Her brows rose at the snark evident in my tone. “You okay?”
“Yes…” Tears welling forced me to bark, “No, actually, I’m not okay.”
Kim grabbed my hand and dragged me toward an EXIT sign so forcibly I spilled some of my drink. “Kim, I can’t leave,” I shouted above the noise.
“We’re not. There’s an office back there.” Sure enough, after taking a long hall past both sets of bathrooms, she led me through a door marked PRIVATE. My gaze swept around the dingy paneled room, where random pieces of firefighters’ equipment were scattered on a metal bookcase that would fall over if touched. “I was in here before,” she admitted at a much normal volume. “Hiding until you arrived.”
“I thought you just got here.”
“Nope. Unfortunately, I’ve been here about twenty minutes. Came early with the plan to talk to Chase, maybe make amends. He never gave me a glance.” Waving toward a pair of chairs facing a desk, she barked, “Have a seat.”
“What a jerk.”
“Does that surprise you?” Sympathy replaced the annoyed expression on her face. “Aren’t they all jerks at some point? Now talk to me.”
There was so much to say that I had no idea where to begin. Sensing my reticence, she took my hand in hers. “Liv… at first I thought you were trying to be such a good friend by showing undying support. So many times, you patiently listened to me go on and on about my breakup with Chase. But I’m over it, and still your mood hasn’t changed. I know something has been bothering you. I planned to give you space and then call you out once he left. I figured it had something to do with it, and by then you’d open up. Then the whole Molly thing happened, and I knew you were hurting.”
“So many times I wanted to talk, but you had your own thing, and honestly I had no idea how to even vocalize my issue.”
“Is it the tour?”
“Actually, it all started after their LA trip.”
“Did he do something out there?”
“No. That’s part of my problem.” I carefully explained the obvious ways Shane kept out of trouble. During it, Kim never said a word, nor did she give me an indication of what ran through her mind. I tried to be sensitive to the fact her boyfriend at the time held none of the sensitivity Shane held regarding her feelings.
I then shared the way his face lit up when talking about the festival they’d played, causing thoughts of regrets to grow no differently than a weed that goes ignored. You’d never know there was a party happening down the hall with how engrossed she was in my rundown.
“Every decision he’s made was for someone else, Kim. It may not matter now, but what happens years from now when he realizes all that he missed out on? And what will come of me when that tears us apart and I have nothing but him in my life?”
Just as my dad’s brows had risen in understanding when I’d said the same to him, so did Kim’s. “You’re worried you’ll also have regrets.”
It wasn’t a question, and I had no choice but to say, “Yes.”
“Oh, sweetie.”
“I love him… so damn much it hurts. It physically causes me pain, thinking of a day in my life without him in it. And a few months ago, that notion seemed impossible, but now I can’t shake how much things have changed between us already. In our defense, we’ve been challenged for the first time in our relationship. Still, it can get so much worse. We are so entwined I don’t know where he ends and I begin.” The tears fell freely now, forcing Kim to pluck a few tissues out of a box sitting on the desk and hand them to me. “I hate feeling this way.”
“You can’t help how you feel, Liv. None of us can. As much as that bastard hurt me, if he were to say he couldn’t live without me, I’d be in his arms in a heartbeat.”
“Really?”
Looking ashamed, she nodded. “Really… and like you, I hate that I feel that way. The difference is, I learned how to move on, or pretend to at least… but you’re stuck. Maybe you guys need a break to figure things out?”
“Maybe,” I said through a pained whisper. The thought literally sent a sharp pain through my heart, but she was right. Maybe we did.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Shane
I kept one eye on the fanatics, and one on Alivia. But even that became difficult, and extracting myself became nearly impossible. If there was one thing I always learned from my parents, it was to be kind yet stern when faced with persistent fans. But my patience was up.
“Okay, enough!” With that, Ryan heard my voice and plowed through the door. He roughly pushed his way through the crowd. I didn’t blame him for not being in the room. Shit, Chase’s own parents failed to see a threat from a few feet away. No one could have predicted this reaction, or me being swarmed as I had been.
Most of them didn’t even know me, having gone to Chase’s school and not Windsor-Horne. It was obvious they were interested only in grabbing a piece of their own fifteen minutes. A photo on their social media, bragging rights over being friends with Shane Lair, getting a touch, copping a feel. It was all fucking ridiculous.
A few girls turned to follow until Ryan shoved a firm hand in their faces. “Girls, please stop.”
The entire scene took no more than ten minutes. It was scary how quickly things could escalate and get out of control. Did people who idolized others to the point of intrusion even possess an ounce of remorse? Maybe I was biased, having grown up among famous people.
Meanwhile, I panicked, having lost sight of the only person I cared about.
“Sorry about that, man,” Chase said as he hustled after me.
“I’m sorry I kind of stole your thunder.”
His face twisted into a comical grin. “Are you kidding me? You just got me a guarantee lay tonight and every night. I have no shame telling anyone Shane Lair is my best bud.”
That one comment snapped what little was left of my patience. “Shut the fuck up, man. I’m leaving.” I turned to walk away, and his hand landed on my arm.
“You can’t leave yet. Come on, dude. I’m gone in two days. We need to party.”
“I’ll be seeing you in a month,” I reminded him. The ass had made me promise I’d get him front-row tickets to our LA show.
“That’s not the same. You’re never around, and I miss hanging with you.”
Joey joined us with Harrison in tow. “Shots?” Joey looked from left to right before producing a flask from his back pocket. “The old folks aren’t paying attention.” As he untwisted the cap to take a long swig and pass it to Harrison, I’d never felt such a disconnect from my friends before.
Chase was last to drink and shoved the silver thermos into my chest. “You of all people need this the most.”
“I need to find Liv.”
“I’m sure she’s fine. You’re always missing out because of—”
“Fuck off!” I barked into his face before walking away. While scanning the heads in the darkened hall, but seeing no sign of Alivia, I wondered when my friend had become such a selfish prick. I asked a few of my classmates if they had seen her. Headshake after headshake made me crazy with worry.