that’s been such a raw wound for more than a year.
“Oh God, Dee,” Maria says, her eyes filling with tears. “Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come!”
“I didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t want him to know.”
“He didn’t know you were pregnant?”
I shake my head. “I was going to tell him the next time we were together in a couple of weeks. But then… Everything fell apart. He got married, and I lost the baby. I lost them both within four days.”
“Wait… Was this the week last winter when you weren’t answering anyone’s texts, and everyone was calling Dom to find out what was wrong with you?”
Nodding as I wipe away tears, I say, “I told him I had the flu.”
“Yes! That’s what he said. You had the flu. Why didn’t you tell me? You know I would’ve come. Carmen would have, too.”
“I couldn’t. I was… It was so awful, Maria. So awful. And when I came home for Carmen’s wedding, and you guys told me he was telling people he wanted me back…”
“That brought it all up again.”
“Yeah. He’s been relentlessly texting me. I was thinking about blocking him when Bianca called to tell me he’s in the hospital.”
“You should’ve blocked him. He has no right to do this to you. No right at all.”
“He said he’s sorry for what he did, that he fucked up and didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“He didn’t mean to hurt you? What the hell did he think would happen to you when he married someone else?”
“Especially when I had no idea he was even unhappy. The last time he came to New York, we had the best time. We went to Coney Island and saw a show, and…” A sob comes from the deepest part of me. “Everything was fine. I asked him to give me six more months in New York before I moved home, and he was okay with that. I don’t understand what happened, Maria. And I want to understand. I really do.”
“What will change if you know the why of it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe nothing, but I can’t figure out how we went from that great weekend to him married to someone else in the span of a few weeks. After I lost the baby, my doctor asked me if there was anyone she could call, like the baby’s father, and I just word-vomited the whole ugly story to her. That led her to test me for STDs, which was the ultimate humiliation.”
“Jesus, Dee.”
“It all came back negative, but still… It was horrible.”
“I’m so sorry you went through something like that alone.”
“There was nothing you could’ve done.” Thinking back to those unbearable four days makes me ache like it just happened when it was more than a year ago. “I’ve been kind of a mess ever since, and when I came home for Car’s wedding, and you guys told me what he was saying…” I shake my head, thinking about the conversation we had in the limo the night of Carmen’s bachelorette party. “I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.”
“From what Bianca told us, he’s legitimately remorseful.”
“I don’t care! Where was that remorse when he was marrying her? I hadn’t heard a single word from him in a year until you guys told me what Bianca said. What do I owe him?”
“Nothing,” Maria says firmly. “You owe him nothing at all.”
“I’ve been spinning for five months since the weekend of Car’s wedding.”
“Which was the same weekend we found out Mommy is sick.”
“Right.” Our mother was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer in October and had a double mastectomy with reconstruction in January. She’s undergoing treatment now, and the four of us, as well as our extended family, have rallied around her and my dad. I came home to Miami for the wedding and never went back to New York.
She pushes my hair back from my face. “I have an idea.”
“What?”
“Come to my house for a few days. Hang out by the pool. Play with Everly. Drink wine with me. We’ll get you through this rough patch.”
“You don’t need my sad-sack self underfoot in your happily ever after.”
“Oh, hush. I’m inviting you. I want you to come. You’ll have your own room and bathroom, and you can hide out whenever you want to be alone. I can’t bear the thought of you sad and alone here. Come on. It’ll be fun.”
I’m tempted. Maria’s house is bonkers, the most amazing house any of us have ever been in, and since I don’t work again until Tuesday, I’ve got nothing better to do. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I’m not very good company right now.”
“I’m sure. I want you to come.”
“What about Austin? He has better things to do with his season starting than deal with a grumpy future sister-in-law.”
“He won’t mind, either. I promise. He loves you. You know that.”
I drop my head into my hands, so she won’t see how her kindness has wrecked me. I’ve been so alone with my feelings about Marcus and what he did and losing the baby for so long that it’s a relief she knows the whole story now.
She puts her arm around me. “It’s going to be okay, Dee.”
“Are you sure I shouldn’t go to the hospital?”
“I’m positive. I’ll call Bianca and tell her to leave you alone.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know, but I’m going to anyway. Pack a bag, and let’s go to my place. We’ll order Mexican takeout and drink margaritas. It’ll be fun.”
My phone buzzes with another text, and before I can check it, Maria grabs it, probably preparing to run interference for me with Marcus’s family.
“Um, who’s Wyatt?”
I grab the phone from her, dying to know what he said this time. “Just a friend.” I take it with me into the bedroom and immediately check the text.
I just hope you’re ok. Write back to tell me you’re still out there. Hello? Dee? Come in.