“Wow, that’s kind of amazing.”
Naomi smiled. “It’s very amazing. I live a very quiet life now, completely out of the spotlight. I have no interest in anyone knowing who I am and no interest in returning to that life at all.”
“Thank you for trusting me,” Jill said, realizing what Naomi had revealed to her.
“I’m not worried,” Naomi said. “I’ve been listening to Zeke talk about you for weeks. I know you’re one of us.”
That hit Jill right in the chest and she had to work to pull in her next breath.
She knew the Landrys had accepted her into their circle. She knew she was automatically included because of Zeke. And the baby. But she hadn’t really let it in.
That was…pretty awesome.
“But just because I’m not interested in a public life, I still have a lot of love for wild animals and all the people who work with them,” Naomi went on, spreading her arms wide. “And the fact that they’re building this animal park right in my backyard, is kind of crazy and ironic. I feel like I should be a part of it. Somehow.” She let her arms drop. “Charlie and Jordan are two of my best friends and they keep insisting that I don’t need to do anything I’m uncomfortable with, but there are so many talented, wonderful people here and if I can help at all, I really want to.” She gave Jill a small, sincere smile. “I’m sorry you’re struggling with the penguins. It made me think of Hugo so, after listening to you talk about your mom and everything, I finally decided to share.”
“You think maybe there’s something like that going on with the penguins?”
“Zeke told us about A.J. About how he was the only one taking care of the penguins and how he was sick most of the time. How you didn’t meet them until he passed. And how they’ve only been with you since then and that you’ve been…”
“Uptight. Worried. Stressed. Anxious.”
Naomi gave a soft laugh. “Yeah.”
Jill thought about that. She believed what Naomi had told her about the bear. Animals could be very sensitive, and she’d also seen some amazing bonds between humans and animals as well as some instances of across-species bonding that were surprising and hard to explain. “You think the penguins are grieving A.J.? And picking up on my tension?”
“You’re the expert,” Naomi said. “I just thought I’d mention it.” She paused. “Actually, I wasn’t going to mention it. But then you were talking about your mom and the baby and I realized that maybe you could use another perspective.”
“Why do you think this has to do with my mom?”
“Zeke talks about how one of the things you have in common is that you both like things simple and don’t mind other people helping out and doing things for you. You said your mom actually kept you from learning how to take care of yourself with even the basic stuff like cooking and laundry.”
Jill nodded.
“But I’m guessing you don’t consider things simple with the penguins. I’ll bet you know what each of those penguins weighs down to the ounce and I’ll bet you monitor their vitamin intake daily, and I’m sure that you’ve noted details about every single one of their behaviors down to which part of the enclosure they each prefer.”
Jill shifted her weight from one foot to the other. That was all scarily accurate.
Naomi noticed. “I was around animals and their caretakers every day for six years. I know a TV show and an endangered penguin project are different in a lot of ways, but I also know how people who love the animals they’re caring for act.”
“It’s all stuff I’ve always done for the penguins at the zoo. But now, these are mine. I’m the only one taking care of them. And they were entrusted to me by a friend as his dying wish. And…yeah, I’ve definitely been uptight about it.”
“Because you’re a perfectionist like your mom.”
Jill straightened in surprise. “No. I’m definitely not. It took me twenty minutes to find my phone this morning. And it was in my pocket the entire time. I got downstairs and was about to walk out the door but I couldn’t remember if I’d taken my vitamin this morning.” She grimaced. “So I took two. And that is obviously not something I should do often. Though I should probably look up what extra prenatal vitamins will do to me.”
“Why were you so distracted?” Naomi asked.
Jill opened her mouth to reply, realized what her answer was, realized Naomi already knew what her answer was, and snapped her mouth shut.
“You were thinking about the penguins,” Naomi filled in.
Jill sighed.
“You’re not a perfectionist in everything the way you think your mom was, but you are about the thing that matters the most to you. And after talking to Addison and Dana, I hope you see that there’s a very real possibility that your mom wasn’t perfect in every way behind the scenes. I’m sure Stella and Cooper and Grace and Chloe and the others think Addison and Dana are though.”
Jill let that sink in. And tried to think of who her mom might have hung out with and talked about mom stuff with. She couldn’t come up with anyone. And that suddenly made Jill sad. She didn’t even have a child yet and she was already looking forward to time with other moms.
“Can I say something else?” Naomi asked.
“Please. This has all been really helpful.”
Naomi looked relieved. “Thank God you think so. Okay, look, I don’t know your mom. It sounds like she really did try to do it all on her own. But I’m wondering if, even though you want to be perfect for the penguins, you might consider forming a little support group for penguin caretakers. Like the group you’ll have with the moms.”
“Wow, that would be nice,” Jill said. “I’m usually the one that people come to when they have questions and, until now, I’ve always had answers. But I’d love to have a group I could talk to.” She shrugged. “But all the other programs are going well.”
“I was thinking it might be helpful to talk to someone who was dealing with the exact issue you are,” Naomi said. “As in these penguins. Here.”
“But no one else is dealing with these penguins.”
“Maybe they should.” Naomi reached out and squeezed Jill’s arm. “I’m saying that, you don’t mind when people cook for you and help with your laundry and you’re open to help with the baby. Why not let someone help you with the penguins? Don’t take it all on yourself. Get a penguin buddy. And, even if he…or she,” she added quickly, “… can’t actually make the penguins procreate, at least you’ll have someone to talk to about it.”
Jill let that sink in. It would be nice to bounce some ideas off of someone. Or maybe just complain to.
“And maybe you’ll relax a little and the penguins will pick up on that too and that will help,” Naomi went on.
“Yeah. Maybe.”
“Really? You’ll consider letting someone help?” Naomi seemed surprised.
“Sure. Can we have wine? Like Addison and Dana do with their group?”
“Well, you can’t. At least for a few more months.”
“Dammit.” Jill’s hand went to her stomach. “That’s right.” She really wasn’t used to being pregnant. She hadn’t had a bit of morning sickness and she felt pretty normal overall. “Seriously. I definitely need people taking care of me. I almost forgot I was pregnant.”