“And maybe some of it was proving to Mitchell that you’d moved on, that you were happy without him?”
Brenna looked over at Honor. “I am happy without him.”
“We both know that,” Erin said. “But your marriage left scars that you haven’t allowed to heal.”
“Which was why you always found fault with men you dated,” Honor said.
Erin nodded. “And maybe why you’re having so much trouble settling in with Finn, who’s the greatest guy I’ve ever known—short of my husband, of course.”
“He really is, Bren,” Honor said. “He cares deeply for you. He would never do anything to hurt you.”
“And he sure as hell is nothing like Mitchell. He doesn’t put work first, he goes above and beyond to spend time with you. I mean, what exactly is it that you’re looking for?”
She wished she knew the answer to that question. “I don’t know. Maybe he and I just aren’t a match. This was what I was afraid of when everyone was pushing at me to have a relationship with him. That it wouldn’t work out.”
“Why isn’t it working out, though?” Honor asked. “Is it because you don’t have the right feelings for him, or is it because you’re afraid you do?”
That question sailed straight to her heart, shutting her down completely.
“I don’t know. We haven’t discussed it.”
“Which means you haven’t spoken to him,” Erin said. “Since when?”
She stared at her laptop instead of her sisters. “I don’t know. A few days ago.”
“Brenna,” Honor said. “That’s not like you.”
She sighed. “I know. But it scares me. He scares me. My feelings scare me.”
“Just . . . talk to him, Brenna,” Erin said. “Nothing gets resolved without a conversation.”
“That’s true,” Honor said. “You have to deal with things head-on. Ignoring the situation only makes it worse.”
“I will.” She looked up to find two pair of disbelieving eyes staring at her. “I will. I promise. Now can we get back to the meeting?”
She’d deal with all things Finn later.
Much later.
Though much later turned out to be a lot sooner than she wanted it to be, because after she left the wine cellar that night she literally ran right into him on the walkway between the buildings and the main house. Finn had his head down and so did she, so neither of them saw it coming and she almost fell on her ass. Would have, actually, had Finn not caught her in his arms to steady her.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Murphy ran circles around her in his excitement to see her, so she bent to pet him, then straightened.
“What are you up to?” she asked.
“Just putting things away for the night. You?”
“Same.”
“Working late.”
She nodded. “I had a meeting, and then I needed to check on a few things.”
“I see.”
This conversation was painfully awkward—all because of her. She needed to do something to fix that.
“Finn, look. About the other day. I was out of sorts and in my head. And I know there are things we need to talk about. Deep, important things. But I’m just not ready yet. I need some time to sort through it all in my head. I’m confused and just working through it gives me a headache. Can you give me some time? I promise I’m not blowing you off or trying to avoid a conversation. I just want to make sure I have coherent thoughts when we do have it.”
He nodded. “That’s fair.”
She hadn’t expected him to acquiesce so quickly. “Thanks.”
“In the meantime, I’m starving and Louise told me she was making lasagna for dinner. How about we go eat?”
She smiled. “That sounds like a great idea.”
He held his arm out for her and she slipped her arm in his, and all that tension she’d been holding inside suddenly melted away, along with her headache.
They walked toward the house together.
CHAPTER
• • • • • •
twenty-nine
FINN KNEW THAT Brenna wasn’t looking forward to being around Mitchell and Allison again, but she was going to go through with seeing them tonight, because she’d agreed to go to Esther and Brock’s housewarming party. He knew she’d been happy when Esther had to delay the party because Brock had to take several out-of-town business trips, but now it was finally happening.
She’d even obsessed over buying them a gift, dragging him out to shop with her so he could offer an opinion. Which was nice, but she was the one with taste, not him, so whatever she chose would have been fine. But she wanted to put both their names on the card since they were still supposed to be engaged, so she chose a decorative something or other for their living room and asked him what he thought.
To Finn it looked like a curved bluish bowl, so he said it was fine. Apparently fine was the wrong word because she gave him a head tilt and a look. He offered up that it was pretty, and that seemed to satisfy her. When the salesperson rang it up, Finn nearly choked at the price.
Damn, fancy bowls were expensive as hell. But he dug out half the cost from his wallet and handed her the cash.
She looked down at the money. “What’s this?”
“My share.”
“Unnecessary.”
“It’s from both of us, right?”
“Yes, but it was my—”
“No buts. I pay half.” He gave her a firm look.
She sighed. “Then you should have taken more of an interest in the decision making.”
The salesperson handed him the bag and they walked away from the counter. “No shit. I wouldn’t have spent that much money.”
She laughed and slipped her arm through his. “I guess I don’t have to ever worry about you spending all our money once we’re fake married, huh?”
He gave her a curious look, but she didn’t seem to notice.
It had been two weeks since their boat trip, and they still hadn’t had a deep conversation about the issues they needed to talk out.
Finn wasn’t much for letting things hang unresolved, but Brenna didn’t seem to want to talk about it, and since they’d been getting along well and Brenna had seemed to move past whatever the problem had been that day, he hadn’t wanted to push it.