Their last tour had been more than a year before, which meant another would be in the planning stages for some time next year. Leila never let them travel longer than a few months at a time. Until now, that schedule had worked well for all of us, but Shane and I being in college when the next tour would typically happen would make for an interesting situation.
When not on the road, Devil’s Lair continued to produce new music, sign new talent to their label, and record concerts locally in New York to stream online. That kept them current with their fans, while living as normal a life as being famous allowed.
“You mean with trusting him?” Mom asked without pulling punches.
“Not really,” I was quick to say. I did trust Shane. But we’d been together for so long, what I didn’t trust was how resolved he’d been that I was his world.
How could he know?
He hadn’t seen the world without me by his side… or even without his family by his side. I’d hate for him to miss out on anything because of me. And I’d equally hate if he were to realize I didn’t fit into a new world that he may discover. But I’d rather that happened sooner than later.
I wasn’t sure why I suddenly questioned things that I had never questioned before. It had nothing to do with loving him or him loving me. It was the rest of the stuff that came with loving someone like Shane. Maybe it was maturity, being months away from the next phase in our lives? Or maybe it was simply because life had been too good to me on every level, and it was inevitable before things turned to shit?
“I mean more with being apart for so long,” I clarified. Specifically, growing up while we were apart.
“I’m not going to lie. It’s hard, but I always have you and your brother to keep me company.” Her lips lifted into a toothless smile before she said, “It helps to talk on the phone every day, and visiting him gives me something to look forward to.” As I processed her words, she took my hand in hers and waited until I met her gaze. “It takes a special person to sign up for this lifestyle, Liv. Having said that, trust must be the foundation of your relationship, or it won’t work.”
“I know.”
“And always be true to yourself. Your father knows I love him, but I’m only a good partner because I know who I am.” She leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Don’t ever lose sight of yourself.”
That was the difference between Mom and me. She had been independent for so long that she’d needed to adapt to allow Dad into her life and her heart. Whereas I’d been with Shane for so long, I didn’t know where he ended and I began.
When the last song faded, Shane’s gaze immediately connected with mine. He threw me a brilliant smile before his father started another song. I knew the opening well and watched in awe as Jack and Leila began singing the lyrics together. Unlike my father, I was not musically inclined. But hearing Leila’s lovely voice complementing her husband’s deep masculine one made me jealous. Music had connected them even before their love had.
Besides my mom, I had a tremendous amount of respect for Leila. She was the only female member in Devil’s Lair and handled her husband, brother, and their three best friends like a grammar schoolteacher often handled her class—with a touch of creativity and a whole lot of patience.
I remembered earlier in the year, after I had gotten my acceptance letter from NYU, Leila had taken me and Mom out for lunch. We’d chatted excitedly about college and my future. She’d smiled lovingly when I mentioned having an interest in art. It’d been something I’d considered lately, having fallen in love with museums Mom had taken me to when I was younger.
Still, I wondered how that dream could meld with Shane’s.
Chapter Seven
Shane
While sandwiched between a chronic sniffer and a dude who smelled like pot, I hadn’t stopped fidgeting since this thing started. For like the hundredth time, I twisted to look back at the most beautiful girl in the auditorium. Each and every time our gazes would catch, and her smile made me only more impatient in my seat.
Alivia should’ve been the person sitting right beside me, and not ten rows back just because our last names were far apart alphabetically. Stupid.
That mess of wavy hair made it easy to spot her amid the sea of royal blue. A tassel skimming her cheek had those blue eyes of hers glowing brilliantly. And the ridiculously oversize gown did little to hide the smoking-hot curves I knew were underneath.
After throwing her a wink, I tried to refocus on our principal, who had rambled on for far too long. This coming after that bitch Molly had also rambled on, torturing us and pretending to be the model valedictorian the entire school assumed she was. When she finally shut up, our diplomas were handed out and tassels moved from right to left… we were graduates. So why couldn’t they spare us any more agony and end this damn thing?
I glanced over to where my parents were seated in the audience along with Trey and Camilla. Oscar and Alec sat behind them, and our siblings sat in front, looking more bored than I was. Of course, our moms hadn’t stopped crying, prompting our dads to exchange glances over the women’s heads. I got it was a big deal to watch your child graduate from high school, but we needed to call it like it was… this ceremony was boring as fuck.
It was time to get on with the celebration. Our parents were throwing us a party tonight at Granite, one of the hottest spots in Manhattan. Alivia and I had invited about a dozen people from school, not giving a shit about the rest of our graduation class, who would be a distant memory in a few minutes.
The bar had been Devil’s Lair’s favorite place to hang over the years. Earlier in their careers, playing at Granite had helped them during their climb to fame. The band often paid them back by choosing to perform there for special events, while giving them tons of business.
I’d been there only once during a charity concert. The huge rooftop area with glass ceilings and walls made it a perfect backdrop for bands and artists to perform. Playing bass on that stage that night was a highlight for me. Standing on the same spot so many brilliant musicians had over the years had seemed surreal.
I’d played with my father’s band before, even in a large arena when I was only seven. Trey had just come back to Devil’s Lair after his meltdown and had wanted me beside him to play the first song I had mastered on the bass. It also happened to have been the first song my dad wrote for my mom: “Reason I Am.”
Maybe I’d been too young to realize the gravity of it all—a little kid playing bass in front of more than twenty thousand people. My memories stemmed from watching recordings of the performance and not from where my tiny ass had sat on a stool front and center on that massive stage. Even with that experience—and several more after that had been just as monumental—there was something about the intimacy of playing at Granite that made it more thrilling, for some reason.
The only thing missing that night was Alivia, who had been home sick and couldn’t come to the show. After watching a video of it, she had been so proud of me. Quite a few had begun their careers at what the music scene had dubbed the “launching pad to success.” I had plenty of connections in my life where I could’ve launched my own career in a blink of an eye. But I wasn’t interested in riding on Devil’s Lair’s coattails… being the kid who made it because of who his mommy and daddy were.