“The marriage is tied up in all this,” he surmises, piercing me with his wise eyes.
I nod. “Dad needs this merger with Shaw Software to protect the company, and Herman Shaw wants to marry his daughter off. He made it a condition of the deal.” I squeeze his fingers tighter, siphoning some of his warmth and his strength. “I don’t want to do it, Bright One.”
“Don’t call me that.” He yanks his hand out of mine, averting his eyes. “Don’t pour acid over everything we shared.”
“I’m not. It’s still appropriate on many levels.” The name Xavier is a Basque-Spanish name and part of its meaning is bright. It’s one of the random facts stored in his magical brain. When he told me, I knew it was the perfect term of endearment because Xavier shines in every way possible. He’s incredibly bright, as in intelligent, and his presence in my life always brightened it, even on days where he was driving me to insanity and we were bickering like crazy.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” He folds his arms over his chest, still refusing to meet my gaze.
“I told her I’m with someone, and she’s got a guy too. We have an understanding, and we’ll only need to appear to be married in public. We can still see each other. We just need to be discreet.”
“Have you any idea how fucking insulting that is, Hunt?” Lifting his head, he pierces me with red-rimmed eyes. “I always come second with you, and I want to be with someone who will put me first.”
“I know you do, and you deserve that. I can’t give it to you now, but someday.”
He snorts, looking sad as he shakes his head. “I honestly think you believe that.” His features soften a little. “You’re so guarded, Sawyer. So uptight and closed off. Now I’ve met your father, I am beginning to understand a little more. The age gap between us never bothered me previously because you have always seemed so mature, so together. But I see the truth now.” He grabs his bag off the floor, slinging it over one shoulder as he stands. “You’re still trying to figure out who you are and where you fit in this world, and you’re scared. Scared to open yourself up. Scared to really live. Scared to love. I hate that for you, and I used to think I was the guy who could break down your walls, but you have built them so high, and I’m not strong enough to scale them.”
“You mean something to me.” I stand, rounding the table so I’m standing in front of him. “You’re important.” I reach out, cupping his cheek, hurt when he removes my hand and takes a step back.
“Not important enough, and that’s the crux of the situation for me. I love you, Sawyer. I truly do, but I can’t be with you. At least not now.” His eyes probe mine as my internal organs feel like they’re dissolving. “I don’t want to break up on bad terms. We have to work closely together, and I’m going to do this. To help your dad, even though he’s a giant ass. I’ll do it for you and the Techxet workers because it’s the right thing. Because I want justice to prevail, and despite what your dad said, I smell the elite all over this. If this is their new play, I want in.”
Determination mixes with sadness in his eyes, and I can tell he has made his mind up. I respect him enough not to continue arguing. I have lost him, and I’m the only person to blame. A sudden urge to bang my head against the wall accosts me, but I clench my hands into balls at my side, ignoring the urge. “Thank you for agreeing to help. I meant what I said. We can’t do this without you.”
“Sawyer, sweetheart. Can you… Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you had company,” Mom says, stepping into the room carrying a large folder.
“Hi.” Sydney slips into the room behind Mom, and I barely smother my groan. “I’m Sydney. Sawyer’s fiancée.” She thrusts her hand out toward Xavier, and the giant diamond on her ring finger glistens under the bright lights of the room.
Xavier shoves his hands into the pockets of his pants, shooting her the fakest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. “I know who you are.”
The edge drops off her smile as she lowers her arms to her sides. “Are you a friend of Sawyer’s?”
“I’m Xavier.” He slants her with a knowing look, and I inwardly cringe.
“Do you work with Sawyer?” She continues probing while I silently pray for divine intervention.
“Wow.” Xavier twists around, staring at me with a tortured expression. “The lies just keep on coming.” I never said I told her I was with him specifically. Just that I was with someone, so he’s splitting hairs, but I know it’s coming from a place of pain.
“I haven’t lied.”
“Sawyer, what’s going on?” Mom asks as Sydney frowns, her shrewd gaze bouncing between my ex and me.
“Nothing, Mrs. Hunt. Forgive me,” Xavier says, dramatically bowing at the waist. “I was being rude. It’s a private joke. Anyhoo.” He straightens up. “I better get going. We have a lot of work to do, and I need to get settled in my new apartment.” He shoots me a scathing look. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“I apologize if I was rude,” he says to Sydney. “You seem like a nice girl. Congratulations.” His eyes bore a hole in the side of my face. “I hope you will both be very happy.” With those awesome parting words, he leaves, and I’m stuck in a place halfway between sadness and anger.
“He’s a little…odd,” Mom says after Xavier has departed the room.
“I think eccentric might be a little more fitting,” Sydney says, looking at me funny.
“If you are done being judgmental assholes, was there something you wanted?” I snap.
Sydney at least has the decency to look ashamed. My mother, on the other hand, is clearly missing that memo. “Sawyer, I don’t know what has gotten into you lately, but you were not raised like this. Remember your manners.”
“I’m not in the mood for a lecture, Mom.” I rub at my throbbing temples. “What do you want?”
She slams the folder down on the table, and a muscle pops in her jaw. “We need your input on some of these options.”
“I have nothing to contribute.” I place my notepad and my tablet into my messenger bag. “You pick.” I lift my chin, staring at Sydney. “I’m sure whatever you decide will be perfectly lovely.” Sarcasm drips from my tone, and I know I’m being an asshole, but I have zero fucks to give right now.
“I ordered you a purple silk tie for Jackson’s and Vanessa’s wedding,” Mom continues, as if I haven’t spoken. “It will match the beautiful dress we’ve just ordered for Sydney to wear.”
“Fine, whatever.” I zip up my bag and straighten up, not wanting to think about the wedding.
While my friends are already married, they didn’t have a traditional wedding, so they are doing the whole shebang now purely for Jackson’s mom. It’s happening at a hotel in The Hamptons in four weeks’ time and I’m dreading it now. I’ll have to face Xavier with Sydney as my date. Plus, it’ll mean it’s only one week until my own wedding.
“Can I talk to you for a sec?” Sydney asks as I move to brush past both women.