“He asked for three weeks, Brenna.”
Her heart sank. “Three weeks?”
Her mother nodded.
Three weeks was a very long time. He could be anywhere. With anyone. Doing anything. Was he with someone else? No, he wasn’t. That wasn’t Finn.
“Do you know where he went?”
“Aye, I do. But I’m not sure I should tell you. You gave up that right when you broke up with him.”
Her stomach hurt. Her heart hurt. And the realization hit that she couldn’t hide from her feelings any longer.
Tears pricked her eyes and she couldn’t hold them back. “I love him, Mom. I haven’t even admitted that to myself until right now. And I miss him so much it feels like my heart is breaking in two. I need to find him and make this right, if I can.”
Her mother nodded. “Now you’re starting to make some sense.”
She wound her hands together. “So you’ll tell me where he is?”
“Yes. All right, go get your man back, Brenna. You’ll have to swallow your pride.”
She could do that. She’d do anything to have Finn back in her life. In any way he wanted her.
If he wanted her back.
CHAPTER
• • • • • •
thirty-one
FINN INHALED AND let the sharp sea breeze blow over him, bringing him the calm he’d needed so badly. He stood at the edge of the cliff for the longest time, then walked back to the cottage.
He’d been lucky to find this place situated on the cliffs with an incredible view of the water. It was isolated, which was just what he’d needed so he could take the time to be by himself, to reflect and figure out his next steps.
Not that he’d figured out what those steps were just yet. But he would. Soon.
A light rain began to fall, the taps on the roof reminding him of his childhood. A fire roared in the fireplace, keeping the small cottage warm. Perfect. He sat on the sofa and put his feet up, sipping the coffee he’d poured.
Being alone wasn’t so bad. He liked it out here—a chance to commune with his homeland again, to breathe the sea air and remember what it felt like to be in Ireland.
The first few days he’d stayed in the village where he’d grown up, though he didn’t know but a few people there anymore. Still, it felt good to reconnect, to go visit his parents’ graves, to feel closer to them somehow. It had been so long.
He’d spent some time at the cemetery talking to his ma, telling her about his troubles with Brenna. Just talking it out had helped give him some perspective. Then he came up to this place and had fallen instantly in love with the seclusion and the beauty of it. He drove down to the village for groceries, but otherwise, he was completely alone.
Alone and missing Brenna so much he thought his heart might shrivel up and die from it. But he couldn’t change how someone else felt, he could only manage himself.
Still, he intended to go back and fight for her, convince her that what they had together was the real thing. And if it took him the rest of his life to convince her, then that was what he intended to do. Because that was what you did when you loved someone—and you knew that that someone loved you back, even though she might be afraid of love.
He was a patient man. And Brenna needed him.
There was a knock on the door and he frowned.
No one should be up here.
He walked to the door and opened it, shocked as hell to see a totally soaked Brenna standing there, suitcase on wheels trailing behind her. She looked utterly miserable and pissed as hell.
“Really, Finn? You had to come all the way to Ireland to get away from me?”
“You think this trip was all about you?”
“Wasn’t it? I’m wet. Can I come in?”
He stepped aside to let her drag her suitcase in. She left it at the door, shook off the water from her raincoat and undid the buttons, hanging it on the hook by the door.
Finn went into the bathroom and grabbed a towel, then brought it out to her.
“Thanks.” She sat on the bench and pulled off her boots.
“Want some coffee or tea?”
“Coffee would be great, thank you.”
He poured a cup for her, then carried it into the living area where she’d taken a seat on the chair by the fireplace.
“Thanks. Nice place.”
“It works for me. What are you doing here, Brenna?”
“Oh, we’re getting right into it. Okay.”
“No reason not to, is there?” What he wanted to do was grab her up into his arms and hold her, kiss her and tell her how he felt. But he knew she’d made this trip to talk to him, so he was going to let her do that.
“I guess not.” She took a sip of the coffee, then set it on the table and stood, coming over to stand in front of him. “You left without saying anything. I missed you.”
His heart pinged, but he pushed it away. “I left so I could have some time to think.”
She tilted her head back and he tried not to get lost in her eyes. “Think about what?”
“Next steps. My future. What I want.”
He jammed his hands in his jeans pockets to keep himself from reaching out to touch her. He’d spent the past week reconciling in his head how he was going to deal with seeing her every day, working with her every day, and not touch her, not kiss her, not think of her as his. And now she stood right across from him, having traveled thousands of miles to see him. He was confused as hell.
“What do you want, Finn?”
He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Honestly, Brenna? I don’t know yet. Right now I just want some peace.”
He walked away from her and stood at the door to look at the sea, at the rolling waves and the rain coming down, the fierceness of nature mimicking the storm roiling inside him.
And then she was next to him and her hand was on his shoulder, her touch burning him from the inside out.
“I’m sorry, Finn. Sorry for hurting you so badly that you felt you had to leave. This is all my fault. I was so scared about how I felt, about how much you made me feel. I’ve never felt like this before, so consumed by love that I was afraid it would overwhelm me. And you were right when you told me that the mistakes of my past had led me to make all my decisions. I had to let that go because I’m not the same person I was then, and you’re not at all like the man I was once married to.
“You’re kind and gentle and open with your feelings. You even argue with me and tell me when I’m wrong, which I don’t often appreciate at the time, but in retrospect I realize I need so much in my life. But you also listen to my point of view and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. I love you, Finn, and my heart will break if I can’t spend the rest of my life with you.”