“So do you.” He kisses my cheek, nose and lips. “The first time I saw you, I said to Jay, ‘Who is that?’ He said you were Carmen’s cousin, and I said, ‘Introduce me. Right now.’”
“Safe to say, I immediately noticed you, too. I’d been dreading the need to put on a happy face for three days, and then there you were to make me smile. You’ll never know what that meant to me at that moment.”
“You made me smile, too. It was the most fun I’ve had in a very long time, and as I was getting on the plane to go home on Monday, it felt wrong to leave without you.”
It’s all I can do to remember we’re in public.
The waitress appears by our table, forcing me to snap out of the thrall. “What can I get y’all?”
“I’ll have coffee and an English muffin, please,” I tell her.
“I’ll do an egg-white veggie omelet with wheat toast, please.”
“Coffee for you, love?” she asks with a flirtatious smile that makes me want to claw her eyes out.
Wyatt hands her his menu. “Just ice water with lemon. Thanks.”
“Coming right up.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t drink coffee.”
“I won’t tell you that caffeine isn’t good for my heart, so I avoid it.”
“I have a question.”
“You can ask me anything you want.” He links his fingers with mine. “It’s such a relief that you know the truth. I wanted to tell you that first night, and I don’t tell anyone. For some reason, though, I wanted you to know.”
“Why don’t you tell people?”
“I developed that habit the first time I left home and went to North Carolina for med school. It was like this fresh start, away from everyone who’d known me as the sick kid. I loved that no one knew, so it became my routine when I met new people. Plus, I don’t want to be defined by that, you know?”
“I can understand that. But that wasn’t the question I was going to ask.”
“You’re allowed to ask as many as you want.”
“When I read about life after a heart transplant, one of the things they talked about was avoiding sick people and germs.”
“That’s right.”
“But you work in a hospital.”
“That’s an excellent question. Most of the patients I see aren’t sick with the kinds of things that would endanger me. They have cardiac or pulmonary concerns that aren’t contagious. And I’m super careful. If I think there’s any chance of being exposed to something, I wear a mask and keep my distance.”
“It’s kind of scary that a random germ could put your life at risk.”
“That’s why I didn’t go into pediatrics,” he says, grinning. “I don’t overthink it. I just do everything I can to avoid germs and crowds.”
“It’s admirable how hard you work to stay healthy.”
“I know what it’s like to be sick—really, really sick—and I never want to be there again if I can avoid it. I hope that when my donor heart quits, it’s sudden. I don’t want ever again to spend months on end in the hospital.”
The thought of him dying suddenly makes me ache for him and myself.
He seems to pick up on that. “I’d understand if you’re second-guessing—”
“I’m not.”
“You should, Dee. The idea of you signing on for almost guaranteed heartbreak because of me is unbearable.”
“I don’t want you to worry about that. You told me what I was risking, and I understand it. I’m choosing to spend time with you and to feel things for you. It’s what I want. You are what I want.”
“That makes me feel so fucking lucky.” He stares at me for the longest time as if trying to memorize every detail of my face. “So, you feel things, huh?”
“Yeah. Lots of things.”
“Me, too. All the things.” He’s about to kiss me when the waitress returns with my coffee and his water. “To be continued later.”
I shiver from the promise in his words. I can’t wait until later.
Chapter 8
WYATT
She’s got me so wound up, I can barely eat—and anyone who knows me would tell you that’s a rare thing. Now that I’ve permitted myself to take this leap with her, all I want is as much of her as I can get. I can’t believe this is happening or the way I said fuck it the minute she told me she didn’t care about my rules. I still have significant reservations, but damned if I can be bothered to think about them with her sitting right next to me, the heat of her body pressed against mine making me crazy for her.
And not just physically. Sure, that’s a big part of it, but it’s so much more than that. Dee makes me yearn for the intense connection I’ve never shared with anyone before. Yes, I’ve dated a lot, had a few women who might’ve been considered “girlfriends” by other people’s standards, but I’ve never once gone all-in with anyone, knowing that just wasn’t possible for me. I didn’t want to star in one of those real-life, movie-of-the-week stories where the hero dies and leaves the heroine devastated to pick up the pieces in the aftermath of my tragic and premature death.
No, thanks. Why would I do that to someone I love?
But Dee… Wow, well, all bets are off when it comes to her. I want to soak up every second we can have together. I want to move to her city and spend the rest of what remains of my life with her. And who knows? Maybe I will get lucky and have a long and healthy life. Yes, the odds are stacked against me right now, but who knows what’ll change as medical research marches forward with dizzying speed?
With her warm and soft and fragrant next to me in the vinyl booth, I’m not thinking about dying. Nope. I’m incredibly focused on living.
After I pay our check, we walk back to the car, arms around each other. While she ran to the restroom, I took the morning meds I brought with me in case I stayed out all night. She doesn’t need to see me popping the pills that keep me alive.
“What do you feel like doing?” she asks.
If I could do anything I wanted, I’d suggest we go back to her place and pick up where we left off earlier. “You tell me. This is your city.”
“You need to get some sleep, and then we’ll go play tourist.”
“I’m so wired, I don’t think I’d sleep anyway.” Feeling all the things is such a high that sleep is the last thing on my mind. But if we go back to her place, we’ll spend the rest of the weekend in her bed, and I don’t want her to think that’s the only thing I want. Even if I want that. Badly.
“Hmmm, well, let’s take a ride out to the beach, then.”
“That sounds good.”
We end up in a parking lot in Miami Beach that Dee assures me will provide a spectacular view of the sunrise in a few hours.
“Is this safe?”
“Probably not, but I don’t think anyone will hassle us here.”
I double-check to make sure the doors are locked, just in case.
We listen to music, sing along—her so badly, it’s cute—and we talk.