His finger tucks under my chin and he lifts it so we’re eye to eye. “I couldn’t watch you destroy yourself any more than you already have. Her death wasn’t caused by you changing the medications. Her heart was weak, and she died. It was tragic, but you’re not a bad person, Serenity. You just did a dumb thing. If you didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, that would be one thing, but you know you fucked up, and you were going to lose it all to save your colleagues.”
I step back and shake my head. “No, I was just making sure I paid for what I did.”
“Let someone else save you for once.” He moves closer.
My eyes meet his with my heart racing. “You can’t say things like that,” I warn him.
“Why not?”
For so many reasons. My emotions are all over the place and I can’t seem to stop myself from saying them. Westin is—was—my safe place. He’s the person I wanted to be able to say anything to, and now it comes out too easily.
“Because you don’t love me. Because people don’t save me, it’s never been that way. Because it will make getting over you harder.”
Westin’s eyes close and he runs his hands through his hair. “I’m telling you to let someone take care of you, love you, and protect you for a change.”
“And are you going to be that person, Wes?”
We both know he won’t. He made it clear that we’re done, and I don’t blame him. He did what he did to save me, but on a strictly professional level.
He moves another step closer, and I tilt my head to look into his eyes, needing to see confirmation that he means what he says. “If you’ll let me, I want to be.”
“But,” I start to say and move away. I can’t think like this and all I want to do is believe this is real, but I’m afraid. “You said all those things, but how can you possibly feel that way? I screwed up so bad, I hurt you, lied to you, and now you, what, forgive me?”
I don’t know why I’m trying to talk him out of this, but I don’t want to feel this way ever again. Loving Westin was a leap I wasn’t entirely prepared for and then to fall without a net damn near broke me.
Westin grips my arm, stopping me from getting away. “I was angry and felt betrayed. I’m not saying I’m over it or that it’ll be easy. But I’ve spent a long time waiting for you, and the fact you were willing to come in here and lose your career for me . . . I don’t know, it shows who you are. You might be lost right now, but I’m holding out my hand, asking you to let me pull you back.”
I gaze up into his soulful green eyes, looking for a sign to tell me this is a dream. “I don’t want to screw this up.”
He runs his fingers down my arm, taking my hand in his. “The only mistake we’ll make is to walk away at the first sign of struggle. I love you, Ren. That means even when you fuck up, I’m going to be here to help you back up.”
Tears form and my lip trembles. I wanted to hear this. I prayed for another chance to prove to him that I was the girl he loved all along, I just got off track.
“I’m so sorry,” I say as a tear falls.
“I know,” he sighs and wipes my face. “I know you are, and I am too. I should’ve let you tell me when you were in trouble.”
I shake my head. “I put your entire career in jeopardy, you don’t owe me any apologies.”
He wraps his arms around my waist, and I melt. I don’t care that people could see us as tears stream down my face. I couldn’t stop myself from crying if I wanted to. Right now, he’s holding me. Westin’s arms are around me, keeping me from falling, and I feel at home.
For so long, I thought I had to close myself down in order to find my center, but I was so wrong. Being open to him is what made me face everything and see how destructive I was being.
“Can you forgive me anyway?” Westin asks.
I touch his cheek. “If it makes you feel better.”
“It does, and we’re going to spend the next two weeks figuring things out,” he says. I tilt my head, not sure how that’s going to happen. I’m off for two weeks on suspension. “I put in for vacation this morning. I had an early meeting with the board, where I was offered the chief position.”
“Wes!” I squeal and he holds me tight against him. “That’s amazing!”
He grins. “I told them that I would accept as long as I could take a few weeks to get some personal things in order.”
He planned this? “Is that why I got the suspension?”
“No. That was just a lucky coincidence. However,” he brushes my hair back while touching my face, “I’ve decided that we’ve spent enough time apart, waiting for one of us to be ready. And we need this.”
He doesn’t have to convince me. I want to rebuild what’s been broken. It’s clear that with Westin is where I belong, and I’ll spend the rest of my life fighting to hold onto him. Nothing is easy, but he’s worth the struggle.
“All I need is you.”
Westin leans down, presses his lips to mine, and kisses me with so much love, I feel it in my toes.
Epilogue
~Five years later~
“Mick, you have to help me out here, man.” Westin passes my dad a beer. “There’s no way the Cubs are going to win the World Series back to back.”
“This conversation is lame,” I reply as I rest my head on my father’s shoulder.
“Babe, you have to tell your brother he’s wrong!” Westin urges.
I look at Everton, who just returned home for leave before he reports to his duty station. Then I back Westin up. “You’re stupid and wrong.”
Everton shrugs. “I’m telling you, it’s going to happen.”
They continue their argument as I nestle closer to Daddy. We’re up at the farm for a few days. My father suffered a stroke about six months ago and he’s now living with us in Chicago. Twice a month, we ride out here, and let him enjoy being in his space.
I never understood that being at home could affect huge physical difference in patients until I began taking care of my father daily. I feel as though both Westin and I have become better doctors for it as well. We see the whole picture and have both adjusted our treatment plans because of it.
“What do you think, Daddy?”
He jerks his head up and tries to speak. “Idiots.” Thankfully, Westin and I can understand most of what he says. He’s been getting stronger with Westin’s help.
Westin scoffs and then drains his beer. “Am not.”
“Yeah, that’s debatable.” I roll my eyes at all of them and get to my feet. I look at my brother. “And you’re definitely an idiot.”
Everton flips me off and I laugh as I walk into the kitchen.
Three Christmases ago, Westin signed the house over to me. I cried, hugged him, made love to him, and took it as the first real sign that he had one hundred percent moved past everything that happened with Allison Brown-Peyton.
The house has been mostly redone, but in a way that it’s in line with its roots. I stand in front of the sink, looking out at the grass and think about my mother. She would’ve loved the changes to the house, and she’d be happy with how we’re all doing now. Daddy has been doing well, minus the residual speech issues, and it’s been nice having him around. I think he likes the company as well.